NYUUGGEE's Person Of The Year 2023

It's Barbie!  Why?  Well for starters, she's a doll.  And no, not just because she looks so sweet but because she's an actual doll made out of whatever they make dolls out of.  And Barbie came into this world in 1959!  That's 64 years ago and in that time there have been one billion, that's billion with a B, Barbie dolls sold!  That means a billion little girls all over the world played out their dreams with Barbie.  And, Barbie has been everything from a doctor to a lawyer to an Astronaut.  In fact, Barbie made it to the moon four years before Neil Armstrong did!  And, while the original and standard Barbie is the one pictured above there is every kind of Barbie, in all kinds of skin tones and there is even a Barbie in a wheelchair.  So, there's a Barbie for everyone.

Now some of you might be saying, she's not real!  She's not a person!  But then they made a movie about her, where the Barbie doll becomes a real woman!  And, there's a little speech in the movie where one of the characters explains the difficulty of being a real woman.  It's kind of silly and funny but James Cameron said of the speech.  "You basically sum up thousands of years of female dilemma in one minute."  And, James Cameron in case you didn't know made the movie 'Titanic' and the Avatar movies too.  And, those movies made billions!  That's Billions with a B, just like Barbie.  In fact the movie Barbie grossed over 1.4 billion dollars.  So, who are we or you to argue?  And, as all these other sites weigh with who they think was the person of the year, just ask, how much did they make?

Okay, okay this is a joke.  Barbie is not a real person.  Of course in this age of unbridled narcissism and staged events everywhere you look, you might ask, is any thing we view real anymore?  With all the images popping up on the various screens, can we tell the difference between people selling us stuff and people who are actually doing something of value?

Well yeah.  And, our real person of the year is the IDF, as in Israeli Defense Forces.  When their nation was attacked, they answered the call.  They are defending their homes, their families and their liberty with the skill and courage, that would make any nation proud.  They are also paying the price.  And, they are for real.

Anyone out there who tells you some nitwit celebrity or politician is their person of the year, well... Like Barbie at the top of this page, its just a joke.

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Person Of The Year 2023?

This week our runner ups.  Number 1 runner up Bob Iger, the embattled CEO of Disney.  His company lost billions in 2023 and they are due to lose billions more in 2024.  He seems to be driving this once great company off a cliff.  But Bob Iger is still in charge.  Still the CEO of Disney.  This reminds us of Jake LaMotta a middle weight contender and even  champion of the 1940's and 50's.  Jake fought Sugar Ray Robinson six times.  Many in the world of boxing consider Ray Robinson to have been pound for pound, the greatest fighter of all time.  Jake managed to win one of their fights but lost the other five.  In their last fight Sugar Ray just pounded Jake into a bloody pulp.  As the fight came to a close, through a face that was a total mess with his eyes looking like slits and his lips all bent out of shape, Jake managed to mutter.  "Never knocked me down Ray.  You never knocked me down."  Ray Robinson had beaten him five times but never knocked Jake LaMotta off his feet.  And, Bob Iger like Jake LaMotta is still standing.  He maybe losing more billions for his company than any CEO in history but no one's knocked him down.

Number 2 runner up Meghan and Harry.  They lost their 20 million dollar Spotify deal.  Netflix dumped them. The Royal family dumped them.  They have been dissed by the Royals in more ways than we can even count.  It seems no one explained to them that a 'Tell All', never has a sequel.  The very nature of the 'Tell All', is you 'Tell All' and there shouldn't be anything left.  But even if there is or might be more, no one speaks to people who do 'Tell All's for fear of being in the next one.  But they're still together!  Who'd a' thunk that one?  We would have bet good money that they'd gone their separate ways by now.  With Harry on his knees begging his Daddy to let him come home, so he could play the Prodigal son.  The Prodigal son meme would play really well, as no one has done it in a long, long time.  It would blow up the internet.  It would make the Mass Hysteria apoplectic.  Even the Cognoscenti Of The Known World, would weigh in on a daily basis.  And Meghan, we figured she'd be in another 3rd rate, cable only TV show.  Or she'd be one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  But what can we say?  Sometimes, we're wrong.  But they are still together!  Amazing!

Tune in next week for our Person of the year 2023.  Or maybe the week after, as this might be harder than we think.  But no, our person of the year will not be Taylor Swift.  We think that Time Magazine who made her their person of the year, is just a shadow of their former self.  No, more like an echo.  They put Taylor Swift on the cover of their magazine because her concerts sold out and a movie of her concerts, grossed over 249 million dollars, world wide.  So they hoped that with her on the cover they might get someone to look at their archaic construct.  Maybe they'd even get some likes on Tik Tok, Twitter and Youtube.  No one reads the thing anymore and hasn't for a long time.  It's not like Taylor Swift did anything of note.  Gone are the salad days when Time Magazine's Man of the Year was Adolph Hitler and the sane world gasped.

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Smelling Like A Rose Or Not

John Kerry Climate Czar, former Secretary of State, former Senator from Massachusetts, former Congressman from Massachusetts, who was in Viet Nam by the way, was decrying the state of Climate Change and the fact that the adults of the world were just not listening!  He was on a TV show bemoaning the use of coal in specifics but also the whole climate change thing, to a group of other Climate Change Aficionados, who listened with great empathy to his exhortations.  Then he farted.

Now we are not saying that this was the ultimate statement on Climate Change but if we stop to think about for a minute, maybe it was.

And love springs eternal!  Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes are still together and still in love.  If you remember the big scandal last year.  It was these two co-hosts on ABC's Good Morning America fell in love.  They met on that show and it should have been a great story but they were still married to their respective spouses and ABC fired them.  This in an industry that has had many many members of its profession accused of and fired for sexual harassment and even pedophilia.  In fact the co-hosts of Morning Joe did the same thing and while the Joe of Morning Joe was not married the Mika of Morning Joe, was.

Now we wondered at the time if their firing had anything to do with Amy Robach being a white woman and  T.J. Holmes being a black man.  Joe and Mika of Morning Joe, are both white.  But then the people who scream and cry about these things didn't raise a peep, so who were we to make such a suggestion.

But as we said love springs eternal and Amy and T.J. have resurfaced where all fired TV hosts resurrect, on their very own Podcast.  Maybe those lines from the old Bette Midler hit song 'The Rose' are appropriate here.

'Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose'*

And across the pond in Venice a group of tourists were told repeatedly to sit down, they were rocking the boat.  But they were busy taking selfies while in a Gondola and like a lot of today's youths, they could not stop stop taking selfies.  The Gondola in turn capsized and all the selfie takers went into the Canal.  Luckily all the selfie takers were saved but sad to say all their phones were ruined and the selfies lost for all time.  And, we're not sure what gets dumped into those Canals in Venice but we're pretty sure that the fished out selfie takers, didn't come up smelling like roses.

