November 23, 1963

 

A little over a week ago, was the 57th anniversary of the assassination of President Kennedy and that tragic and somber moment was duly noted by many.  But then no mention of the assassination of the 35th President of the United States can ever be complete, without the conspiracy theories.  So here are some of our favorites. 

 

LBJ did it with help from the CIA, the FBI and the real assassin on the Grassy Knoll.  In this theory LBJ is a power-hungry man who wants, needs, no, has to be President!  So, he orchestrates the assassination and ascends to the Presidency.  For a while he’s on top of the world.  He’s elected the next year in a major landslide but then he gets lost in the quagmire of Viet Nam.  Demonstrations and riots erupt across the country.  LBJ becomes the object of hatred and scorn.  Protestors chant.  “Hey, hey LBJ how many kids did you kill today!”  When he runs for re-election even though he wins the New Hampshire Primary, he is so beat and disillusioned by the war that he quits the race.  In an angry, hurtful television address to the nation, he says.  “I shall not seek and I will  not accept the nomination of my party for another term as your President.” 

  

This would make a great movie.  Think ‘All About Eve’ here where a young Anne Baxter schemes lies and sleeps her way to the top of Broadway only to find it all empty and meaningless.  We see Kevin Costner as LBJ.  Angelina Jolie as Jackie Kennedy and Tom Hardy as JFK.  J.K Simmons is the shadowy figure on the Grassy Knoll. 

 

Then there is the Mafia did it.  Sam Giancana and Carlos Marcello had the President whacked.  There are some facts to play with here.  Fact 1, Joseph P. Kennedy the father of JFK was mobbed up.  He was a bootlegger during prohibition and the Mob were his partners.  Fact 2, the Mob helped JFK get elected helping turn out the vote for him in Chicago and Louisiana.  Fact 3, the Kennedys try to get the Mob to whack Fidel Castro.  Fact 4, Jack Ruby was definitely mobbed up.  You can fill in the blanks to Lee Harvey Oswald.  This would make another great movie with DeNiro playing Sam Giancana and Joe Pesci playing Marcello.  Lorraine Bracco is Jackie Kennedy, Ray Liotta is Lee Harvey Oswald and Paul Sorvino is Jack Ruby. Think of this as The Goodfellas go to Washington. 

 

Of course, our favorite conspiracy theory comes from our own Financial and Real Estate expert Carmine.  Carmine contends that Lee Harvey Oswald was one of the many illegitimate kids of Joseph P. Kennedy.  The favored son JFK gets to live the charmed life, hob knobbing with celebrities, sleeping with movie stars, marrying Jackie not to mention all the money and the Presidency.  While poor ole Lee Harvey makes a buck and change an hour working in a book depository.  When the favored son comes to Dallas, poor ole Lee just can’t take it anymore.  He buys a gun and well, the rest is history.  This wouldn’t make much of a movie.  It’s just too sad. 

  

Those are our favorites, what’s yours? 

Dicens simile factum est 

 Pro Bono Publico 

 

A Little Perspective

 

With all the screaming, yelling and consternation going on over this Presidential election, perhaps it is time to try and give a little perspective.  Let’s take the Presidential election of 1960.  It was a close election in terms of popular vote and won by then Senator John F. Kennedy.  People old enough to remember the Kennedy years remember all the comparisons of that administration to Camelot.  They were all beautiful and everybody seemed happy.  Now let’s say JFK had lost.  What would have happened?  Well, there would be a whole lot of consternation and gnashing of teeth among his friends and followers but then JFK would have gone home to Boston.  Where he would have written a few books, fooled around with his wife and well a few other women.  Now he had Addison’s disease so he probably would have not lived to see 80 or 90 but he definitely had a few more decades of a nice life, instead of what happened to him. 

