In The News

It was the New York Post that informed us that Katie Holmes, she used to be married to Tom Cruise btw, had chowed down on six chicken nuggets covered with caviar.  That cost her $100, a whole Benjamin!  And she did this at the U.S. Open.  And, we thought, aren't we glad we read this.  That's why she's pictured above.  We figured you'd like it too.

And Robert Mueller, the guy who was in charge of the Russia, Russia, Russia investigation has Parkinson's Disease.  This is news to who?  Anyone who remembers him mumbling through his appearance before Congress when he was explaining his report, knew this one.  Okay, okay maybe not the Parkinson's Diagnosis.  But the fact that the guy's brain wasn't working, was kind of hard to miss.  Come to think of it maybe there was something to this Russia, Russia, Russia thing back 2016.  It just got lost somewhere.

Then there is Charlie Sheen.  He of the Tiger Blood, crack cocaine, King of the escorts and porn stars.  The guy on 'Two and A Half Men' who bedded a never ending bevy of beautiful women.  And no one thought that role was much of a stretch for him.  Well now he has a new memoir, The Book Of Sheen.  In this memoir, Charlie tells how when he was on the crack pipe, he had sex with men.  Does that shock anybody?  Is anyone surprised?  And the big question, will this hurt his career?  We mean as an escort maven.  Not as an actor or a crack pipe aficionado.  Only time will tell.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

Last

Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift are engaged!  Or should we say Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are engaged!  We're not sure who gets top billing.  And they said it wouldn't last.  Actually we said it too but we've already established in previous articles that we, can be wrong.  We stand in contrast to all the rest of the players in the Journalism Matrix.  So, it's no big deal.

And we wish Travis and Taylor all the best.  Just a piece of advice though, don't become T&T or Swift-Kel or some other combination of your names.  That's a recipe for disaster.  Just ask Brangelina or J-rod.

And Cracker Barrel decided to change its famous Logo.  They decided to take the old guy Uncle Herschel and the Barrels off.  Why?  "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?"  The taking of Uncle Herschel off, was obviously ageism.  But the Barrels?  Kind of not too bright if the name of your Restaurant is Cracker Barrel.  Well their customers and fans revolted.  Worse than that their stock dropped like a rock.  Then came the kiss of death.  Donald John Trump 45th & 47th POTUS said they should make a U turn and bring back the Barrels and Uncle Herschel.  Faster than you could say Uncle Herschel, the U-turn was made and the old Logo was back.  Some things are just made to last.

Reacting to the fact that crime in D.C. has dropped precipitously while Chicago seems mired in a never ending crime wave, Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson proclaimed.  "We cannot incarcerate our way out of violence."  That sounds like a campaign slogan, if we ever heard one.  Let's see how long he lasts with that one.

Then there are the Colorado Rockies in the National League West Division.  They are 38 and 96.  That is 38 wins and 96 losses.  They are 39 games behind the Division leading Dodgers.  They are 28.5 games behind the next worse team in their division the Diamondbacks.  As they only have 28 games left in their season, they have no chance of ever catching those Diamondbacks.  And, that is what we call, coming in last.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

* Walter B. Gibson, from the radio show The Shadow

Who'd A Thunk It?

James Comey former Director of the FBI or as we like to call him, J. Edgar Comey, is facing an investigation by Congress and he might even be a subject in a Grand Jury proceeding.  But he's unbowed and defiant.  He finds solace and strength in...  No, not what you're thinking, as that was what we were thinking, Jesus.  No, no, he finds strength and solace in Taylor Swift and her music.  We're not sure but maybe it's the lyric.  "We are never ever getting back together."  Or it could be.  "Look what you made me do."

We're sure she's flattered.  And, we hate to be the ones who tell J. Edgar Comey this but...  You're no Travis Kelce!  Hell, he's not even J. Edgar Hoover.  No one ever dared, to investigate, J. Edgar Hoover.

And Hillary Clinton, HerHillaryness herself, has said that Donald John Trump POTUS 45 & 47 should be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, if he can arrange a peace treaty between Ukraine and Russia.  We're trying to find out if anyone ever called for Hitler to be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.  Hitler was Time Magazine's Man of the Year in 1938, so that might not be so far fetched as it may sound.  So far as we know, Hitler was never nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize but someone prominent, like HerHillaryess in that time period, might have called for it.  Why would someone have done that you ask?  Well something like Hitler called off the invasion of England for one.  Then when he withdrew his troops from North Africa.  Now we can't find where anyone like HerHillaryness mentioned Hitler for the Nobel Peace Prize, but if anyone out there can, please let us know.

Are you delulu?  Odds are if you are, you don't know it, as it means delusional.  Now this could be skibidi which means bad or cool or nothing.  All of this we hope makes you insopo, which is inspired to go and do something because of something you saw on the internet, like this article.  What are we talking about?  Well these are all new words entered into the Cambridge Dictionary.  These words come from Tik Tok, other social media and the internet.  And these words, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, are changing our world.

