Things We Or You, Didn't Know

There's an old expression about how you really can't understand someone, unless you walk a mile in their shoes.  That comes to mind, as every once in a while we become aware of something that we didn't really know.  Like the food in prison is bad.  Most of us have never been in prison, so how would we know?  But now, thanks to Mark Agnifilo, P. Diddy's lawyer, we know.  It's P. Diddy's major lament.  The food is bad.  We'll bet you thought his major problem was no "freak offs", no drugs and no baby oil.  Anyone want to grab a sign and protest?  We didn't think so.

And the Polls, the political Polls are close.  But you already knew that.  But then they are always close.  Doesn't matter which election or what candidates or what office.  The Polls, are always close, at least in this century.  Bet you didn't know that?  You could look it up.  The only exception in this century, was Hillary Clinton.  She was always leading in the Polls, especially the Presidential Polls.  Even when she wasn't running.

And here comes the Robotaxi and the Robovan or so says Elon.  Do we really need to use his last name anymore?  Elon says they'll be operational by 2026.  It will only cost 20 cents a mile for you and only 5 cents a mile to operate.  And you won't have to worry if your driver is a serial killer or some other kind of miscreant, as there won't be a driver.  These cars will be completely autonomous.  Of course, they'll be all electric.  This is Elon.  This is Tesla.  And BTW, they will be recharged by induction, whatever that is.  But no one will have to plug anything in.  Of course Elon had said he'd have robocars out and running around by 2020 and they're not here as yet...  But we'll bet you didn't know about any of this.  Maybe you did but we didn't.

Oh that's Jimmy Cagney at the top of the column.  He's playing Cody Jarrett in the classic film 'White Heat'.  Cody is in prison here and he's eating dinner.  As you can see, he doesn't like the food either.

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Help Wanted

If you go to the 'Do We Have Careers For You!' website, you will find some really great opportunities like these....

Wanted: Leader of Terrorist Gang.  Looking for a take charge individual who can work independently.  Must have executive experience.  Can start immediately.  7 figure salary.  Set your own hours.  Possible 72 Virgins in the offing.  Please mail in your resume to us.  All of hiring Client's computers, cell phones, walkie talkies and pagers are presently offline.

Wanted; Experienced Sand Hog aka tunnel digger.  Needed for job in NYC, details upon acceptance.  Must have experience working in and around sewers and other big city encumbrances.  If you dug the tunnels in Gaza, Southern Lebanon or Mexico helping El Chapo escape, it will be a huge plus.  Client's chance for bail or acquittal almost non-existent.  50 million dollars on the table.  Send your IP address here.  All information will be kept strictly confidential.  Attorney client privilege in effect.

Wanted: Family, minimum 2 kids, 3 is a plus.  To pose for pictures and appear at events.  Single Moms or intact family, so long as Dad doesn't mind not being in the pictures or doesn't mind staying in the car at the events.  Short gig, no more than 4weeks.  5 figures, possible 6, depending on what happens on November 5th.

Wanted: Mayor, Deputy Mayor, Commissioner and a lot of assistants.  Multiple opportunities here, as the vacancies are mounting by the day.  No experience necessary.  Applicants should not be facing indictments or be the subject of a current Federal, State or City investigation.  6 figure salaries.  Nice office, official cars and police escorts wherever you go, especially if like your predecessors, you're being escorted away.

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R.I.C.O.

R.I.C.O.  Racketeer, Influenced, Corrupt, Organization.  That is what P. Diddy, Diddy, Puff Daddy, Puffy Daddy, Love, aka Sean Combs, is indicted for being in charge of.  It's not a single crime or even a bunch of crimes but it's running an organization that consistently commits crimes.  It's what they got John Gotti on, for running the Gambino crime family.  And according to the Attorney General' of the Southern District of the United States of America, P. Diddy, Diddy, Puff Daddy, Puffy Daddy, Love aka Sean Comb's organization, was doing that, for decades.  The Attorney General of the Southern District also said, it was a well oiled machine.

For people wondering how he got away with it for so long, we consulted with our legal experts and they explained that in order for the government to proceed with a case like this, they would need a complainant.  There was no dead body or other third party evidence of a crime.  That complainant turned out to be one Cassie Ventura, ex-girlfriend, ex-protege, ex-victim.  The reason there was no one before her, is P. Diddy etcetera, etcetera was able to make or break people in the music industry and so was able to prey on them as well.

But with Cassie on board, the Feds were able to get a search warrant and raid his homes.  They caught him with his pants down.  There were automatic weapons with the serial numbers scrapped off and drugs, lots of drugs, illegal drugs.  Our legal experts tell us, the drug and gun charges alone, will get him 20 years.  But the piece de resistance, is the video  recordings his "freak offs", parties where some participants were drugged, coerced and even forced to have sex,  Then there was the 1,000 bottles of baby oil and sex lube.  We told you, this was a well oiled machine.

