Election Analysis

Now the analysis will come pouring in from all the Know It All's, The Cognoscenti Of The Known World and all the Talking Heads.  There is the Glass Ceiling crowd.  Kamala is a woman and the country is not ready for a woman President.  Then there is the skin color crowd.  Kamala is a black woman and the country is not ready for a black woman to be President.  But then her mother's family came from India and her father's family came from Jamaica.  That's the island nation not that part of the Borough of Queens, NYC, where most of our staff  and President elect Donald John Trump HLH, HIAH, come from.  So maybe it's the country isn't ready for a East/West Indian woman to be President?  

And yes, most people from Jamaica are black and her father was black.  But the black connotation from the Know It All's, The Cognoscenti Of The Known World and The Talking Heads, usually means the individual was descended from slaves or at the very least their family was dead, broke, poor.  And Kamala?  Well her father's family weren't slaves.  They owned slaves.  So, maybe it's that America isn't ready for a Scarlett O'Hara, to be President.

Of course we're pretty sure that speculation from our last article was correct.  It all came down to...  Who actually made the French Fries.

Now of course there were other contests all over the country and as we mentioned before, some of the worst people in America are those who run for office.  We site as proof, all the ads we've all been inundated with for the last few weeks, months or has it been eons?  But no matter how you voted or who you voted for whether you liked them, loved them, hated them or just looked on with disdain, everyone should be happy today because at least half of them are gone.  You won't hear from them again, at least for awhile.  Maybe never.  And, it might be more than half, as some races have more than one candidate.  And, as we pointed out, sometimes candidates die and yet their name is still on the ballot.  Sometimes, they even get elected.  So, it may be more than half.  Maybe we should declare a holiday?  What to call it?  Hangover Day?  Bye Bye Miss American Pie Day?  Or maybe Elvis Has Left The Building Day?  Or just E Day for short.  Everyone will know what it means.

If we can get serious for a moment.  No matter who won, who lost, we think most modern day politicians are just actors mouthing focus group tested, talking points.  Maybe we're wrong.  Maybe some of them actually care about you and some may even love their country.  We kind of doubt this, as none of them seem to have ever done anything except run for office.  The list of real American heroes is long and lengthy but consider just one guy for a moment, General and President Dwight David Eisenhower.  Now compare his life story, to the people running nowadays.  

But regardless of how you feel, none of the modern day characters are worth fighting over with the real people in your life.  You know, your friends, your family, the people you really care about and the ones, who really care about you.

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Memorable Quotes

A whole lot of people were all holy hell angry as the video of Sinwar in the tunnel the day before the October 7 attack on Israel, showed his wife with a Birkin bag.  Now for those of you who don't understand the Birkin Hermes bag like the one Mrs. Sinwar had, sells for 32 grand.  And, what is the wife of the leader of the Hamass's, who is supposed to be down with the oppressed people, doing with a 32 thousand dollar accoutrement.

Well we made a few phone calls and according to Samr Abu Zamer, that's Sinwar's wife, the bag is a knock off.  She got it in Turkey for about 250 euros.  And according to her, there was about 500 thousand in euros, shekels and diamonds in the Birkin.  Along with six different passports, for every one in their entourage.  The Birkin was very heavy and when she was trying to get her AK47 over her shoulder while holding on to the Birkin, her husband could see she was having a really tough time.  So he told her.  "Leave the gun.  Take the Birkin."

And, in the past The Know It Alls, The Cognoscenti Of The Known World and the Talking Heads would look at the upcoming Presidential election and then they'd make their pronouncements.  Things like "Reagan just looks Presidential".  Or after perusing the map they would decide how each state was going to vote and proclaim.  "It all comes down to Ohio."  As if the rest of the country didn't count.  Everyone except the people in Ohio, could just stay home.

Well during this latest bruhaha Kamala claimed to have worked at McDonald's.  Most of us had these types of jobs starting out in life.  These were never the kinds of jobs rich entitled kids, would ever do.  So, Kamala who worked at McDonald's was just like you and me, get it.  But we live in the age of computers.  Everything is on record, like who was on the payroll and someone at McDonald's looked it up.  She never worked there.

Donald J Trump Former President, HLH, HIAH promptly went to work at McDonald's, making French fries and serving customers in the Dive by.  He only stayed 15 minutes but then he announced.  "I have now worked at McDonald's longer than Kamala."

And we're wondering if this election will come down to.  Who made the French Fries.

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What Do You Think?