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* Amanda McBroom

The Fog Of War

 

If you tune into the Mass Hysteria, you will always hear the Talking Heads and The Cognoscenti Of The Known World talk about The Fog Of War.  But if you ever get a chance to read the after action reports written by the Commanders in the field, usually written right after a battle has concluded, you can see that the Commanders know exactly what happened.  There is nothing foggy about it all.

Now the Mass Hysteria always likes to have someone on the ground in a war staring into the camera.  Usually with some body armor on and maybe even wearing a helmet.  As if they are in the war or the war is over the next hill or right around the corner.  When they're probably no closer than 20 miles to anything, that might get them a boo boo.  But at least they are out there.  For the rest of the Mass Hysteria, war is a never ending collage of exploding buildings, fires, people wailing and sometimes these images are from the war they are covering and sometimes from a prior war, as if they don't think you can tell the difference.  Or maybe, they can't tell the difference..  Then there is always a carefully edited, never ending loop of video, showing the same images over and over again.  And, if that was the world you lived in, your mind would be, in The Fog.

The Mass Hysteria likes to cover the current war, as if The Israeli Defense Force and the Ham Asses are two fighters entering a ring.  Maybe it's Professional Boxing or an MMA bout but in this corner it is...  And in that corner it is...  In reality, Israel is a highly complex, representative government with checks and balances and a government that exists to serve its people.  Similar to the one we live in here in the USA or that of Great Britain, France, Germany and all the civilized countries in the world.  The Ham Asses are a gang, much like the Chicago Outfit of Al Capone or the Curley Bill Brocius crew, known as The Cowboys out in Tombstone, back in 1881.  The fact that the Mass Hysteria can't differentiate between the two, is because of The Fog.

If you don't understand the difference between the two or if you think we got this wrong, please go join a gang, and report back to us.  We hear the Gambinos need a few people.

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A Little Reflection is In Order

With all the hysteria that pours out of the Mass Hysteria on a daily basis, it might be a good idea to recall a previous battle that is very similar to the current one in Gaza, The Battle of Iwo Jima.  The United States Marine Corps landed on Iwo Jima, on February 19, 1945.  The Japanese soldiers on the island had a very intricate tunnel system, the likes of which no one had ever seen before.  It took 36 very, hard fought days but The Marines took the island.  Almost all of the 22,000 Japanese soldiers died, with only 200 surrendering.  That was 78 years ago which means the Israeli Defense Forces the IDF, has a new set of weaponry that includes bunker busting bombs, drones, robots and something called a sponge bomb.  The Marines back in 1945 had high explosives, flamethrowers and well, Marines.  

So while the Mass Hysteria screams about the tunnels in Gaza it looks like,  'Alea acata est' and it's all been done before.  Let's just pray for the remaining hostages and that the IDF doesn't suffer too many casualties.

And Megan Rapinoe a female soccer player fell down on the field and it seems tore her Achilles tendon.  She decided that this injury as she put it.  "Proves there is no God".  This is the atheist argument that if there was a God, terrible things would not occur, like slavery, the Holocaust or the New York Mets not having won a World Series since 1986.  You can see how her injury fits right in there.  What it actually is, is the human body as it ages, loses it's elasticity.  The aging athlete can't do the same things they used to do and that body is more prone to injury, see Aaron Rogers New York Jets.  That is  what they call, the science.  Maybe 38 year old Megan Rapinoe, doesn't believe in the science.

First it was Tiffany Gomes the self described "crazy plane lady" who began yelling at an imaginary man while on a Airplane.  Naturally the other passengers on the plane whipped out their phones and began to record and onto Tik Tok it went.  The video went viral.  Now it's another woman on an Airplane screaming but this time she claimed she was being "human trafficked".  Technically she's right as she's a human being, going from one place to another but that's not what she was up to.  We see a trend here.  We're guessing that these two women weren't polished or good looking enough to get on one of the 'Housewives of...  Not athletic enough to get on a show like 'Wipeout' and not even appealing enough to hook up with a convict and be on 'Love After Lockup'.  So they've resorted to screaming on an airplane and hoping for Tik Tok.  This Age of Narcissism treks on.

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Questions?

In a fierce and fiery debate Wednesday night while discussing the evils of Tik Tok, candidate Vivek Ramaswamy pointed out that candidate Niki Haley's own daughter had a Tik Tok account!  OMG!  Niki Haley then responded.  "Keep my daughter's name out of your voice.".  Then she called him "scum".  Now under certain circumstances that would have been considered racist but since both of their families came here from India, she can call him whatever she wants.  But that brings us to our first question of the day and we've been pondering this one for quite sometime.  What is the difference between the Politicians of Today and The Real Housewives of New York, Beverly Hills, The Potomac or wherever you prefer?  

The answer...  We give up too.

This brings us to the Ham Asses and our second question of the day.  In case you didn't know, in the middle of the famous Gun Fight at the O.K. Corral, Ike Clanton ran up to Wyatt Earp and screamed.  "Don't shoot!  I got no gun!"  This is not just from the movies.  This was attested to by all the surviving combatants and the many witnesses.  Wyatt amazingly didn't just shoot him but shoved him aside telling him.  "The fighting has commenced.  Get to fighting or get away!"  So why don't all these Ham Ass supporters demonstrating all over the world, get their asses on a plane, fly to Egypt, go through one of the many tunnels of the Ham Assess and get to fighting?

And Jared Leto, Academy Award winning actor climbed the Empire State Building.  Well at least from floors 86 to 104 which is the highest and scariest part.  Jared is the first person to scale this New York City Landmark since King Kong.  Now, you might be wondering why would he do this?  Money?  Fame?  He already has those things.  So it's not not for the reasons most people do these outlandish and crazy things nowadays.  Like live on a desolate island for months or in a house with a bunch of other narcissistic nicompoops, just so they can all be, in front of a TV camera.  Like we said Jared Leto already has all that.  No, the answer must be, because it is there.

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Happy Halloween!

As you can see the Kardashians dressed up as the Bratz Dolls for Halloween.  Then Taylor Swift went out dressed up as who else?  Taylor Swift.  And, the Ham Asses out there in Gaza, dressed up as dead bodies.  We weren't sure who was the most convincing but after some discussion we decided, it was the Ham Asses. 

And a whole lot of the migrants who have flooded New York City are dressing up as Sex Workers and parading up and down Roosevelt Avenue in the Borough of Queens.  We hear that they are very, very convincing.

