What Were They Thinking?

On the first day of the Hamas Israeli War, there was some footage of a Hamas Guy flying in a motorized paraglider.  Assuming it was an actual Hamas Guy and not just some footage of someone on vacation in Arizona, (The Mass Hysteria has been known to do things like that.) it would have constituted the Hamas Air Force.  The Israelis then brought out their F16's, F35's and their Apache Helicopters, a real Air Force and began to bomb the Hamas Guys back into the stone age.  Which begs the question about the Hamas Guys.  What Were They Thinking?  Obviously not too much and pretty soon, maybe nothing at all.

And, President Old Brains Biden went to Israel to show support.  When asked about the bombing of the Gaza Hospital that seems to have been the result of a misguided Hamas missile, Old Brains Biden said.  "It's that old thing.  Gotta learn to shoot straight."  Now not to take things out of context, we watched the whole response and we can see Old Brains was trying to say that he didn't think the Hamas Guys fired at the Hospital on purpose.  But like a lot of stuff he says, it came out sideways but still, you've got to wonder. What Was He Thinking?  Obviously, not too well.

And Cher, the 80 year old singer who used to be married to a guy named Sonny, in case you don't remember, said in an interview that if Donald Trump gets elected in 2024 she'll.  "Leave the country!"  Thus adding her name to a long list of celebrities who have threatened to leave the country over one thing or another.  A list that includes: Bryan Cranston, Lena Dunham, Miley Cyrus, Whoopi Goldberg, George Lopez, Cher herself back in 2016, Chelsea Handler, Amy Schumer, Jon Stewart, Barbara Streisand, Chol Sevigny?  and Omari Hardwick?  Just to name a few.  And we put question marks after the names of people we never heard of but since the internet says they're celebrities, who are we to argue?  Of course none of these people ever, actually, leave the country, so it begs the question.  When they said this nonsense.  What Were They Thinking?

Did they think that the country seeing they were leaving would immediately reverse whatever the great transgression was that sent them into exile, rather than to try to exist without them?  Or the country would just collapse without their presence, thus rendering the great transgression null and void.  Or maybe it's just the like the little girl, when she's really, really angry and she says.  "I'm not talking to you ever, ever again!"  Or is it just some other thing we can't see?  You know it might be nice if the next time some celebrity mouths this missive, that someone in the vicinity of it ask.  "What's up with that?"  Or "What's that supposed to do?"

And, we used the picture at the top of this column of a guy in a motorized paraglider while on vacation, it looks like Arizona, just to give you an image to work with.  He's not a Hamas Guy invading Israel.  This admission is called, truth in Journalism.

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Secret Agent Man

Back in the bleak Cold War era of the 1950's through the 1960's, Spies or Secret Agents reigned supreme.  If not in real life, at least in books, movies and TV.  There were the solemn, plodding characters of John Le Carre novels.  Or the Napoleon Solo and Ilya Kuriyakin of the TV show The Man From Uncle or even the spoof of the genre guys like Maxwell Smart, of 'Get Smart' and Dean Martin as Matt Helm.  There was even a song about all these Spies and Secret Agents and it was appropriately titled 'Secret Agent Man'.  It went like this.

"There's a man who leads a life of danger.  With everyone he meets he stays a stranger.  With every move he makes, another chance he takes.  Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow."*

Of course the sui generis of all Secret Agents was James Bond aka 007.  James Bond was a connoisseur of fine wines, fine food and fine women.  He was elegant and he was lethal.  The 007 designation meant he had a license to kill and the British government would quickly and efficiently clean it all up.  Of course James Bond always had a gun, a Walther PPK.  And, we're kind of thinking that's what Hunter Biden, pictured above, had in mind when he sojourned out into the world, right after his father had become Vice President.

But we think poor ole Hunter only saw the movies and didn't read the books, so he sort of missed the mark a little.  Not his fault so much, as some of the movies missed the mark a little too.  Like the last one where James Bond cried, died and might have left a kid behind.  James Bond, the essential James Bond from the novels, must have always used condoms or had a vasectomy, as none of his women ever got pregnant.  STDs?  Maybe he did go with condoms but STDs were for the other guy.  And James Bond never smoked crack or did any drugs.  It was Vodka Martinis shaken not stirred.  And, he didn't make it with his dead brother's wife.  That would be tacky.  No, James Bond always had sex with women who were beautiful, hot and wanted him.  And, none of them ever got angry with him afterwards.  Unlike Hunter, whose dead brother's ex-wife hates him or the Stripper, who also hates him.  You know the one he got pregnant and doesn't want to pay child support for.

Maybe Hunter aimed too high.  But then maybe it's the quest that counts and not the destination so much.  Think of all the guys who searched for the Holy Grail.  Maybe in that quest, Hunter found the quintessence that is Hunter Biden and in so doing, found contentment, inner peace.  Maybe he won't mind it so much when they scoot him off to the Hoosegow.  Maybe he'll just sing the last line of the 'Secret Agent Man' song.  "They've given you a number and taken away your name."

It's what they do when they lock you up.

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*P.F. Sloan, Steve Barri and sung by Johnny Rivers