According to the latest Gallup Poll the American people's trust in What Once Was The Main Stream Media is at an all time low of 31%.  This is even lower than it's previous lowest back 2016, when it was 32%.  The only problem here is, The Gallup Organization that produces the Gallup Polls, has been around since 1935.  So, it's as much a part of What Once Was The Mainstream Media as any other entity.  So should we believe this poll?  Could it be wrong?  Maybe the trust number is higher?  Maybe it's lower?  Would they lie to us?  What do you think? 

And Yahya Sinwar is dead.  The result of trying to shoot it out with the Israeli defense forces.  From the pictures it looks like a bullet went into the lower part of his head and came out the top.  We wonder what his last thoughts were.  Maybe they were.  "Oh goodie I'm getting 72 virgins."  Or were they.  "These AK47s look tough and everyone says they're great but it doesn't seem like I can hit anything that's more than 70 meters away.  Oh beep."  What do you think?

And Kamala Harris was either ambushed by a misogynist Bret Baier and she courageously held her own.  Or she was an incoherent, babbling mess, who didn't answer any of the questions and could only keep repeating.  "Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump."  Or was it just that the optics were bad?

Now it turns out that Martha Stewart, you know the lady who tells you how to cook, fold your napkins and the proper way to use toilet paper, had an affair.  This was back in the day when she was married.  Her husband never knew.  Or so she thinks.  He's passed away.  We hate to end this column on thoughts of Martha Stewart and sex.  It's kind of a bummer.  Not that she's unattractive, attractive is in the eye of the beholder.  Just that we can imagine, that right in the middle of something, she might say.  "That's not how you..."

But she admitted to this affair after telling young women.  "If you husband starts cheating he's a piece of bleep."  So is this a case of do as I say not as I do?  The old double standard?  Or was this a Freudian slip?  What do you think?

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Things We Or You, Didn't Know

There's an old expression about how you really can't understand someone, unless you walk a mile in their shoes.  That comes to mind, as every once in a while we become aware of something that we didn't really know.  Like the food in prison is bad.  Most of us have never been in prison, so how would we know?  But now, thanks to Mark Agnifilo, P. Diddy's lawyer, we know.  It's P. Diddy's major lament.  The food is bad.  We'll bet you thought his major problem was no "freak offs", no drugs and no baby oil.  Anyone want to grab a sign and protest?  We didn't think so.

And the Polls, the political Polls are close.  But you already knew that.  But then they are always close.  Doesn't matter which election or what candidates or what office.  The Polls, are always close, at least in this century.  Bet you didn't know that?  You could look it up.  The only exception in this century, was Hillary Clinton.  She was always leading in the Polls, especially the Presidential Polls.  Even when she wasn't running.

And here comes the Robotaxi and the Robovan or so says Elon.  Do we really need to use his last name anymore?  Elon says they'll be operational by 2026.  It will only cost 20 cents a mile for you and only 5 cents a mile to operate.  And you won't have to worry if your driver is a serial killer or some other kind of miscreant, as there won't be a driver.  These cars will be completely autonomous.  Of course, they'll be all electric.  This is Elon.  This is Tesla.  And BTW, they will be recharged by induction, whatever that is.  But no one will have to plug anything in.  Of course Elon had said he'd have robocars out and running around by 2020 and they're not here as yet...  But we'll bet you didn't know about any of this.  Maybe you did but we didn't.

Oh that's Jimmy Cagney at the top of the column.  He's playing Cody Jarrett in the classic film 'White Heat'.  Cody is in prison here and he's eating dinner.  As you can see, he doesn't like the food either.

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Help Wanted

If you go to the 'Do We Have Careers For You!' website, you will find some really great opportunities like these....

Wanted: Leader of Terrorist Gang.  Looking for a take charge individual who can work independently.  Must have executive experience.  Can start immediately.  7 figure salary.  Set your own hours.  Possible 72 Virgins in the offing.  Please mail in your resume to us.  All of hiring Client's computers, cell phones, walkie talkies and pagers are presently offline.

Wanted; Experienced Sand Hog aka tunnel digger.  Needed for job in NYC, details upon acceptance.  Must have experience working in and around sewers and other big city encumbrances.  If you dug the tunnels in Gaza, Southern Lebanon or Mexico helping El Chapo escape, it will be a huge plus.  Client's chance for bail or acquittal almost non-existent.  50 million dollars on the table.  Send your IP address here.  All information will be kept strictly confidential.  Attorney client privilege in effect.

Wanted: Family, minimum 2 kids, 3 is a plus.  To pose for pictures and appear at events.  Single Moms or intact family, so long as Dad doesn't mind not being in the pictures or doesn't mind staying in the car at the events.  Short gig, no more than 4weeks.  5 figures, possible 6, depending on what happens on November 5th.

