Biblical?

People are saying that the wildfires in L.A. are biblical.  Well, they are certainly biblical in their force and destruction.  But are people saying and we're wondering...   We mean why would anyone, let alone you know who?  Be mad enough at L.A., to bun it down?

And there is no water.  We mean when we first saw the fires we were wondering and we're sure you were too, that since water puts out fire, why don't they put the fires out?  Maybe not an oil fire but a forest fire like these, well water puts those out for sure.  But it turns out they don't have water or enough water.  So who's fault is that?  Certainly not you know who?

And the Mayor of L.A. Karen Bass when confronted by reporters just went dumb.  Something, we don't think we've ever see a politician of any kind, ever, do.  She just stood there unable to answer the obvious questions and unable to utter a sound of any kind.   But she did not turn into a pillar of salt.  And, even though she had just flown back from Africa, we're pretty sure she had looked back at L.A. by that point.

So on the biblical question, we're kind of thinking, naah.

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Lost And Found

Two men searching for Sasquatch deep in the woods of Washington State went missing and later, were found dead.  Authorities say they died of exposure, as they probably got lost and succumbed to the elements.  We can't help but wonder, if maybe, Sasquatch, found them first.

And the tension mounted as the votes rolled in and that question was, will Speaker of the House Mike Johnson keep his job?  Of course he found a few votes and got the Speakership but according to Mass Hysteria, the tension was real.  But this is nothing like you or anyone else you know, ever, losing their job.  You know trying to figure out how to pay the bills, keep a roof over your head and food on the table.  No, Mike Johnson, if had he lost his job as Speaker, would still be a member of the House from 4th District of Louisiana.  And better still, draw a salary and of course keep his net worth.  And that net worth is...  Drum roll please, 6 million dollars!  

So bad as he might feel, he could go home and just look at his bank account.  Oh wait, Mike Johnson says he doesn't have a bank account.  No, according to him his salary and all his money, goes to his wife.  That begs the question, how much is she worth?  And the answer is...  Another drum roll please, 10 million dollars!  So, even if he lost his job as Speaker, this would have been, 'don't cry for me Louisiana, the truth is, I got 16 million dollars and I would never leave you'.*  And that is especially apropos, as a lot of the Johnson's millions, are tied up in real estate, Louisiana real estate.

And Rapper 2 Low, what you never heard of him?  Well he's a Rap artist and as you know it helps if you're a Gangsta while being a Rap artist and all Gangsta's have to have guns.  This goes back, way back to Little Ricco.  So he's getting interviewed on a Podcast and his gun goes off.  It's in his pants.  Lucky for him it only shot a hole in his pocket so he's still 2 Low not 1 or 0 Low.  The whole scene plays as a good advertisement for Gun Safety lessons.  But sometimes when you don't lose something, it's as good as if, you found something.

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* With apologies to Andrew Llyod Webber and Tim Rice

Random Thoughts

Now Blake Lively, actress is suing her former co-star and Director Jason Baldoni for sexual harassment.  Seems he sexually harassed her on the set of their movie 'It Ends With Us'.  Guess the lawsuit is where it is actually going to "End With Us".  But she claims he not only sexually harassed her but cast aspersions about her character, hurting her career, causing pain and suffering to her and her family.  We're a little bewildered here because isn't she married to the Deadpool guy, Ryan Reynolds?  Why didn't she just have the Deadpool guy beat this Jason Baldoni up?  What's a lawsuit going to do?  Give her money?  She's already got money.  C'mon Ryan Deadpool guy, go get that guy.

And the Congress got together under the umpteenth threat of Closing the Government, God forbid and passed a spending bill.  Like wow, we're all supposed to be thankful.  Sort of like getting presents on Christmas morning.  Now what would happen if they actually closed the Government?  Well the friends of the millionaires club also known as our Congress, wouldn't get paid.  OMG!  No, that would be double OMG or OMG!! which as readers of this column know, is the absolute end of it all.  An actual closing of the Government might last ten minutes or maybe a New York minute.  So, the next time they threaten this, don't get all excited because it ain't gonna, ever, happen.