Now some people are stunned that the Cambridge Dictionary would put such silly words in their tome when no one will even remember them by next spring.  The Cambridge Dictionary is produced by Cambridge University founded in 1209 and it is one of the oldest and most revered Universities in the world.  How could they do such a thing!  Well we think, the whiners and complainers here are just skibidi or maybe even delulu.  They are most definitely not insopo.

Diciens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

A Hill To Die On

We keep hearing and reading this phrase "that's a hill to die on".  Now we are used to political speech being filled with hyperbole and meaningless verbiage and one of our all time favorites will always be "a thousand points of light".  But this "hill to die on" thing, really has us confused.  We get the idea.  A place to make a last stand.  And it sounds like it's trying to be a historical reference too but what hill?  There was Bunker Hill which was actually Breed's Hill but a lot of the Colonials retreated.  They didn't all die up there.  Was Custer on a hill at the Little Big Horn?  Was the Alamo on a hill?  Do they mean San Juan Hill which was actually Kettle's Hill?  Teddy Roosevelt and his Rough Riders took that hill.  So, where is this hill?  We mean if you're going to die somewhere, you might want to know.  We want to know too.

And the Jeffrey Epstein story has become "a nothingburger", according to Harry Enten, a data analyst for CNN.  Now we don't believe CNN or any of the WOWTMSM, especially when they give us numbers.  But according to this Enten guy, these numbers are from Google searches.  Not some fake group of people they supposedly called on the phone, who think exactly as CNN wants them to.  Nor are they numbers from the government, which can be changed whenever anyone wants them to.  No, this came from Google searches, which could be faked once anyone begins to use them too often.  But for right now, the Google searches on Jeffrey Epstein have fallen by 89%.  Not too many people are much interested in him anymore.

It could be, because we pointed out that the government convicted him and Ghislaine Maxwell, without ever mentioning a client, so why would his files still have any of those names?  Or it could be as we pointed out, that even if those names became public, so a few meaningless, narcissistic nitwits would fall from various screens we look at.  Soon to be replaced by another group and BFD.  So it could be our observations, that put this story to bed.  So with that in mind, we have two more.

One, that Epstein was blackmailing powerful and famous people.  Fugettaboutitt!  Try it yourself and see what happens to you.  Only beat up, if you're lucky.  But the more obvious pin to that balloon is, would anyone keep hanging around with him? Would you?  We mean after you beat the bleep out of hm.  Epstein would have been the loneliest guy on the planet.  Even Ghislaine, would have left him.  Who wants to be the only guest at the party?

Two, you have to live in New York City to know this one and you have to have a sharp eye because you could miss this, if you walk by too fast.  But you can see it in the picture above, if you look closely.  The  Metropolitan Correctional Center where Epstein died, is on a hill.  So in spite of, or because of, the cameras not working, the guards falling asleep, Jeffrey Epstein found his hill to die on.  Even if he didn't want to.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

Who Would You Hire?

Sydney Sweeney pictured above, has made a commercial for American Eagle Jeans.  We've watched it five times.  Hey, we have to do research.  But we can't seem to find any inferences to the Nazis or the head Nazi, Adolph Hitler.  And since references to Nazis and the head Nazi Adolph Hitler, seem to pop up on almost a daily basis, we thought it was high time for a Hitler quiz.  We mean if you are going to compare A to B, you need to know what B is, otherwise your comparison is what?  So without further ado.

Question 1.  What High School did Adolph Hitler graduate from?

A. Vienna High School of the Arts.

B. Braunau am Inn High School.

C. Braunau am Inn Reformatory School.

D. Hitler never graduated from High School.

Question 2.  Before Hitler was Der Fuhrer what was his occupation?

A. Hitler was a Dentist who didn't use Novocaine.  He liked to watch his patients squirm.

B. Hitler never had an occupation.  He lived in a Shelter.  He was a homeless, day laborer.

C. Hitler was a Shoe Maker.

D. Hitler was a Journalist and part of the fake news media of his day.

Question 3.  Who was Geli Raubal

A. She was Hitler's niece.

B.  She was Hitler's girlfriend.

C. She was Hitler's niece and his girlfriend.

Question 4.  Hitler's ability to become Der Fuhrer, design economic policy for Germany, chart foreign policy, design military campaigns and run the entire government of Germany, came from his experience as...

A. His tenure at Konigliche Preubische Kriegsakademie.  Germany's West Point.

B. His experience as a day laborer and homeless guy, who lived in a Shelter.

C. His military experience.  He was a Corporal in WWI.

D. Damned if we know.

Answers.

1. D.  Hitler was a dropout.

2. B.  Hitler was a homeless guy who lived in a Shelter.  The only work he got was as a day laborer.

3.  A. B. and C.  We like to make one question real easy and Geli was Hitler's niece and his girlfriend, so no matter what you picked, you got it right.