Then there is the Trick or Treat aspect of Halloween.  

For the Texas Rangers who won there third game of the World Series on Halloween and then won the World Series the next night, it was the Treat. 

Then there was Steven Edward Riley Jr. a 57 year old North Dakota man who thought he'd inherited 30 million dollars from some long, lost relative.  Since he was going to be a multi millionaire why have a frumpy, dumpy, 47 year old common law wife?  Maybe he was thinking he'd be just like Jeff Bezos.  So he planned to dump the 47 year old, frumpy, dumpy, Ina Thea Kenoyer, as soon as he cashed his 30 million dollar check.  Not only was Ina Thea Kenoyer not so hot looking, she also didn't work and just sat around the house all day.  She never, ever cleaned or cooked.  But she must have got wind of his plans and while she didn't know how to cook, she did know how to put anti-freeze in his favorite drink.  And, well, Steven Riley Jr. 57, drank it and died.  Trick, nasty Trick.

But then the story doesn't end there.  It seems that Ina Thea Kenoyer thought since she was his common law wife, she'd inherit the 30 million.  But then she found out that North Dakota doesn't recognize common law marriages.  So, it was double Trick.  And there was no 30 million dollars.  It was all an email scam.  You know those things, they usually come from Nigeria.  So it was Trick, Trick and triple Trick.

Halloween, can be a nasty night.

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What Were They Thinking?

On the first day of the Hamas Israeli War, there was some footage of a Hamas Guy flying in a motorized paraglider.  Assuming it was an actual Hamas Guy and not just some footage of someone on vacation in Arizona, (The Mass Hysteria has been known to do things like that.) it would have constituted the Hamas Air Force.  The Israelis then brought out their F16's, F35's and their Apache Helicopters, a real Air Force and began to bomb the Hamas Guys back into the stone age.  Which begs the question about the Hamas Guys.  What Were They Thinking?  Obviously not too much and pretty soon, maybe nothing at all.

And, President Old Brains Biden went to Israel to show support.  When asked about the bombing of the Gaza Hospital that seems to have been the result of a misguided Hamas missile, Old Brains Biden said.  "It's that old thing.  Gotta learn to shoot straight."  Now not to take things out of context, we watched the whole response and we can see Old Brains was trying to say that he didn't think the Hamas Guys fired at the Hospital on purpose.  But like a lot of stuff he says, it came out sideways but still, you've got to wonder. What Was He Thinking?  Obviously, not too well.

And Cher, the 80 year old singer who used to be married to a guy named Sonny, in case you don't remember, said in an interview that if Donald Trump gets elected in 2024 she'll.  "Leave the country!"  Thus adding her name to a long list of celebrities who have threatened to leave the country over one thing or another.  A list that includes: Bryan Cranston, Lena Dunham, Miley Cyrus, Whoopi Goldberg, George Lopez, Cher herself back in 2016, Chelsea Handler, Amy Schumer, Jon Stewart, Barbara Streisand, Chol Sevigny?  and Omari Hardwick?  Just to name a few.  And we put question marks after the names of people we never heard of but since the internet says they're celebrities, who are we to argue?  Of course none of these people ever, actually, leave the country, so it begs the question.  When they said this nonsense.  What Were They Thinking?

Did they think that the country seeing they were leaving would immediately reverse whatever the great transgression was that sent them into exile, rather than to try to exist without them?  Or the country would just collapse without their presence, thus rendering the great transgression null and void.  Or maybe it's just the like the little girl, when she's really, really angry and she says.  "I'm not talking to you ever, ever again!"  Or is it just some other thing we can't see?  You know it might be nice if the next time some celebrity mouths this missive, that someone in the vicinity of it ask.  "What's up with that?"  Or "What's that supposed to do?"

And, we used the picture at the top of this column of a guy in a motorized paraglider while on vacation, it looks like Arizona, just to give you an image to work with.  He's not a Hamas Guy invading Israel.  This admission is called, truth in Journalism.

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Secret Agent Man

Back in the bleak Cold War era of the 1950's through the 1960's, Spies or Secret Agents reigned supreme.  If not in real life, at least in books, movies and TV.  There were the solemn, plodding characters of John Le Carre novels.  Or the Napoleon Solo and Ilya Kuriyakin of the TV show The Man From Uncle or even the spoof of the genre guys like Maxwell Smart, of 'Get Smart' and Dean Martin as Matt Helm.  There was even a song about all these Spies and Secret Agents and it was appropriately titled 'Secret Agent Man'.  It went like this.

"There's a man who leads a life of danger.  With everyone he meets he stays a stranger.  With every move he makes, another chance he takes.  Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow."*

Of course the sui generis of all Secret Agents was James Bond aka 007.  James Bond was a connoisseur of fine wines, fine food and fine women.  He was elegant and he was lethal.  The 007 designation meant he had a license to kill and the British government would quickly and efficiently clean it all up.  Of course James Bond always had a gun, a Walther PPK.  And, we're kind of thinking that's what Hunter Biden, pictured above, had in mind when he sojourned out into the world, right after his father had become Vice President.

But we think poor ole Hunter only saw the movies and didn't read the books, so he sort of missed the mark a little.  Not his fault so much, as some of the movies missed the mark a little too.  Like the last one where James Bond cried, died and might have left a kid behind.  James Bond, the essential James Bond from the novels, must have always used condoms or had a vasectomy, as none of his women ever got pregnant.  STDs?  Maybe he did go with condoms but STDs were for the other guy.  And James Bond never smoked crack or did any drugs.  It was Vodka Martinis shaken not stirred.  And, he didn't make it with his dead brother's wife.  That would be tacky.  No, James Bond always had sex with women who were beautiful, hot and wanted him.  And, none of them ever got angry with him afterwards.  Unlike Hunter, whose dead brother's ex-wife hates him or the Stripper, who also hates him.  You know the one he got pregnant and doesn't want to pay child support for.

Maybe Hunter aimed too high.  But then maybe it's the quest that counts and not the destination so much.  Think of all the guys who searched for the Holy Grail.  Maybe in that quest, Hunter found the quintessence that is Hunter Biden and in so doing, found contentment, inner peace.  Maybe he won't mind it so much when they scoot him off to the Hoosegow.  Maybe he'll just sing the last line of the 'Secret Agent Man' song.  "They've given you a number and taken away your name."

It's what they do when they lock you up.

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*P.F. Sloan, Steve Barri and sung by Johnny Rivers

Looking Good or Not?