Now let’s take Ronald Reagan.  He was elected in two landslide elections.  He had two good terms and went home as popular or more popular than when he first got elected.  But he also got shot and almost died.  If not for the quick thinking of his staff and some excellent surgeons, that could have been the end of him.  Now if he’d lost, well John Hinkley would have shot President Carter.  Think about that because John Hinkley shot the President because he wanted a date with Jodie Foster.  Hinckley didn’t have anything against President Reagan.  It was just whoever was President.  Just in case you didn’t know, John Hinckley never did get that date, even though he’s been out of that prison hospital for a few years.  We guess, Jodie wasn’t impressed.  Maybe, he should have shot the Pope. 

Now let’s take O.J.  Yeah, yeah O.J. didn’t run for President but just try and remember all the hoopla over that.  For over a year people were screaming, yelling and getting blue in the face over, did O.J. do it?  There is a great trivia question and that is.  What was the most watched live event in TV history?  Answer, the slow Bronco chase with O.J. and Al Cowlings in the Bronco.  Now some of you might not even remember it and that’s the point.  Who remembers the chase that had a hundred million people glued to their TVs and who even cares now, if O.J. did it or not?

Now, not to bring the whole thing up again but one thing always bothered me.  According to the Prosecution, O.J. is stabbing his wife to death and this Ron Goldman returning her glasses from some restaurant, walks into it.  Ron then takes on O.J.  Now not to cast any aspersions on a guy who got stabbed to death but if I walked into a scene where some six-foot, three inches tall, two-hundred-and-fifty-pound guy was stabbing a woman to death, I’d run like hell.  Remember Nicole Simpson wasn’t Ron Goldman’s wife, girlfriend, mother, or sister.  She was just someone he knew a little.  Maybe Ron Goldman thought he was Spider-Man.  But I’m pretty sure most people would have run like hell too.  In fact, a whole lot of people would have run, thrown away her glasses and never said a word about it.  This doesn’t mean O.J. didn’t do it.  Just that mentioning something like this back then, would have caused a furor.  How dare you say such a thing about this valiant, young dead guy?  But now?  Who cares?  Who even remembers?  I had to go Wiki to make sure I got the names right here. 

So, when something in the news has everyone going crazy, it is good to remember that at some point up ahead, that it will fade away.  There may be ramifications, as there are with all things.  But all the screaming, the yelling, people getting blue in the face, will most definitely, fade away.  Well at least until the next bruhaha rears its ugly head.

Dicens simile factum est 

Pro Bono Publico 

Coffee Alone

 

This is a neighborhood story and as you can see by the picture we’re using and the prices mentioned, it goes back awhile. 

 

Willie the owner explained very patiently to his tall, hulking seventeen-year-old counterman Nicky. 

“Listen Nicky, the price of coffee is going up so there’s a slight price change so we can keep pace.” 

Willie spoke slowly knowing all too well that this was the only way to ensure of half a chance of what he said, sticking in Nicky’s mind.  Then Willie said. 

“If someone comes in and has coffee, just coffee alone, it’s thirty-five cents.  Otherwise, it’s still thirty-cents.” 

Nicky nodded, knowing Willie thought he was stupid but also knowing that Willie was a Candy Store owner and therefore the real idiot.  So, Nicky said. 

“Sure, Willie that’s easy.” 

“You sure?”  Willie asked. 

“Yeah, coffee alone, thirty-five cents.” 

“Good.”  Willie said and walked back to the head of the counter and the cash register.

 

Ten minutes later, in walks a customer. 

Nicky asked.  “What’ll you have?” 

The man said.  “Just coffee.” 

Nicky gave the man the coffee and the check. 

When the man finished his coffee, he went to the register and handed it to Willie. 

It read.  ‘.30’. 

Willie just shook his head and not wanting to hassle the man just took the thirty cents.  After the man left, Willie called Nicky over and showed him the check.  Then he said. 

“I just twenty minutes ago told you that if a guy comes in and just has coffee, coffee alone, it’s thirty –five cents!” 

Nicky then looked at Willie like he was the dumbest human being who ever lived.  A man whose stupidity could only be vaguely fathomed. 

“Willie!”  He exclaimed.  “What’s the difference if a guy comes in alone or if he comes in with a hundred people?”