Wanted: Mayor, Deputy Mayor, Commissioner and a lot of assistants.  Multiple opportunities here, as the vacancies are mounting by the day.  No experience necessary.  Applicants should not be facing indictments or be the subject of a current Federal, State or City investigation.  6 figure salaries.  Nice office, official cars and police escorts wherever you go, especially if like your predecessors, you're being escorted away.

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R.I.C.O.

R.I.C.O.  Racketeer, Influenced, Corrupt, Organization.  That is what P. Diddy, Diddy, Puff Daddy, Puffy Daddy, Love, aka Sean Combs, is indicted for being in charge of.  It's not a single crime or even a bunch of crimes but it's running an organization that consistently commits crimes.  It's what they got John Gotti on, for running the Gambino crime family.  And according to the Attorney General' of the Southern District of the United States of America, P. Diddy, Diddy, Puff Daddy, Puffy Daddy, Love aka Sean Comb's organization, was doing that, for decades.  The Attorney General of the Southern District also said, it was a well oiled machine.

For people wondering how he got away with it for so long, we consulted with our legal experts and they explained that in order for the government to proceed with a case like this, they would need a complainant.  There was no dead body or other third party evidence of a crime.  That complainant turned out to be one Cassie Ventura, ex-girlfriend, ex-protege, ex-victim.  The reason there was no one before her, is P. Diddy etcetera, etcetera was able to make or break people in the music industry and so was able to prey on them as well.

But with Cassie on board, the Feds were able to get a search warrant and raid his homes.  They caught him with his pants down.  There were automatic weapons with the serial numbers scrapped off and drugs, lots of drugs, illegal drugs.  Our legal experts tell us, the drug and gun charges alone, will get him 20 years.  But the piece de resistance, is the video  recordings his "freak offs", parties where some participants were drugged, coerced and even forced to have sex,  Then there was the 1,000 bottles of baby oil and sex lube.  We told you, this was a well oiled machine.

P. Diddy etcetera, etcetera, was at the top of the music business and a major celebrity, who hob knobbed with just about every other celebrity, actor, singer, and politician of his day.  So naturally everyone begins to wonder with a certain amount of glee, just who was in those "freak offs" and caught on video?  Whose career will hit the skids, as they are seen in flagrante delicto?

Well don't hold your breath.  Those things never seem to materialize.  And in this case, the only recordings needed for the trial will be those with the cooperating witnesses.  There's no need for anyone to see any of the others.  But even if they are somehow leaked and the celebrity, actors, singers, politicians and even Preachers are all caught in flagrante delicto and they all, fall like dominoes... They'll just be replaced by another group of celebrities, actors, singers, politicians and even Preachers almost over night.  It's like we have a mill, that produces pretty but silly, mostly empty headed, people, who entertain us and then exit stage left or right.  It's a celebrity, actor, singer, politician and even Preacher mill.  And, it's a well oiled machine.

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State of the Union

Vice President Kamala Harris was overheard mumbling.  "Why doesn't anyone want to shoot me?  Should I do a few interviews?  A press conference?"

Neighbors describe the latest would be assassin as "a cuckoo" and "a lot of people were afraid of him".  This breaks with the usual description of "nice guy, quiet guy" that we get when the neighbors are quizzed about the gunman, who shoots or tries to shoot himself into the headlines in a blaze of blood and glory.

This guy's name is Ryan Wesley Routh and we know a lot of you are wondering, why was he taken alive?

The question now becomes who does Ryan Wesley Routh remind us of most?  John Wilkes Booth?  Charles J. Guiteau?  Leon Czolgosz?  Lee Harvey Oswald?  Or was Ryan Wesley Routh, supposed to be the guy on the grassy knoll and something went, woefully wrong?

Ryan Wesley Routh was waiting for Trump at the 5th hole.  Is there some significance to the number 5 or is it just that there's a bathroom at the 5th?  Routh had his own Sniper's nest there , complete with a SKS 47 rifle, a bullet proof vest, some food and and video recorder, just no bathroom.

Congress will hold hearings.  They will grill people.  They will get angry for all the news shows and the podcasts.  They will find...

A. A viable conspiracy

B. Links to some shadowy government agency, no one has ever heard of before

C. Links to agencies we know like the CIA and the FBI.  You know, the usual suspects.

D. Links to someone like Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates or Nancy Pelosi.

E.  They find nothing.

We're betting on E, nothing, as usual.

Such is the State of the Union.

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