P. Diddy etcetera, etcetera, was at the top of the music business and a major celebrity, who hob knobbed with just about every other celebrity, actor, singer, and politician of his day.  So naturally everyone begins to wonder with a certain amount of glee, just who was in those "freak offs" and caught on video?  Whose career will hit the skids, as they are seen in flagrante delicto?

Well don't hold your breath.  Those things never seem to materialize.  And in this case, the only recordings needed for the trial will be those with the cooperating witnesses.  There's no need for anyone to see any of the others.  But even if they are somehow leaked and the celebrity, actors, singers, politicians and even Preachers are all caught in flagrante delicto and they all, fall like dominoes... They'll just be replaced by another group of celebrities, actors, singers, politicians and even Preachers almost over night.  It's like we have a mill, that produces pretty but silly, mostly empty headed, people, who entertain us and then exit stage left or right.  It's a celebrity, actor, singer, politician and even Preacher mill.  And, it's a well oiled machine.

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State of the Union

Vice President Kamala Harris was overheard mumbling.  "Why doesn't anyone want to shoot me?  Should I do a few interviews?  A press conference?"

Neighbors describe the latest would be assassin as "a cuckoo" and "a lot of people were afraid of him".  This breaks with the usual description of "nice guy, quiet guy" that we get when the neighbors are quizzed about the gunman, who shoots or tries to shoot himself into the headlines in a blaze of blood and glory.

This guy's name is Ryan Wesley Routh and we know a lot of you are wondering, why was he taken alive?

The question now becomes who does Ryan Wesley Routh remind us of most?  John Wilkes Booth?  Charles J. Guiteau?  Leon Czolgosz?  Lee Harvey Oswald?  Or was Ryan Wesley Routh, supposed to be the guy on the grassy knoll and something went, woefully wrong?

Ryan Wesley Routh was waiting for Trump at the 5th hole.  Is there some significance to the number 5 or is it just that there's a bathroom at the 5th?  Routh had his own Sniper's nest there , complete with a SKS 47 rifle, a bullet proof vest, some food and and video recorder, just no bathroom.

Congress will hold hearings.  They will grill people.  They will get angry for all the news shows and the podcasts.  They will find...

A. A viable conspiracy

B. Links to some shadowy government agency, no one has ever heard of before

C. Links to agencies we know like the CIA and the FBI.  You know, the usual suspects.

D. Links to someone like Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates or Nancy Pelosi.

E.  They find nothing.

We're betting on E, nothing, as usual.

Such is the State of the Union.

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There Is No Ethan And...

Back in the day, two cabbies got into a heated argument because Cabbie number 1 wanted to bet the Giants and Cabbie number 2, was telling him the line was way off and only an idiot would make the bet.  To which Cabbie number 1 said.  "I'm an idiot!  I'm an idiot!"  To which Cabbie number 2, answered.  "Don't brag about it."

This comes to mind as one Anna Akbari has written a Tome 'There's No Ethan'.  Seems there is this con artist who got 10 women to fall in love with a completely fictional Ethan.  This Ethan was an M.I.T. and Colombia graduate, a Financial Analyst with a BMW and a dog named Harvey.  Not only is Ethan none of these things, he isn't even a man.  Seems the fictional Ethan, is really a woman named Emily Marantz, M.D. and a Gynecologist to boot.  Well, we guess if any of these conned woman had managed to hook Ethan, at least they would have married a Doctor.

How did he meet all these women?  OK Cupid, a online dating site from which he could spin his tales of affection towards them.  Lucky for all of these women, Ethan didn't want any money.  The book explains that he only wanted to toy with their emotions, or so they say.  Three of these women got suspicious when Ethan failed to show up for dates or even do a facetime call.  So, these three woman got together and hunted down Ethan.  That's why they wrote the book, to expose him.

But maybe that wasn't such a hot idea, writing the book.  Ethan didn't take any money, so there might not even be a crime here and maybe it's like Cabbie number 2, told Cabbie number 1.  "Don't brag about it."

BTW way back when the Giants lost that game and they didn't cover either. 

And sticking with the NFL, the NY Giants and the NY Jets fans had confetti filled dreams of Super Bowl LIX dancing in their heads.  Well they did until kickoff time this last week.  The Giants got crushed 28 to 6 and the Jets got steamrolled 32 to 19.  It's too early to call the whole season a loss but  neither team looked like it had a clue, as to how to play this game.  Since this is the make or break year for the coaching staff of both teams, that means they all get fired, right before or right after Super Bowl LIX.  Which in turn means a new head coach and staff for next season and a new three year plan.  So just like There Is No Ethan for the star crossed women, there is no Super Bowl Championship for New York Football fans.  Not this year or anytime soon.  There is much moaning, groaning and gnashing of teeth.  Some of that, is coming from us.