Senator Robert Menedez of New Jersey has been indicted on charges of bribery and if that sounds familiar, it's because he was indicted on federal corruption charges back in 2015.  This is a case of deja vu all over again.  In that first case, Senator Menedez had done favors for some guy who had committed Medicare fraud and wanted to bring hot women from Brazil into the country.  The guy in turn had given Senator Menedez free rides on his private jet and bought the Senator some gifts.  The jury had a hard time differentiating between corruption and the usual practices of elected officials, so they couldn't get to a verdict.  The Prosecutors realizing this case might be a bridge too far, dropped the charges.

But this new bribery case might be different.  Seems the Senator had 480k in cash stuffed in his socks, the mattress and various other places in his house.  Then there was another 100k in cash in his wife's safety deposit box.  Now he could argue that he doesn't trust banks after all he is a Senator and should know.  And he and his wife have scrimped, saved, used coupons a lot and tucked the cash away for a few decades but then he also has gold bars.  Yeah the stuff you see in the movies that the bad guys like the Nazis would hide away.  And, these gold bars have ID numbers on them that are registered to a guy who is facing prosecution and the Senator is trying to get him off.  Well, who knows?  Maybe the Senator has a story for the jury but right about now, it doesn't look too good.

Now there is Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift.  They seem to be dating.  Travis Kelce who plays for the Super Bowl Champion Kansas City Chiefs and Taylor Swift who needs no introduction, have been seen together on numerous occasions.  She invited him to one of her concerts and he was bewitched.  Taylor Swift has been known to have that effect on men.  He in turn invited her to see him perform with the Chiefs.  She showed up with an entourage and they all danced to the tune of the Chiefs, crushing the Chicago Bears 41 to 10.  So right about now, it all looks really good.  But given their dating histories by this time next year, they'll both just be a memory to each other.  Hell they might not even make it to the Super Bowl.  And she'll write a song next year about a guy who was "out of bounds" caught in a "personal foul" or he just couldn't get "into the end zone".  But right about now, it looks really good.

And continuing with the NFL, the New York Jets watched the sugar plum fairies of the Super Bowl that were dancing in their heads make a quick run for the exits, as Aaron Rodgers went down on his fourth play in a New York Jets uniform.  He tore his Achilles tendon, highlighting a reality that billionaire sports team owners don't seem to grasp.  As the human body ages, it loses it's elasticity and we all of us but especially athletes, can no longer do the things we used to do and we are more prone to injury.  The Jets brain trust's plan B seems to be Zach Wilson but they'd be better off looking around at the many local high school Quarterbacks out there in New Jersey.  

What's really bad is the Jets have to play the Chiefs this week on Sunday Night Football where everyone with no other games to watch, will be tuned in.  And, they may well have to watch Taylor Swift and the entourage dancing again which will be good for her fans, fans of her romance with Travis Kelce and the Kansas City Chiefs fans but for the long suffering New York Jets fans, this isn't looking too good.

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On The Road To Political Stardom

We pointed out in our last article, two venues that politicians might take on their way to political stardom and we did mention that there could be others but we failed to elaborate.  One of our astute readers pointed out that President Zelenskyy of Ukraine was a comedian.  And we feel that we should have added failed comedian to the failed actor category on the road to political stardom.  But it shouldn't have been just failed actor/comedian, as we once had a very long discussion here of running Jerry Seinfeld for President.  And Jerry is a very successful comedian and the press conferences would have been classic.  Someone would have asked about nuclear proliferation and Jerry could have said.  "Nuclear weapons yes.  They cost a lot of money and you really can't use them.  Why do we have them?'  Or Jerry could have opened up a press conference with.  "What's with Russia?  Are they really the world's 2nd best military or are they just the 2nd best military in Ukraine?"

But one other road to political stardom that no one here ever thought of has now thrust itself into the political arena...  Only Fans.  Susanna Gibson a candidate for the Virginia House of Delegates has an Only Fans account.  For those of you who have been living under a rock, an Only Fans account is usually a sexually explicit venue where the star of the show performs live and the viewers pay money, to watch.  Much to the shock, the horror or maybe the delight of her opponents and some of the voters, this has all come to light.  Susanna Gibson's reaction is.  "It won’t intimidate me and it won’t silence me. My political opponents and their Republican allies have proven they’re willing to commit a sex crime to attack me and my family because there’s no line they won’t cross to silence women when they speak up."  In other words, "What's your problem?"

As you can see from the picture above Susanna Gibson is quite attractive and most of us wouldn't mind seeing her in action but if all the people running for office had to have an Only Fans, we could clear the field of almost everyone, overnight.  We wouldn't need term limits in Congress.  And, it would certainly get rid of all the current Presidential candidates tout de suite.  

Hmmmm to echo Susanna Gibson.  What's the problem?

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Words of Wisdom from Sonny the Capo

With the propensity of people to fight, argue and stop speaking with their families and friends over political candidates, we think it is wise to recall the words of Sonny the Capo to little Calogero in the play and the movie 'A Bronx Tale'.  In case you didn't see the play or the movie it's about a kid, Calogero, growing up in the Bronx in the 1960's.  

The kid befriends the local Mafia Caporegime Sonny and Sonny in turn takes an interest in him.  One day Sonny can see the kid is all upset and asks why.  Little ten year old Calogero tells him that the Yankees just lost the World Series and he read in the paper that his hero Mickey Mantle, was so upset, he cried.  Sonny looks at the kid and bestows this wisdom.  "If you father can't pay the rent and you ask Mickey Mantle for the rent what is he going to say to you?  Mickey Mantle doesn't care about you.  Mickey Mantle doesn't know you're alive."

We imagine two scenarios where the modern day candidates spring into the political arena.  The first is a young actor/actress whose agent first sends them out to audition for movie roles.  When that doesn't pan out, the agent sends them for TV shows, first dramatic and then sit-coms.  When that doesn't work, the agent sends them to auditions for Reality shows and when that doesn't work, he tries for slots as a contestant on game shows.  When all of this doesn't work out, the agent turns to the young ingenue and says.  "Politics?"

In the second scenario a young lawyer who did very well in law school, hooks a position in a big, prestigious law firm.  After a few years, this young lawyer wonders if they'll make partner.  This is a big law firm with a lot of talented attorneys and only a few make partner.  Then again, this young lawyer begins to wonder even if they make partner...  Will it be enough?  Slowly but surely their mind begins to turn and the light blub clicks on and they think... Politics!

Of course there are other scenarios but the one where the candidate tells you or implies that they've been called to public service  because they care about you and they want to serve their country well...  You can believe that if you want to.  But walking around in three thousand dollar suits with your hair perfectly coiffed and mouthing pious platitudes written by someone else (We think the last guy to write his own speeches was Teddy Roosevelt.) and becoming a multi-millionaire in the process, is not serving your country.  It's called riding the gravy train.

