The End of the Road?

 

Queen Elizabeth II announced last week that Harry and Meghan have been stripped of their duties as Royals.  Does this mean they will no longer ride in carriages and wave to the crowd as they are doing in the picture here?  If so, then it’s over.  They’re done. 

 

Because what else do they do?  Oh yeah pose for pictures in the Palace.  But don’t worry because if they don’t wave to us from carriages or pose for pictures in the Palace, we’ll be just fine.  It’s not like they drive a subway train and we’ll have trouble getting to work tomorrow.  Or either one of them is a Doctor and you had an appointment next week.  Think on it for a second, if they don’t show up at the Palace, what happens? 

   

Oh yeah, they also lost their titles and we’re wondering does that mean money?  Because then maybe it’s serious.  Serious for them, not you or us or anyone else but if they lose money, you might actually see some genuine tears flowing.  Tune into Oprah when she airs the interview. 

 

But it also may be over for Dr. Fauci.  It seems that Meghan McCain cut him a new one last week on The View.  She blasted Dr. Fauci because at one point during the crisis that is the Kung Flu, he told her she didn’t need to wear a mask and she was three months pregnant!  Then later on during the crisis that is the Kung Flu, he said she did.  OMG!  What was Meghan McCain to do?  If she couldn’t trust Dr. Fauci then WTF?  She also said Dr. Fauci needs to be replaced by someone who understands science and that is the kiss of death in today’s world.  Ouch!  You know we always thought Dr. Fauci looks like an aging Phil Rizzuto, former Yankee Shortstop and announcer.  We mean what Phil Rizzuto might look like today if he hadn’t passed away back in 2007 at the age of 90. 

 

And we’re sad to have to report this one but it might be all over for Tiger Woods.  Seems he was traveling at an excessive speed when his car hit the median and rolled over three or four times.  Actually, it’s been over for Tiger for quite some time, as he’s only won one golf tournament in the last decade or so.  It’s just that no one has had the heart to say it out loud.  In fact, some people in the know say Tiger damn well knew he was washed up as a golfer and he was working on his next career the other night and that is, NASCAR driver. 

 

We think he should try something a little less dangerous.  Hell, he’s a good, looking guy, knows his way around the ladies and he’d be great on The Batchelor.  Then again if he needs more chills, thrills and drama, well Kim Kardashian will be single soon.  That would make a hell of a reality show, Kim and The Tiger.   

 

And, yes you may make golf puns in the comments section below.  

 

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More Than You Know - novel excerpt

 

Chapter 5 

 

So, when he hit the bench, Bobby got slaps on the back from the entire team.  They stood around in a semi-circle recalling all the plays and enjoying the win, as the sun began to go down and the huge buildings that surrounded the park began to spread their long shadows across the field. 

The crowd began to melt away and everyone on the team began to head home for their wives, families and girlfriends. 

Yeah, it had been one of those games.  They had only scored two runs and he’d driven in one and scored the other.  Yeah, it was sweet.  But the best part, as the crowd melted away and his teammates left, was that standing right there on the third base side of home plate, was Melissa.  

She’d been in the crowd by the third base stands sort of hiding out as she would explain it to him later.  She had a tendency to draw attention, so she’d tucked herself in there. 

“Wow.”  She said as he came over.  Then he got a nice light, kiss on the lips.  She had to tilt her head down a little and he tilt his up, as she was a little taller than he was. 

“You’ll walk me home.”  She said like they were two kids in the neighborhood and so he did.  She lived on 70th Street and the Heckscher Fields were on 63rd Street so they walked along inside the park as the sun continued to set.  Then she stopped at bench and they sat.  That’s when she explained for the first time what he already knew, that she was four years older than him.  That she had a seven, year old daughter.  That she had a job and he had to finish his education.  And, last that she was seeing someone who she would most probably marry and she was not the kind of woman who would have an affair. 

He was about to explain to her that since she wasn’t married, technically, she couldn’t have an affair but he never got the words out because as she went on to explain, what they could do, was make out. 

Then they kissed sitting on a park bench just a little bit north of the Heckscher Fields.  It was their first real, tongue in the mouth kiss and it seemed to knock the back of his head off, so he had no complaints.  Then they kissed again and again and then she got up and they started to walk towards her apartment building.  This time, they were holding hands. 

They stopped a little further up at the next empty bench and then did the same thing.  They couldn’t do any more than kiss as people were passing by in the park but then a few blocks before they’d leave the park, he spotted a few bushes and trees clumped together and he pulled her in behind them.  Then his hands went to work combing her body.  It was the first time he ever touched her breasts.  When his hands started to make their way down her body, she slapped them and then his cheek, just ever so lightly. 