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NO!

Mark Zuckerberg was censoring the news on his Facebook Thing A Ma Jig.  He said so.  In his own words.  We're bewildered.  No, not that this great Wunderkind would do such a thing but we're on Facebook and is there news on this thing?  Where?  I see pictures of friends and their families, where they went on vacation and what they're up to on a given day and that's news to us.  But news!  Like in the stuff on the WOWTMSM (What Once Was The Main Stream Media)?  Where?  Of course, The Wunderkind thinks he influenced you.  Did he?  Maybe you shouldn't answer that, as this article will be on the Facebook Thing A Ma Jig and we don't want to hurt the The Wunderkind's feelings, if you all give a resounding NO!

And with all the hoopla surrounding RFK Jr.'s bending of the knee to Donald (HLH), Trump POTUS, HIAH, did anyone stop to think about Nicole Shanahan?  Who you ask?  Well she was RFK Jr.'s Vice Presidential running mate and now, she's nothing.  You didn't even know her name.  Actually, neither did we.  We had to look it up.  But one day she had sugar plum fairies dancing in her head.  Imagining that she would be sitting in the VP's chair waiting for RFK Jr. to get assassinated, as Kennedy's who run for President are known to get.  Then the next day, she gets a one way ticket to Palookaville.  Does anyone care?  Again, maybe it's better to not answer that, as a resounding NO, might hurt her feelings.

BTW RFK Jr. could have been our first Autistic President.  Oh, what might have been!

And back in 2018 Megyn Kelly got fired from NBC.  NBC in case you didn't know was one of the keystones of WOWTMSM.  Supposedly she did something that was politically incorrect but who knows?  These are the same people who had Matt Lauer running around for decades molesting women at their network and they never noticed.  But what did Megyn do?  Did she cry?  Did she go to work for one of those obscure cable networks where you're never heard from again, like Chris Cuomo? 

No, she started her own Podcast!  And the numbers are in.  Last month Megyn's Podcast got 116.8 million views.  Sky News got 87 million views on their site.  CBS News got 83 million views on their site and NBC?  Well they got 78 million views on their site.  Who's laughing now?  And this just goes to show that sometimes NO, might just be like what the guy in the movie 'Cool Hand Luke' said about nothing.  "Sometimes NO! is a real cool hand."

Maybe we'll call her 'Cool Hand Megyn', from now on.

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Idle Thoughts

After the USA women's Basketball team clinched the gold at the 2024 Olympics, a lot of Americans were moved by the sight of Brittany Greiner with her hand over her heart and tears running down her cheeks.  Not so long ago, Britany was caught in Russia with a bag full of Pot and they locked her up.  Diplomatic maneuvering got her out of jail and back to the US of A.  Some people think that she was just glad to be an American and finally appreciated this country.  Other people think, the only thing in her mind was...  'In America you can smoke Pot.  All the Pot you want too.'

Which when you stop to think about it, might be the same thing or close to it.

And sticking with sports in a new book, 'Out Of The Darkness, The Mystery Of Aaron Rodgers.  The book explains that in 2014 Rodgers stopped speaking to his parents.  After one of his worst games Rodgers' then girlfriend Olivia Munn called his parents and in a rant told them never to come to one of his games again!  The Parents did not hear from their son Aaron for the next nine years.  But the book goes on to explain that it wasn't Olivia Munn's fault.  That Aaron Rodgers is the kind of guy that if he thinks you crossed him, you are dead to him.  He never speaks to you again.  So it wasn't Olivia Munn's fault.  It's just the way Aaron Rodgers is.  Boy, are we glad, this book, got that out of the way.

Now if Aaron Rodgers can last longer than the three plays of last year and actually play for the New York Jets.  Jets fans everywhere, will rejoice.

Now Alex Murdaugh might get a new trial.  That's the guy who shot and killed his wife and his son.  He was also the big cheese lawyer in Hampton South Carolina, who robbed his clients.  He got so many years in jail for all the fraud he committed, he'd have to live to a hundred and two, just to do the minimum.  So you might ask why try him on the murder charges again?

Well this could be a case of the original murder trial got such high ratings on the T.V. news, all the other news outlets and so much attention on Tik Tok, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, why not have a sequel?  Of course, the bad guy usually doesn't do much better in the sequel.  See The Mummy Returns where the Mummy gets sent back to hell again, girlfriend in tow.  Or the Godfather II, where all the Corleone enemies, get it, again.  Or the Godfather III, where everybody dies.  Maybe Alex Murdaugh should just say thanks but no thanks.

Like we said these are just idle thoughts.  We're just speculating.  We might be wrong on a few things here.

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