Thursday, September 26, 2024

R.I.C.O.



R.I.C.O.  Racketeer, Influenced, Corrupt, Organization.  That is what P. Diddy, Diddy, Puff Daddy, Puffy Daddy, Love, aka Sean Combs, is indicted for being in charge of.  It's not a single crime or even a bunch of crimes but it's running an organization that consistently commits crimes.  It's what they got John Gotti on, for running the Gambino crime family.  And according to the Attorney General' of the Southern District of the United States of America, P. Diddy, Diddy, Puff Daddy, Puffy Daddy, Love aka Sean Comb's organization, was doing that, for decades.  The Attorney General of the Southern District also said, it was a well oiled machine.

For people wondering how he got away with it for so long, we consulted with our legal experts and they explained that in order for the government to proceed with a case like this, they would need a complainant.  There was no dead body or other third party evidence of a crime.  That complainant turned out to be one Cassie Ventura, ex-girlfriend, ex-protege, ex-victim.  The reason there was no one before her, is P. Diddy etcetera, etcetera was able to make or break people in the music industry and so was able to prey on them as well.

But with Cassie on board, the Feds were able to get a search warrant and raid his homes.  They caught him with his pants down.  There were automatic weapons with the serial numbers scrapped off and drugs, lots of drugs, illegal drugs.  Our legal experts tell us, the drug and gun charges alone, will get him 20 years.  But the piece de resistance, is the video  recordings his "freak offs", parties where some participants were drugged, coerced and even forced to have sex,  Then there was the 1,000 bottles of baby oil and sex lube.  We told you, this was a well oiled machine.

P. Diddy etcetera, etcetera, was at the top of the music business and a major celebrity, who hob knobbed with just about every other celebrity, actor, singer, and politician of his day.  So naturally everyone begins to wonder with a certain amount of glee, just who was in those "freak offs" and caught on video?  Whose career will hit the skids, as they are seen in flagrante delicto?

Well don't hold your breath.  Those things never seem to materialize.  And in this case, the only recordings needed for the trial will be those with the cooperating witnesses.  There's no need for anyone to see any of the others.  But even if they are somehow leaked and the celebrity, actors, singers, politicians and even Preachers are all caught in flagrante delicto and they all, fall like dominoes... They'll just be replaced by another group of celebrities, actors, singers, politicians and even Preachers almost over night.  It's like we have a mill, that produces pretty but silly, mostly empty headed, people, who entertain us and then exit stage left or right.  It's a celebrity, actor, singer, politician and even Preacher mill.  And, it's a well oiled machine.

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Thursday, September 19, 2024

State of the Union


Vice President Kamala Harris was overheard mumbling.  "Why doesn't anyone want to shoot me?  Should I do a few interviews?  A press conference?"

Neighbors describe the latest would be assassin as "a cuckoo" and "a lot of people were afraid of him".  This breaks with the usual description of "nice guy, quiet guy" that we get when the neighbors are quizzed about the gunman, who shoots or tries to shoot himself into the headlines in a blaze of blood and glory.

This guy's name is Ryan Wesley Routh and we know a lot of you are wondering, why was he taken alive?

The question now becomes who does Ryan Wesley Routh remind us of most?  John Wilkes Booth?  Charles J. Guiteau?  Leon Czolgosz?  Lee Harvey Oswald?  Or was Ryan Wesley Routh, supposed to be the guy on the grassy knoll and something went, woefully wrong?

Ryan Wesley Routh was waiting for Trump at the 5th hole.  Is there some significance to the number 5 or is it just that there's a bathroom at the 5th?  Routh had his own Sniper's nest there , complete with a SKS 47 rifle, a bullet proof vest, some food and and video recorder, just no bathroom.

Congress will hold hearings.  They will grill people.  They will get angry for all the news shows and the podcasts.  They will find...

A. A viable conspiracy

B. Links to some shadowy government agency, no one has ever heard of before

C. Links to agencies we know like the CIA and the FBI.  You know, the usual suspects.

D. Links to someone like Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates or Nancy Pelosi.

E.  They find nothing.

We're betting on E, nothing, as usual.

Such is the State of the Union.

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Friday, September 13, 2024

There Is No Ethan And...


Back in the day, two cabbies got into a heated argument because Cabbie number 1 wanted to bet the Giants and Cabbie number 2, was telling him the line was way off and only an idiot would make the bet.  To which Cabbie number 1 said.  "I'm an idiot!  I'm an idiot!"  To which Cabbie number 2, answered.  "Don't brag about it."

This comes to mind as one Anna Akbari has written a Tome 'There's No Ethan'.  Seems there is this con artist who got 10 women to fall in love with a completely fictional Ethan.  This Ethan was an M.I.T. and Colombia graduate, a Financial Analyst with a BMW and a dog named Harvey.  Not only is Ethan none of these things, he isn't even a man.  Seems the fictional Ethan, is really a woman named Emily Marantz, M.D. and a Gynecologist to boot.  Well, we guess if any of these conned woman had managed to hook Ethan, at least they would have married a Doctor.

How did he meet all these women?  OK Cupid, a online dating site from which he could spin his tales of affection towards them.  Lucky for all of these women, Ethan didn't want any money.  The book explains that he only wanted to toy with their emotions, or so they say.  Three of these women got suspicious when Ethan failed to show up for dates or even do a facetime call.  So, these three woman got together and hunted down Ethan.  That's why they wrote the book, to expose him.

But maybe that wasn't such a hot idea, writing the book.  Ethan didn't take any money, so there might not even be a crime here and maybe it's like Cabbie number 2, told Cabbie number 1.  "Don't brag about it."

BTW way back when the Giants lost that game and they didn't cover either. 

And sticking with the NFL, the NY Giants and the NY Jets fans had confetti filled dreams of Super Bowl LIX dancing in their heads.  Well they did until kickoff time this last week.  The Giants got crushed 28 to 6 and the Jets got steamrolled 32 to 19.  It's too early to call the whole season a loss but  neither team looked like it had a clue, as to how to play this game.  Since this is the make or break year for the coaching staff of both teams, that means they all get fired, right before or right after Super Bowl LIX.  Which in turn means a new head coach and staff for next season and a new three year plan.  So just like There Is No Ethan for the star crossed women, there is no Super Bowl Championship for New York Football fans.  Not this year or anytime soon.  There is much moaning, groaning and gnashing of teeth.  Some of that, is coming from us.

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