“We’re just making out.  I, said.  Remember.”  She teased. 

“Yeah, I got it.  But that’s what making out is.  My hands roam and you defend.  That’s the game.”  He answered. 

“Well, you only got to second base today, two doubles.  I saw them both.” 

“No.  I scored once.”  He countered.  

“That’s was that game.  This is, this one, and I’m the umpire.  When I say you’re out, you’re out!”  She, said. 

“Okay.”  He, said. Then he took his hands away, moved back a bit and then just stuck his face forward, lips first and they kissed again.  Then he moved back in and held her tight and buried his head in her neck.  He could smell her, smell her skin, her hair.  He never wanted to ever, let go. 

She pushed him back and, said.  “I have to get home.”  It was getting dark.  The sun would set, real fast once it got beyond the skyscrapers. 

So, they walked holding hands and stopping to kiss here and there till they left the park and walked along Central Park West, no longer holding hands.  It was nighttime now.  The street lights had come on and the sky out to the west only held a last glimmer of light. 

When they got to her block she stopped at the corner and, said.  “This is a far as you go.  I’ll call you.” 

Then he watched her as she walked away down the block, lithe and blond and beautiful.  He watched as she walked under the street light and then disappeared into the night’s shadows.  Then she was out of those shadows and into the splash of the next street light with her blond hair shining in that light.  Then she was back in the shadows and then out again, till she got to the front door of her building.  Then she stopped and turned, saw him still standing there and blew him a kiss.  She was a third of the way down the block but he could taste it, sweet and moist, and feel it all over, gentle and warm.  

https://outskirtspress.com/bookstore/details/9781977237132 or https://www.amazon.com/More-Than-You-Know-Frankel

Don't Drink and Drive

 

By now no doubt everyone has heard of Bruce Springsteen’s arrest for DWI.  And, the headlines with riffs on his songs left no mercy; DANCING IN THE DRUNK, BLUNDER ROAD, BORN TO RUM and our favorite GLORY DAZED.  And, we’re not here to kick a man when he’s down.  And, to tell the truth we thought he was driving drunk in that Super Bowl commercial and that was why he was arrested.  But no, we were wrong.  So other people could be wrong too and maybe The Boss wasn’t even under the influence.  It wouldn’t be the first time some story got out of hand.  Or as Mark Twain put it.  “A lie can travel halfway around the world before the truth can get its boots on.”  Besides this all happened last November.  That kind makes us wonder why we’re all just hearing about it now.  But that’s not why we’re here today.  No, we’re here today to give a little story with a good lesson in it.  And, that’s because every time we see some celebrity, One of The Beautiful People of The World get arrested for driving under the influence, we always think of one Bobby Ray Mercer.   

 

Now New York Yankee fans will all remember Bobby Mercer our one-time center fielder, former MVP and overall fan favorite, as Bobby Mercer always played the game the way it was supposed to be played.  But for those of you who never heard of him, as mentioned he played center field for the New York Yankees and that made him a celebrity.  And, this little tale here is also about an old friend of mine named Kevin who was a member of the NYPD.  Kevin made detective in his long career but this goes back to when Kevin was just a Patrolman.  Back then, Kevin and his partner were riding in their patrol car when they see a guy flagging them down.  They can see the guy is jiggling something in his hand.  When they get close enough, Kevin can see what the guy has in his hand and its keys, car keys to be exact.  Then Kevin notices the guy is familiar very familiar, in fact the guy is Bobby Mercer, New York Yankee. 

 

Bobby Mercer smiles and says.  “When I was a little boy my Mommy always told me that if I get in trouble to go to the Policeman.  The Policeman will help you.  Now I’ve had a little too much to drink and I can’t drive, so you guys have to help me.” 

 

And naturally after Kevin and his partner stop laughing, they did just that.  They took Bobby Mercer and his car and drove both of them back to the Precinct.  Bobby Mercer then spent the night in the 115 Precinct till he sobered up.  And, Bobby Mercer was not out in the streets driving his car into something like a tree or a lake. 

 

So, every time we see one of The Beautiful People of The World get pulled over because they can’t speak without slurring their words, walk a straight line and have no business behind the wheel of a two-ton vehicle even if it is a Prius, we always think of one Bobby Ray Mercer.  A former New York Yankee and all-around good guy, who knew that when he had a little too much to drink, to hand the car keys to someone else. 

  

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