The people who serve this country, are in the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, the Coast Guard and the United States Marine Corps.

So the next time you're on the verge of no longer speaking to someone close to you over some political hack, try to recall the wisdom of Sonny the Capo.  You can fill in the blank with whoever it applies to.  "If your father can't pay the rent and you ask ________ for the rent what is he/she going to say to you?  ________ doesn't care about you.  ________ doesn't know you're alive."

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The Conundrum

There are 91 counts filed against Donald John Trump former President of The United States and he's facing these counts in four different trials.  His detractors are filled with glee, anticipating "Orange Man in an orange jumpsuit" for the rest of his life.  His defenders dream of him wining the Presidency, pardoning himself and then spending four glorious years as President.  As this unfolds, members of the Mass Hysteria, The Talking Heads and The Cognoscenti Of The Known World, will be having a field day screaming, pontificating and telling us this is the end of democracy, no matter what the outcome is, in each trial.

Also the elected and the unelected politicians of all parties and all political affiliations, the political class in total, will be apoplectic on any given day or everyday.  They will also intone, this is the end of democracy no matter what the outcome is, in each trial.

But if there are any sane people among the members of the Mass Hysteria or the political class, there may be no desire to see an ex-President rot away in prison.  There may be no desire among a whole lot of the sane people in the United States, who are not in the Mass Hysteria or the political class, to watch an ex-President rotting away in prison.  It might look bad for the country.  Other countries might see us as a Banana Republic.  So there is the conundrum.  Can anyone beat 91 counts in 4 different cases?  Probably not.  Can anyone simply wipe away all the convictions?  Probably not.

Now we don't simply tell you that the world is a dark place, be afraid, be very afraid.  And oh yeah, send us your money so we can keep screaming about it.  No, we light candles and there is a solution to this conundrum.  It is old.  It goes back to antiquity but surprisingly it is still in use in the modern day world and that solution is...  Exile.

Yup just like we said it goes back to antiquity and the first guy who was exiled was Psisitratus The Tyrant of Athens in 561 B.C.  He got sent to Rhaecelus, a small island in the Aegean Sea.  And, you might be remembering Napoleon now, which was two centuries ago but Mohammed Reza Pahlavi, the Shah of Iran got exiled here to the U S of A in 1979.  Of course, that set off 44 years of grief for the U.S. and Iran.  Exile, often isn't pretty.  But it worked for the Shah, as he died in bed instead of at the end of a rope.  Then there was Jean Baptiste Duvalier aka Baby Doc, who got exiled to France in 1986, where he at least spoke the language.  And, Jair Bolsonaro former President of Brazil, sitting right here in the USA.  Exiled here, just last year.  You might pass him on the street.

So, it's a tried and true method that is still very much in use.  We're thinking of some place like United Arab Emirates or Abu Dhabi or Saudi Arabia.  Some place where a guy with a few billion would be treated like a King or a Prince or an Emir.  He could even have his own Podcast where he could hold forth on anything or everything.  He could call it 'The President In Exile'.  Of course his detractors could call it "I'm Fired".  

Now if there are any sane members of the Mass Hysteria or the Political class and they come up with this idea, just remember, that you heard it here first.

Maybe we really are the cutting edge, the tip of the spear in this journalism thing.  Maybe we should change our motto to 'Ad extremum hastae' (the tip of the spear in Latin).  Nah.  We'll stick with 'Telling it like it is.  For the Public Good'.

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This Just In! Breaking News!

 

We like to think we're the cutting edge, the tip of the spear in this journalism thing, so we can take everything in stride and not lose our focus like The Talking Heads of the Mass Hysteria do, when something comes out of nowhere.  But Brittany Spears and her husband of one year Sam Asghari, just separated and they are headed for divorce!  Wow!  We didn't see that one coming.

And Phillip Swagel the Director of the CBO that's Congressional Budget Office which makes him the government's economics guru said all the inflation we're experiencing is the result of "massive government spending".  Wow!  Who'd a' thunk that one!

And this one is a real shocker.  The authorities in New Mexico did another test on the gun that Alec Baldwin used to shoot the Cinematographer and the Director on the set of the movie 'Rust'.  Alex has said again and again that he never pulled the trigger.  That he never would have and could not have pulled the trigger.  The gun just went off.  The gun did it.  And when all the charges were dropped, it seemed the Prosecutors agreed with him.  Why would he lie?  But in this new test, the gun, seems to disagree.  The gun said, I will not fire until you pull my trigger.  Will Alec be arrested?  Indicted?  Will he get perp walked?  Will he have to pay for his sins?  Who could have seen this one coming?

Like we said at the beginning, we think of ourselves as the cutting edge, the tip of the spear of this journalism thing.  We don't want to be like the Talking Heads of the Mass Hysteria or The Cognoscenti Of The Known World, reacting like hyperactive teenagers who don't take their Ritalin, every time something happens.  No, we want to be sensible, perceptive and have a sense of decorum.  But then there are these things that you just can't foresee.  They just happen, like earthquakes or Tsunamis.  No one could see them coming.  So we just try to grin and bear it, suck it up and bring you all the news.  And, more importantly the insights you'll need, to get through the day.

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Noooo!

As the case against Hunter Biden grows and grows a dem congressman named Jamie Raskin said that Hunter did "a lot of really unlawful things".  And another dem congressman Jim Hines flat out said of Hunter Biden "he broke the law".  This is called.  'Your own man says so.'  For those of you who don't know what that refers to, it's when kids are playing a choose up game and there's a close play and the kid who is out, thinks he safe.  The kid on the other team who made the play, says he was out.  The argument might go on for awhile, as there are no umpires for kids in a choose up game.  But when one of the kids on his own team who saw the play really well reluctantly says.  "He was out."  It ends the argument, as it is known as 'Your own man says so'.  So when dems say about their own guy, that he did it, he did it.  To which we say.  "Noooo!".

And people are upset that President Biden had no comment when asked about the wild fires in Maui that took the lives of close to 100 people.  It seems kind of cold but our sources tell us that Old Brains had no idea where Maui was.  He thought he was being asked about some place in Ukraine.  You know Mariupol or Mykolaiv.  And he's under strict orders not to comment on anything about Ukraine unless he's reading the comments off the teleprompter.  And then only after he's been told what the question will be and which reporter will ask it.  Now some of you out there may be saying "Noooo!" but to that we say "Yessss!".

