Public Service Announcements

There is the old public service announcement.  'Don't Drink And Drive'.  You would usually see this on your TV around 3AM.  And you were still up at that hour watching TV because you were drunk.  Usually this was already after you got home, so it was a little late for the advice.  Now there is the newer public service announcement.  'Buzzed Driving Is Drunk Driving'.  Hopefully people see this before it's 3AM.  But it seems we need a new one and it doesn't matter if it's 3AM or even if your drunk or not.  It's 'Don't Drive Your Boat With Drugs In It'.

We're not talking a few joints here and there.  We're talking Kilos.  Maybe the public service announcement should say.  'Don't Drive Your Boat With Kilos In It'.

And J. Edgar Comey has been indicted on two counts based on lies he told to Congress.  This has to be a first.  No FBI Director has ever been indicted although maybe a few of them should have been, starting with J. Edgar Hoover himself.  Will Comey get convicted, don't bet on it.  If convicted will he do time?  Fuggettaaboutit!  But the public service announcement should be.  "Don't lie to Congress.  Remember you're under oath."  

Of course some may wonder about all the other people who lied to Congress.  You might say what about them?  And we'd like to give you a list of them too but there's not enough space here or in too many other places either.

And for those of you who regularly go to the gym, we're sure you've seen this.  Someone usually a Gen Y or Gen Z is sitting on one of the weight machines as pictured above.  They are in between reps and they are texting on their phone while others wait to use the machine.  We think the Public Service announcement should be.  'These machines are not phone booths.'.

This Public Service Announcement might not work too well as puzzled Gen Y and Z's might ask, what's a phone booth?

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The Needy

62 year old Celebrity Chef Valentino Lucin robbed three banks in one day!  Thus breaking the Dalton Gang's record of two banks in one day.  But better than the Daltons' back in Coffeyville Kansas in 1892, the 62 year old Chef did not get all shot up.  He even got to hold onto the money for a while, till the Police tracked him down.  Why would he do this?  Well his big restaurant went bust, he went chapter 11 and then he couldn't make the payments.  What do you do when you need a mortgage or a loan?  You go to a bank because that's where the money is.  What if you've gone bankrupt and your credit score is like 399?  You got no credit.  You can't borrow.  So now you know why the 62 year old Celebrity Chef, robbed the three banks.  He needed the money.

Just in case you're wondering what happened to the Daltons, well two of the brothers along with two of their cohorts were killed at the scene.  The last Dalton, Emmett got all shot up too.  But he survived his wounds, did his time and went on to be a early day Hollyweird Screenwriter.  Hooray for Hollyweird!

And a Florida Nurse Alexis Von Yates was sentenced to two years in prison for having sex with her 15 year old stepson.  She and her stepson were watching a horror movie and they got scared.  Next thing they knew they were clutching each other.  Von Yates then explained to her stepson that she hadn't had sex in two weeks and she was horny.  She also thought her husband who was at work wouldn't be back till morning.  But the husband came home early and caught them in flagrante delicto.  The boy ran out of the room with his pants around his ankles.  Von Yates tried to cover herself but the deed was done.  She knew it was wrong, so she took the plea deal and got the two years.

Now you may ask why would someone do something like this?  It's beyond stupid.  The kid is 15 how is he going to keep his mouth shut?  Not to mention that by any standard, it's immoral, illegal, incestuous, unconscionable.  So why?  Why?  But then Von Yates explained it best.  She was needy.

Now we save prayer for really serious things but this is starting to get real serious and fast.  As we head into the NFL's third week, both the New York Giants and the New York Jets are 0 and 2.  The Giants are facing the Chiefs who are also 0 and 2.  The odds of the Chiefs going 0 and 3 are not good.  The Jets are facing the Buccaneers and the Buccaneers are 2 and 0.  That's not good either.  So like we said maybe praying is a little too strong.  Maybe hopes or well wishes?  No, 0 and 3 is too ugly to bear.  Let's us pray.  Like it says at the top here.  This is about the needy.

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In The News

It was the New York Post that informed us that Katie Holmes, she used to be married to Tom Cruise btw, had chowed down on six chicken nuggets covered with caviar.  That cost her $100, a whole Benjamin!  And she did this at the U.S. Open.  And, we thought, aren't we glad we read this.  That's why she's pictured above.  We figured you'd like it too.

And Robert Mueller, the guy who was in charge of the Russia, Russia, Russia investigation has Parkinson's Disease.  This is news to who?  Anyone who remembers him mumbling through his appearance before Congress when he was explaining his report, knew this one.  Okay, okay maybe not the Parkinson's Diagnosis.  But the fact that the guy's brain wasn't working, was kind of hard to miss.  Come to think of it maybe there was something to this Russia, Russia, Russia thing back 2016.  It just got lost somewhere.

Then there is Charlie Sheen.  He of the Tiger Blood, crack cocaine, King of the escorts and porn stars.  The guy on 'Two and A Half Men' who bedded a never ending bevy of beautiful women.  And no one thought that role was much of a stretch for him.  Well now he has a new memoir, The Book Of Sheen.  In this memoir, Charlie tells how when he was on the crack pipe, he had sex with men.  Does that shock anybody?  Is anyone surprised?  And the big question, will this hurt his career?  We mean as an escort maven.  Not as an actor or a crack pipe aficionado.  Only time will tell.

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