4. D.  Damned if we know.  We hate to put a big pin in the balloon that has Hitler as the Evil Genius and the face of Evil but based on his resume, before he was the Fuhrer of course, we have to ask you one question.  Would you hire this guy?  Not as Der Fuhrer but like, as anything?  Our own theory is Hitler was a guy who could speak extemporaneously for quite awhile, without notes or index cards.  Just like a lot of would be Hollyweird stars, who wait tables, while hoping for the big break.  Or one of the Housewives of New York, Beverly Hills or wherever you like.  We kind of think of Hitler, as the first Housewife of Munich.  Nothing else, makes any sense.

But back to Sydney Sweeney.  She's an Actress with an impressive resume.  She's been in some big productions like 'The Handmaid's Tale', 'Euphoria' and 'Once Upon A Time In Hollywood'. She's also a producer.  She's way more qualified to be hired for a job, any job, than Adolf Hitler.  In short, there's no comparison here.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

Sorry?

We were feeling sorry for Jerome Powell the Chairman of the Federal Reserve because DJT, POTUS 45 & 47 thinks Powell is a "stupid person" and talking to him "is like talking to a chair.  There's nothing there."  And a whole lot of people want Powell to resign.  He is definitely not going to be reinstated when his term is up next spring.  If that wasn't bad enough, he was last seen shuffling along like an old homeless guy that DJT, POTUS 45 & 47 and Senator Tim Scott had picked up along the way, as they reviewed the new Federal Reserve Building.  A building whose construction has gone way overboard.  A building Chairman Powell will never sit in.  And the building's construction is so over budget that a criminal referral was sent to the DOJ about it.  Fed Chairman Powell could have some 'splaining to do. 

Yeah we were feeling sorry for the old guy till we did a little research and found out he's worth 55 million dollars!  Do we feel sorry for him now?  Fugettaaboutitt!

And Ghislaine Maxwell is now talking to Deputy Attorney General of the Department of Justice, Todd Blanche!  Why?  Well she's doing 20 years for sex trafficking underage girls and she wants out of prison.  Most everyone in those places wants the same thing.  So why is this high ranking Deputy Attorney General talking to her?  Well, she can name, names.  She knows who she sent the little girls to go see.  This is something that Kash Patel, Dan Bongino, Pam Bondi and the rest of the FBI and DOJ haven't got a clue about.  She was always happy to tell the DOJ, it's just that no one ever asked before.

Do we feel sorry for Ghislaine Maxwell?  Not hardly.

And poor Dan Bongino.  In the course of his investigations he has uncovered such a shocking truth that it has "shocked him down to his core" and "he will never be the same."  Most of the country believes that the government played some role in the assassination of President Kennedy, so it has to be bigger than that.  We have our money on LBJ by the way.  And since Dan Bongino is the Deputy Director of the FBI now, he probably knows who was shooting from the Grassy Knoll.  So what could these scandals ever be?

BTW we all thought Bongino was a tough guy.  Tough guys can handle anything.  They don't get shaken to their core.  We're not sure what is going to be more shocking to us, getting the details on these scandals or us realizing that Dan Bongino, is a wuss.

Do we feel sorry for Dan Bongino?  Well, maybe a little.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

Nobody

CBS has cancelled the Colbert Show!  There are all kinds of conspiracy theories surrounding this and there is much gnashing of teeth in certain quarters.  But CBS says The Colbert Show is losing 40 million dollars a year!  OMG!  And that is why they are cancelling the show.  

And people in certain quarters, who are gnashing their teeth, are bemoaning this cancellation as it just might be a harbinger of things to come for the other late night talk shows.  The old slippery slop thing.  With good reason too, as Colbert ironically, is the highest rated of the broadcast, late night, talk shows.  So you can imagine how much the other shows are losing.  Imagine that!  Corporations not wanting to lose 40 million a year?  "Oh, the humanity!"*

We have a sneaky suspicion that the names of the Late Night TV show hosts will be a category on Jeopardy a decade from now and none of the contestants will get anything in that category right.  Nobody will remember or care.

And they are picking on Harry and Meghan again.  No, not 'South Park'.  Now it's 'Family Guy', another animated series.  Why?  Meghan and Harry are not doing anything.  And, we sort of get the Royal Family back in Great Britain.  They represent the country, the culture.  They serve a purpose.  But Meghan and Harry?  What do they do?  They are sort of like the lilies of the field.  "They toil not, neither do they spin"**.  Well maybe not quite the lilies of the field but you get the picture.  They're not doing much.

Seth MacFarlane is the guy who runs 'Family Guy' and we sort of get it, as Harry and Meghan were almost somebody, but now?

And Hunter Biden went on a F bomb fueled rant on X, where he bemoaned the illegal immigrants being deported to El Salvador.  He says if he's elected President, he'll demand they are all are brought back.  We didn't know he was running.  Maybe that should have been the headline instead of all the F bombs.  But if El Salvador refuses to send back the illegal immigrants, he'll invade El Salvador to get them back.  That's when he's President of course.

But maybe what he's really upset about is no one buys his paintings anymore.  And with his father's pardon in hand, no one even investigates him anymore.  No one even talks about his Laptop anymore.  He's a nobody.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

*That is a quote from Herbert Morrison reporting the Hindenburg disaster.

** Matthew 6:27