And as of today Donald John Trump, former President of the United States and our former neighbor, is facing 119 felony counts in four separate cases.  Now we're not sure if this is some kind of a record but we know it's more charges than John Gotti another of our neighbors, Vincent The Chin Gigante or even Lucky Luciano ever faced.  And, we don't think anyone ever beat 119 counts in four different cases, so it may well be, off to the Hoosegow for the ex-President.  Some of you maybe going "Noooo!" and some of you may be going "Yessss!" but this will open up opportunities for the ex-Prez.  We see a reality based show along the lines of '60 Days In' or 'Love After Lockup' where he reunites with Melania.  There's some great potential here; a Reality Show with a tremendous amount of buzz, a ton of views, likes and a lot of high ratings for whatever channel and streaming service gets the show.  In today's world among the glitterati, who doesn't want that?

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Invasion Of The...

When Mitch McConnell began to speak to the Mass Hysteria the other day, he got about 30 seconds into his routine when he froze, like a deer in the headlights.  Lucky for him a car wasn't coming at 50 mph.  But this incident brings certain things to mind.  'Invasion Of The Body Snatchers' an old Sci-fi film from the 1950's, for one.  That's where these Pods from another world come to earth and take over the bodies of human beings.  Once their bodies are taken over, the previously human beings are Pod People.  And Pod People are emotionless, empty creatures, that don't speak too well.

The other thing that came to mind was The Minority Leader of the Senate might have just had a stroke.  One of the symptoms of stroke is, the inability to speak.  But then Mitch remained upright and stroke victims tend to fall over.  Besides his colleagues just led him away.  No one called an ambulance.  Then again it could just be old age.  Like a lot of old timers Mitch just walked into a room and forgot why he was there.  Hell, when Mitch was born, the Japanese fresh off of bombing Pearl Harbor, were busy raising hell in the South Pacific and taking one island after another.

And come to think of it, this used to happen to Nancy Pelosi, when she was Speaker of the House.  She would slur her words and then just freeze and stand still.  Then she'd start slurring her words again.  Some people thought she was drunk.  We thought she was on something like Ketamine, since she has over a hundred million in the bank and Ketamine, is a designer drug.  But it just could have been old age.  When Nancy Pelosi was born, the Nazis were rolling over France and in case you're trying to remember, that was before the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor.  So she's older than Mitch.  But maybe it's not just old age.  Maybe the Pods got her too?

Then there is President Biden.  He slurs his words.  He freezes too.  But then he also says things like.  "I can describe America in a single word AUSUFUTIMAEHAEHFUTBW."  Could be old age.  Could be a stroke or two.  Then again, maybe AUSUFUTIMAEHAEHFUTBW, means something to the Pod People.  

Since the Congress is currently holding hearings on UFOs and Aliens, we're sure they'll get to the bottom of this.  Just like they do with everything else.

Stay tuned right here, as the rest of the media might not cover this.  Just us and Tucker Carlson.

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When I Grow Up I Want To Be...

Our intrepid reporter Cynthia Caruso was on her way to Jones Beach with her three grandchildren in tow, when the skies opened up and a downpour ensued.  Since our office is in Queens and on the way to Jones Beach, she stopped off there.  Our office has laptops and Plasma screen TVs complete with a computer game hook ups, so it was the perfect place. Naturally the staff got around to asking her grandkids what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Nine year old Phoebe said.  "I want to be a Pediatrician."  She likes her Pediatrician.

Eleven year old Ophelia said.  "I want to be an Architect."  She draws real well and buildings are her favorite subject.

Typical things that little kids say that no one pays much mind too.  Everyone just smiles, thinks that's nice and goes about their business.  But when thirteen year old Holden gave his answer, it made everyone in the office come to an abrupt halt.  Little Holden said.  "I want to be a Whistleblower."

Everyone had a whole bunch of questions to which Holden had all the answers to, even before they could be asked.  "It's easy.  As soon as I'm old enough I go to work for some Presidential campaign.  I get coffee for everyone,  hand out leaflets, get petitions signed, kiss people's asses and then all I have to do is wait for the scandal."

"What scandal?"  Everyone asked almost in unison.

"There's always a scandal.  There's been one for every President."  Holden announced confidently.

"Now wait."  Someone said thinking that the kid is only thirteen so he could only remember maybe two Presidents.  But then everyone started thinking back and somebody said.  "Bush the Elder."  And someone else said.  "Iran Contra was still ongoing."  Everyone nodded as they all realized that included President Reagan's eight years.  Someone else said.  "Jimmuh?"  But it was more of a question that no one off the top of their head could remember and even if correct...  That meant over 40 years and seven Presidents ago.

Holden went on.  "Once there's the scandal.  I start leaking things to the Media."  Someone interjected with "Don't you have to be in the area of the scandal and know..."  When everyone started to laugh a little.  And Holden answered.  "No, I don't have to know anything that actually happened.  I just repeat rumors that will be all over the place anyway.  And, I will have worked on the campaign and I'll have some kind of a job there and they'll just take down everything I say.  Then they'll just repeat it so long as it fits the narrative of the scandal.  Don't forget, I'll be a source from inside the Administration."  

No one wanted to argue with that one.  Holden went on.  "Then maybe I even get to testify before Congress where I can lie like a rug and no one will do anything to me.  I just keep repeating the rumors.  I don't even have to have any of my own, just whatever people want to hear at that point.  Then I write my book or books.  You can do more than one, depending on the how excited everyone gets.    Some people will say I'm a Rat but others will say I'm a Hero.  I might even wind up with my own Podcast."  

Everyone wanted to argue with him about the who, the what, the where and the when of some scandal that hasn't even happened.  You know things journalists are supposed to ask.  But then there couldn't really be any answers and no one could find any fault in little, thirteen year old Holden's logic.

Holden did add his only caveat.  "My biggest problem is figuring out which one of the idiots will actually win.  But that's not too much of a problem, as I'll be really young when I start and I'll pick the winning idiot, sooner or later."

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"Girls Just Want To Have Fun"*

Former New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio and his wife Chirlane McCray are separating.  They're not going to get a divorce and neither is even moving out of the house they share but they're both going to start dating others.  Some reasons were given by both of them but Chirlane's number one reason was.  "I just want to have fun." 

And critics of Golf influencer Paige Spiranac got upset because of her July 4th picture.  That's it at the top of the column here.  The haters think it was inappropriate but not us because we know that "Girls Just Want To Have Fun".  Also we think it's a very patriotic theme, the red, the white, the blue and the hot dogs with the appropriate toppings.  Sort of like Mom and Apple Pie but with an adult beverage.  Too bad Norman Rockwell is no longer with us.  He could really do justice to this red white and blue image, making it stand for everything we fight for.