And, what happened to the Drones?  For weeks before Christmas the Mass Hysteria was full of stories about The Drones, The Drones.  The Drones filling the skies over New Jersey, New York and even DJT's golf course and then...  Nothing, Nada, Zlich.  Where did they go?  And we're not sure which disappeared, The Drones or the stories about The Drones.  Either way, are we safe now?

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Mendacity

Would you give 15 million dollars to someone who was "liable for rape"?  Of course you don't have 15 million dollars but let's say you're some rich S.O.B. who has quite a few billion?  No!  You you would stand on principle.  Good for you.  

BTW why would anyone pay a rapist?  How would the victim feel?  Like she was raped again.  Right?  Well looks like you're not ABC news or George Stephanopoulos.  Because they did just that.  ABC just agreed to pay 15 million to Former and Future President of the United States DJT's Presidential library.  They also threw in another million for his lawyers.  All because George Stephanopoulos kept saying DJT was "liable for rape" when that, just wasn't true.  BTW, ABC and Stephanopoulos have got to be wondering why they have to pay for saying something that wasn't true.  And, at this point can we say...  The truth hurts.

And as the skies over New Jersey and New York fill with not Christmas lights but those of unknown origin Drones, all manner of culprits have been assigned to their source.  It's Iran, the Hamasses, the Hezbollalas or even the evil empire themselves, the Russians!  But we kind of doubt it's any of them, as the Hamassess are going extinct, the Hezbollalas are running for cover, Iran sold all it's Drones to the Russians and the Russians are stuck in the mud.  Our Federal Government claims they don't know but it's nothing to worry about.  No one believes them, not even other politicians.  Which if we stop to think about it, is kind of refreshing for a change.  But before this turns into another Covid miss information saga or gets labeled Dronegate, let us say we think the Drones are ours.  The Drones have the good ole U.S. of A. stamped all over them.  Nothing else makes sense, not even Aliens.  So now you ask why would the Government lie?  Very simple, it's what they do.

And CNN got caught with their pants down.  Seems they interviewed a supposed prisoner held by Assad in Syria.  It turned out out that he wasn't  an actual prisoner but rather a brutal prison guard.  We're not saying the whole scene played out like a bad segment of Jerry Springer, Real Housewives or some other not quite, Reality Show but a whole lot of other people are saying so.  CNN is claiming they were duped.  This would be really bad for CNN, a really big blow to their status and credibility except, well...  No one watches them anymore.  

Mendacity definition: untruthfulness, lying

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Getting There

We've all seen the MVP of the World Series, the Superbowl or other championships, standing amid confetti or sprouting champagne, trophy in hand, smiling broadly and saying. "I'm going to Disneyland!"  The season ended in final victory and Disneyland is the cherry on top of the sundae or the icing on the cake.  We'll for Bashar al-Assad it's not Disneyland, it's Moscow.  Now Bashar did not  look right into the camera, as he got off the plane there but he was smiling just as broadly as Patrick Mahomes or Freddie Freeman.  Bashar is still upright, still breathing and still above room temperature.  For a Middle Eastern despot who has been deposed, that's just as good as winning a World's Championship and going to Disneyland.

For Donald John Trump HLH, HIAH, Former, Future and some seem to think, current President of the United States, it's the White House.  He actually lives pretty near Disneyland, so he could just go there anytime he wanted.  But what he wanted was The White House.  And he's got it, in spite of being impeached twice, indicted 90 something times, convicted 34 times and shot.  We don't expect him to look into the camera and say.  "I'm going to the White House." as everyone already knows it.

For the Islamic Rebels who've just taken over Damascus, they say their next stop is Jerusalem.  We're kind of thinking, they might have a better shot at Disneyland.  If they're not on a no fly list, as yet.  Then again, maybe they have a better shot at Moscow or Tehran.

