The War In Afghanistan?

 

While our armed forces return home from Afghanistan, we realize that there will be a lot of gnashing of teeth over what went wrong.  For the answer to that we’ve turned to the pages of history.  And no, not the usual boring stuff you’ll hear from the Mass Hysteria and the Cognoscenti of the Known World about the British or the Russians in Afghanistan.  No, we’re talking about the battles of Gettysburg, Vicksburg, Belleau Wood, Chateau-Thierry, Guadalcanal, Iwo Jima, the Battle of Normandy and the Battle of the Bulge.  Those, kind of battles.  We won all those battles.  And, in Afghanistan, there was the Battle of...   

Yeah, we couldn’t remember one and there’s the problem.  In order to win a war, you have to win a battle, at least one and probably a whole lot more than one.  And, there didn’t seem to be any battles.  We mean battles not little shootouts.  When there are more casualties in a weekend in Chicago than a skirmish outside of Kabul, it's not a battle.  And there doesn't seem to be any we could remember or find a reference to.  If anyone out there knows, please let us know too.  But that was the fly in the ointment, the monkey in the wrench.  After all the analysis that we will all hear try to remember this one.  To win a war you have to win battles.  In fact, win or lose you have to have battles otherwise do you really have a war?  We mean what would all those other wars the Greeks and the Persians, the Punic Wars, the Crimean War, the World Wars I and II all be, without the battles? 

  

So going forward, all our experts both in the Mass Hysteria and the Cognoscenti of the Known World, should know that if, no when, we have our next war, we have to have battles.  It’s important.  Because even if we lose them, at least we’ll know what happened.  Because right now I think a whole lot of people are sort of shaking their heads and wondering what the hell were we doing there?  

Dicens simile factum est 

Pro Bono Publco

dfabmd@aol.com

'Kabul Airport or Bust!'

There was a time in America when people seeking their fortunes cried out ‘California or Bust’.  They were headed west for gold, the first time.  Then came the Okies whose land had turned from rich soil to just plane dust.  They too invoked 'California or Bust' but all they wanted was to have enough to eat.  Then of course there were the generations of star struck young women and men heading for Hollyweird.  They were also seeking fortune but also a new kind of gold, fame.  But once again it was 'California or Bust!'  Now we have thousands of Americans headed for the airport in Kabul and it’s 'Kabul Airport or Bust'.  But they’re not seeking gold or fortune and fame.  They’re more like the Okies.  They just want to save their butts. 

There were either 2,000, 7,000 or up to 20,000 Americans trapped in Afghanistan invoking the 'Kabul Airport or Bust!' meme.  We’re sorry for the difference in the numbers but the numbers depend on what mass hysteria outlet you last looked at or what government spokesperson you last heard from or how much Exelon and Gingko the current occupant of the White House took on a given day. 

You may be wondering how many Americans are stranded in Afghanistan?  But this ever-changing figure is nothing new in the world of the mass hysteria and the government.  For example, the last war with Iraq either cost 1.9 trillion or 2.1 trillion or 2.4 trillion dollars depending on what source you consult.  Now you might say that the cost of a M1A1 Abrams Tank or an F-16 in combat could be a variable, so it might be difficult to get a constant value.  But it's the 21st Century and we have computers that utilize complex algorithms that could easily do that.  It's not like it's 1953 and we're asking a few guys with pencils, pads and an adding machine.  So that's a lot of billions, that no one seems to know if they were spent or not.

And, the government should know what it spent.  And, the mass hysteria who is supposed to tell us who, what, where, when and why should be able give us one figure as well.  Because when you spend your money you know the who, the what, the where, the when and the why.  You might regret some of the why but you know why.

And, it's not just with trillions and billions.  The same thing happens with lesser numbers and constant values.  Like how many people died on 9/11.  Either 2,974 people died or 2,977 or 2,996 died.  So it's possible that somewhere between 19 and 22 people who were thought to have died, didn't!  That's great.  Of course it could also mean that between 19 and 22 people who were thought to be alive are well... you know.  But you can see that these numbers don't need any fancy algorithms to calculate.  You could do it with a pad, a pencil and an old 1953 style adding machine.  But somehow well they, just can't get it straight.

Oh yeah, we haven’t even mentioned the number Afghans who were friendly to the U.S. Government or who are also invoking 'Kabul Airport or Bust!', who also  need to save their butts!  That could be another 10 or 20 or even 80 thousand people, depending upon who you ask and when.

Stay tuned. 

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

Morte Cuomo

As Cuomo the Younger, shuffles off into the dusky light of a setting sun that is his career, he leaves not only his name Andrew Cuomo in the dust but an entire legacy forever tarnished with the shadowy images of sexual misconduct.  And, this is not just the end of a man but a name, a name that was Cuomo.