And that strange white powder found in the White House turned out to be cocaine.  Now some people think Hunter Son Of The President had left some behind as he had been there the day before.  But we don't want to jump the gun here, as there are a lot of women working in the White House, so maybe it was just girls having fun.  Then again it might have been Hunter Son Of The President, as he is known to dabble in that stuff.  Maybe boys want to have fun too.  And Hunter Son Of The President, is a fun guy.

And as Editor-in-Chief of NYUUGGEE I have a complaint.  Can someone please start a boycott of something I use.  It must be great to watch something you hate, crash and burn.  But I don't watch TV news of any kind, so I can't enjoy the drop in the ratings of all these shows as they make their way into Television History.  We get all our information from our own sources and the internet, sometimes even using the Dark Web.  Bud Light?  I don't even drink beer.  If someone starts a boycott of Johnny Walker I'm in.  I don't care what they did.  Disney movies, I haven't seen one in over 60 years when I was a little kid.  Now it looks like it might be Ben and Jerry's ice cream but I don't eat that either, too sweet.  But somebody come up with something puhhhleeezzzze!  Old guys want to have fun too.

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*Cyndy Lauper sang it, with words and music by Lolly Vegas and Robert Hazard

Questions ???

For some reason The Talking Heads and The Cognoscenti Of The Known World take to pronouncing certain words or names in the language they come from.  Why?  We're not sure.  We know when it's a French word or name, they think it makes them look enlightened but the VOG NAR group?  We're not sure why they take to pronouncing this one in Russian, when everyone can see it's Wagner.  That's Wagner as in the dog wags its tail or you wag your finger or the WAGS  who are the wives and girlfriends of professional athletes.  But no, The Talking Heads and the Cognoscenti Of The Known World all have to say VOG NAR.  Maybe the VOGNARs called them up early on in their ascent into the Mass Hysteria and told them it's VOG NAR!  And, they're all afraid to say it any other way.  But not us.  For us it's the Wagner's.  Just like some family who lives down the block from you, even if they came here from Russia.  

And yes, that is Yevgeny Prigozhin Head of the Wagner's a the top.  A bad dude, if there ever was one.

And Mark Zuckerberg has picked up the gauntlet thrown down by Elon Musk to a caged match.  We're not sure if this is a WWE style match with girls in bikinis, balloons and confetti or the real thing, as in no holds barred MMA.  But what's the point here?  One pudgy fifty something year old guy against some nerdy looking doofus, neither of whom has ever been in a real fight in their entire lives?  Why?  Who would ever, and we mean ever, want to watch this?

And after a search that went far and wide, a lot of consternation and gnashing of teeth, the search for Pat Sajak's replacement on the TV show The Wheel Of Fortune is...  Ryan Seacrest!  And, like why?  Is the guy out of work or something?  They couldn't find anyone else?  How hard is it to say. "Are there any Ts in there?"  And, "Where are you from?"  And sometimes act as if you're half interested when a contestant tells you their Grandmother was on Wheel Of Fortune back in the last century?  Other people who could use a job and the exposure were available too; Bill O'Reilly, Don Lemon, Chris Cuomo, Matt Lauer, Amy Rorbach and T.J. Holmes and they could be an entry as Vanna White is retiring too, Charlie Rose as he's still kicking and last but not least Dan Rather who is also still, above room temperature.

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Maybe Not Such A Hot Idea

Nicholas Malvagna threw his cell phone at the singer Bebe Rexha at the close of her show.  He hit her resulting in some nasty bruising.  When asked why?  Malvagna said he thought it would be funny.  The Police arrested him and while he thought it was funny at the time, he had to have that moment when he realized it wasn't such a hot idea.  Maybe that moment came when he was being handcuffed, booked, strip searched or maybe when they told him, he could make one phone call.

Now we're not sure if it was the 7th or the 15th or the 22nd but we're pretty sure by the time he read the 37th count in his indictment, that former President of the United States Donald John Trump, realized that maybe taking these things home with him, wasn't such a hot idea.

Obviously letting Tucker go was not such a hot idea but as they were cleaning house over there at Fox News, the name Geraldo Rivera had to have come up.  Someone must have asked.  "Who hired this guy?"  When no one would own up to it, it was bye bye Geraldo.  For those of you still watching 'The Five', you won't have Geraldo to kick around anymore.

And, June 21, 2023 came and went and we're all still here.  Guess we can all thank the Big Guy and Jesus or whoever you want because Great Thunberg back on June 21, 2018 said we had five years before the climate and that means the rest of us along with it, would just go poof!  Now you may think that she might be sitting there and thinking maybe that wasn't such a hot idea to say that back then, as everyone is still around today.  But not to worry.  People who predict the end of it all and then the end doesn't come well...  They just change the date.  You can look that up.  Besides, she was only 15 years old back then.  We're pretty sure she was just reading something that someone else wrote.  It's not her fault.  Don't be hating.

Oh yeah, that's Bebe Rexha at the top of the page.  No, we did not just put her picture up there so we could have a beautiful woman at the top of the page.  There are pictures of her after she got hit with the phone that might be more apropos to this article but we didn't like those.  And, we can't help it if she's beautiful and elegant.  Don't be hating.

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Truth, Rumor Or ?

Truth

 As FOX News craters in the ratings, they just fell behind MSNBC, maybe it's time to take another look at what everyone calls the Main Stream Media.  As we pointed out just a few weeks ago, even when FOX News was riding high with Tucker, they were only drawing 3 million viewers.  And the population of the United States is 335 million people.  So that meant that 99.2% of the American people weren't even looking.  Now both FOX News and MSNBC draw around 1.5 million each which means that 99.6% of the American people don't give either of them a sideways glance.

But this got us looking at the other alphabet members of the so called Main Stream Media and we found that ABC Nightly News averages around 7 million viewers, NBC Nightly News around 6 million and change and shock and amazement CBS Nightly News only 4 million and change.  Contrast this against The Joe Rogan Experience which draws 11 million people a day and Crime Junkie which averages around 10 million viewers a day and they're Podcasts.  Maybe all these so called Newscasts are really just Podcasts.  But then the Podcasts are out drawing them, so that wouldn't be accurate would it?  Perhaps Blogs, are more appropriate?  The ABC blog, the FOX blog, the MSNBC blog and the CNN blog.  Although CNN at a half a million viewers an hour, is probably way behind a lot of blogs.

Rumor

Alec Baldwin aka The Man Who Shot the Cinematographer and the Director, has been seen walking around our fair city with a cane and we want to kill the rumor that he shot himself in the leg.  We can confirm through sources, that he had hip replacement surgery.  People have to stop saying that he shot himself.

?