And this last Sunday, The New York Jets once again snatched defeat out of the jaws of victory.  The New York Giants just lost ignominiously.  The fans of both teams may well be gnashing their teeth.  Some of them are on staff here and they are.  But the more savvy among the fans are keeping their eyes on the prize.  With the season for both teams firmly in the toilet, the savvy amongst us know that wins are impediments right now.  The goal is getting the first pick in the 2025 draft or as close to it as possible.  That will put them on the path to the Superbowl, at some imagined point up ahead.  Right now, the Jets have 3 wins and the Giants only 2.  The only team in their path are the Raiders with only 2 wins.  So the goal here is to play out the string, loose them all and hope the Raiders win 1 or even 2 more games.  Now some of you are saying that's no way to play football!  But remember, the object is getting there and there, is the Superbowl.  Hopefully, before the decade is out.  Sort of like the goal of getting to the Moon was, back in the 1960's.

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Man of the Year 2024 Joe Biden POTUS

Now some of you are snickering and some of you are laughing.  Some of you are just going what?  But just answer a few questions first.  One, how many of you know an Octogenarian who has a job, any job much less an executive one?  Two, how many of you know an Octogenarian who is senile, mangles words, can't string more than a few coherent sentences together and is still has that job?  And again, an executive one?  And last, how many octogenarians or anyone at any age who has everyone on his team telling them it's all over and yet, they still remain in that job.  Not only is this senile 81 year old, still at that executive position, that position is Leader of the Free World, the most powerful man in the world, the POTUS, President of the United States.

Never in the annals of American history has anyone so old, so infirm and so unable, ever been, The President of the United States.  Joe Biden, is Rocky, going the distance.  He's Emilia Earhart, in that his mind is missing, never to be found again.  He's Alfred E. Neumann and for those of you who don't know the reference, Alfred E. Neumann was a cartoon character who adorned the cover of a comic Mad Magazine.  And no matter what happened in the world, his mantra was.  "What Me Worry?"  Joe Biden seemed to be echoing that sentiment, as nothing fazed him.  Not the Covid, which he got multiple times.  Not ,high inflation.  Not, the price of gas.  Not, the war in Ukraine or the one in Gaza.  No, no  matter what happened, Joe Biden just stood there munching on his ice cream cone, unruffled, unfazed, his countenance seeming to say, no matter what you got, I'm enjoying this ice cream cone.  His signature statement made to Donald Trump during their 2020 debates of "C'mon man!" seamlessly morphed into.  "What Me Worry?"  All of which makes him unique in the annals of the American Presidency and American history.  And, all of which makes him our, 2024 Man Of The Year.

Still laughing?

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Man, Woman Or Whatever You Prefer Of The Year 2024

First the runner ups.

1, Donald John Trump 45th POTUS, HLH, (He's Like Hitler) HIAH (He Is A Hero), current President-Elect.  DJT got impeached twice while President.  He lost the 2020 election.  He got indicted.  He got convicted.  He got shot.  He should be our Man of the Year but then incumbent Grover Cleveland lost an election and won the next one.  Andrew Johnson and Bill Clinton both got impeached.  Bill Clinton also got convicted.  And, Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, Teddy Roosevelt, JFK and Reagan all got shot too.  So, while in the aggregate DJT, is unique, all of the elements have been done before.  It was close but no cigar.

 2, Elon Musk.  He's got Spaceships, Space X.  He's got TESLA.  He bought Twitter now X.Com.  He's creating Nura-link.  In a sane world, he'd be our Man of the Year but then we don't live in a sane world.  Sorry, Elon,

3, Megyn Kelly.  Her rise from the ashes was duly noted on our site.  She was fired by NBC and sent off to the cornfields or so NBC thought.  Undaunted and unbowed Megyn created her own Podcast and now her audience dwarfs whatever is on NBC in the time slot she used to inhabit.  Maybe NBC was the cornfield.  They just didn't know it.

4, Taylor Swift.  She'll be on a whole lot of lists for Person Of The Year but she's not here.  Not even as a runner up.  We just threw her name up here to catch your attention.  Sort of like everyone else.

5, The BMind Smart Mirror.  Since we usually explain that it is Man of the Year if it is a man, Woman of the Year if it's a woman and whatever the winner wants to be designated as.  This seems like a good time to explain that this runner up would be the Thing A Ma Jig of the Year.  You look in this BMind Smart Mirror and with it's AI brain, it tells you, your mental status.  This could be really good.  Then again, how many of us really want to know our mental status?

Tune in next week for our 2024 Man, Woman, Whatever You Prefer or Thing A Ma Jig of the Year.

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