Mario Cuomo, Cuomo the Elder came out of nowhere.  He was the son of Italian immigrants and his fiery rhetoric lifted him from an unknown lawyer defending the rights of Junk Yard dealers in Queens to the Governor’s Mansion in Albany.  

And there he sat Cuomo the First, Cuomo the Elder contemplating the almost unthinkable for this son of immigrants... a run for the Presidency!  And, he sat and he contemplated like some modern-day Hamlet.  Should he, “take arms against a sea of troubles..." or "...to sleep, perchance to dream.”  Alas, the answer was neither.  He just never ran for President.  But in his “apprehension how like a God” was he.  But that’s all over now.  The name Cuomo will be forever linked to female body parts touched, fondled and groped.  This is the tale of a man Andrew Cuomo, Cuomo the Younger, a man who loved not too wisely or too well but rather a man, who pursued his passion without consent.

Once greatness called for both the Cuomo the Elder and Cuomo fils.  And, there were no doubts for Cuomo The Younger, no Hamlet he.  Andrew was going to run for the Presidency as sure as God made little green apples.  And now, in the dusk of that once great career, ignominy awaits.  The name Cuomo to be linked with Clinton, Franken and Weiner in the hall of the failed, the forgotten and the better off, never spoken of.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

dfabmd@aol.com

 

The Fly on the Wall

 

As Governor Cuomo the Younger huddled with his staff this week inside the Governor’s Mansion in Albany isolated from the rest of the world, wouldn’t you like to be the proverbial fly on the wall?  Well, we got him.  The fly that is, not the Governor as no one can get near him but his inner staff.  By the way, this is an exclusive interview.  The Fly can’t afford to waste his time with just anybody. 

Fly “C’mon, let’s make this fast.  I’m not going to live forever.  In fact, I got another 17 days and about 6 hours if I'm lucky.  We only live about month ya know.”

 

NYUUGGEE “I know.  I know.  Your great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather explained all that to me last year.  Now first, how did you get in there?” 

Fly “Oh you don’t believe me?  Fine, I’m outta here.” 

NYUUGGEE “No, no let’s hear what you heard.” 

Fly “Since you’re so nosy I got in through the air conditioner duct and you have to be careful with that believe me.  But it’s worth the risk.  The food, as usual was great, the Salami the Provolone and the Braciole.  It’s to die for.  Anyway, they’re all throwing out ideas like...  we could attack their credibility and then someone else says.  There’s eleven of them?  There’s a lot of silence after that.  In fact, every time someone threw something like that out, they’re would be a lot of silence afterwards.  Hey did I tell you about the Braciole?  I think it was sirloin.  It can be a lot of things but this one I’m pretty sure it was sirloin.”

 

NYUUGGEE “Eh what did the Governor say?”  

Fly “Oh him.  He was pretty quiet through most of it.  He was kind of munching on his knuckles which was kind of sad what with all that great food there.  But he did pipe up and say. ‘I don’t remember grabbing ass or coping a feel.  I don’t remember any of this.  Maybe I got dementia or Alzheimer's.’  There was a lot of head shaking.  No one either bought the idea or thought they could use it.  Then there was some mumbling.  Things you could never hear as you’re a human but of course I'm a Fly.  I can get around and fast.  I wouldn’t repeat the mumblings as I might have missed a few things but it seems like the Cuomo guy did a helluva' lot worse than what you’ve heard so far.  I got the impression the people honing the axe for him are sending him a message, giving him an out.” 

NYUUGGEE “Did he mention what he was going to do?  Resign?  Fight it out?” 

Fly “Naah.  Then he asked who he could line up for support.  Man did it ever get silent.  I had to hold completely still for a long time.  I mean you could hear a pin drop or worse a fly buzzing.  That’s when it gets dangerous too.  I mean if they hear the buzzing.  So, I’m just holding still for like ten maybe even fifteen minutes while no one says boo till they start with the credibility thing again.  Seems like after a whole lot of talking it was the only thing they had.” 

NYUUGGEE “Anything else?” 

Fly “No I was outta' there.  Hey I’m not gonna' live forever.  Besides, I had to go.  I ate a lot, too much really.  How long have we’ve been at this?” 

NYUUGGEE “About a half an hour?” 

Fly “Yeah, a half hour for you but a chunk of my life I’ll never get back.  See ya.” 

With that he buzzed away but now you’re all up to date on what’s going on inside the portals of power in the Governor’s Mansion up in Albany. 

Dicens simile factum est 

Pro Bono Publico 

dfabmd@aol.com