The story that once Kevin Spacey is acquitted in his sexual harassment case in London that he'll be starring in a new rendition of House of Cards, is persistent.  In this one, he doesn't play Frank Underwood.  This isn't a prequel.  No, in this one he plays another President, who unlike Frank Underwood couldn't finagle his way out of it all or manage to die either.  So this guy is in prison.  But he is still the President.  The House of Representatives impeached him but the Senate did not convict.  So this new series is about how this President wheels, deals and runs the country from his prison cell.  Some people say this plot is too far out to be possible.  Others think it's not so far fetched and only awaits, Kevin Spacey's acquittal.  

Oh yeah, rumor has it that the working title for this new Kevin Spacey series is 'Solitaire'.

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They're Here!

They're Here!  So says David Charles Grusch former Air Force Intelligence Officer and self proclaimed whistleblower.  Grusch says the United States Government has covert programs that are holding partially intact and intact craft of "non-human origin".  And, the intact craft had the bodies of the dead pilots in it.  In other words E.T. came, he crashed and he died here.

Okay, okay we know you skeptics out there don't believe.  You're wondering why doesn't David Charles Grusch former Air Force Intelligence Officer and self proclaimed whistleblower, have something like a few pictures of the dead E.T. pilots?  Well, maybe they don't let you take your cell phone into the very secret room, buried deep in the tunnels of Area 51?  But ah ha you say there are those little, mini cameras that are so small you could hide them under your tongue or in some other body cavity?  Or he could have taken a toe nail.  Who'd notice that?  Or at least an E.T. chewing gum wrapper that was made of  material not of this earth, with writing on it that had no relation to any human alphabet?  You know, E.T. hieroglyphics.

Well if you skeptics don't believe him, it matters not.  Tucker Carlson late of Fox News fame, believes him.  Tucker even ran with this story on the opening segment of his new Twitter show!  Tucker is going to be speaking truth to power!  That's his new shtick.  And Tucker wondered why the rest of the Mass Hysteria wasn't covering the story.  We mean if they could ever get hysterical about anything, the arrival of E.T. should be it.  As all readers of this column know, the Mass Hysteria is not above making things up but they probably would like a few pictures or better still video.  Maybe a fake memo or two?  So if this Grusch guy could come up with something like that, we're pretty sure it wouldn't just be us and Tucker Carlson covering this story.  This story, would be all over the place.

And David Charles Grush also spoke of the "partially intact craft".  In other words other "non-human origin" craft and he didn't say anything about what happened to their pilots.  Maybe, like we said at the top of this article... They're here!

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The Fall Of...

As you can see the President took a fall.  Not his first and probably not his last but all you Old Brains fans not to worry.  Rome fell, as did the Mongol Empire, the Ming Dynasty and a whole host of other folks.  If you don't believe us, just ask Meghan and Harry or Harvey Weinstein.  Better still, ask Gary Condit.  Who?  You see people forget, everyone forgets, even President Biden.

BTW someone once unfriended us because we made fun of Old Brains Biden.  We thought that was kind of silly.  Getting mad at Presidents is the same as getting mad at the actors Roger Moore or George Lazanby when they played James Bond.  We didn't particularly care for them in that role but hell, they're just actors.  It's not their fault.  Just as it's not ours, when we make fun of them.  They don't mind and neither should you.

Speaking of Harry and Meghan aka Megharry, sources close to them are letting it be known that they're all done with the tell-alls.  No more books, no more Netflix series and no more interviews about the woes and pitfalls of being rich, famous and maudlin.  Could be as some say that they've nothing left to tell.  Could be that no one talks to them.  We mean if you ran into them at a party after the weather, what would you say to them?  You got to figure they're wired and anything you say might wind up in their next book.  Maybe no one talks to them.  Would you?  We mean after, hot hunh?  And, this could be a case of too little, too late.  Could be they've gone the way of the Mongols, the Mings and Gary Condit?

Then of course there is the fall of Fox News.  It seems the Murdochs who own Fox and a million other things dumped their number 1 boy, Tucker Carlson.  Hell they've dumped Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, Gretchen Carlson and Shepard Smith and never missed a beat but this time it was different.  The audience got mad and they've left the building.  Fox News gets tied with or even loses to MSNBC in the ratings!  They haven't fallen as far as CNN as that's the bottom.  But then, who knows?

Now we're not saying the News media lives in a bubble all their own.  But they all might want to have a moment when they look at the population of the United States of America.  It is 335 million people.  So even when Fox News and Tucker were riding high and drawing 3 million people a show, that meant that 99.2 percent of the American people didn't even know he or they, were on the air.  Could it be that Fox, MSNBC, CNN and all the rest, just go the way of the Mings, the Romans, the Mongols and Gary Condit?

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Trouble

"If you're looking for trouble.  You came to the right place.  If you're looking for trouble.  Take a look right at my face." 

So sang Elvis back in 1958 with music and lyrics by Lieber and Stoller.  And, that seems to be the theme song that is breaking out all over the place.  As you can see in the picture above a former College Professor is holding a machete to the neck of a intrepid NY Post Reporter.  What had that Reporter done?  He had asked her about a now viral video where said former Professor had been caught, ranting and raving at some of her former students over the abortion thing.  Lucky for those students the former Professor didn't have her machete with her when she went on that rant.  And, we say former Professor and her former students, as the College she worked for Hunter College, fired her. 

Picking up the baton next is Tom Hanks pictured right above.  As you can see that guy with Tom Hank's finger in his face must have said or did something.  Tom in turn gave him the "if you're looking for trouble, look right at my face", question.  

And, Tom Hanks is the guy who stormed the beaches of Normandy in 'Saving Private Ryan', sunk German submarines in 'Greyhound' and took out the Mob in 'Road To Perdition'.  And Tom Hanks had to be the kind of guy that Lieber and Stoller had in mind, when they warned "don't you mess around with me".

And carrying that baton over the finish line is this guy.  

That's James Holzhauer newly crowned Jeopardy Masters Champion.  If you go up against this guy, you lose.  When he hits the Daily Double he bets all his chips.  Then he gets the question right and the game is over even if it's early in Double Jeopardy or just late in Single Jeopardy.  He just has so much money at that point that you can't catch him.  And, you're left on that stage in the Alex Trebeck studio writhing in agony for the remainder of the show, as the answers click off and even Final Jeopardy can't save you, as he just has too much dough.  Look at that face.  That's Holzhauer going all in.  And, that's the line "because I'm evil.  My middle name is misery."

Here are the lyrics and you can see how it's just breaking out all over.

If you're looking for trouble
You came to the right place
If you're looking for trouble
Take a look right at my face
I was born standing up
And talking back
My daddy was a green-eyed mountain jack
'Cause I'm evil, my middle name is misery
Well, I'm evil, so don't you mess around with me

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