Monday, December 23, 2019

The Bench Jockey

We’ve come to this startling conclusion about the Never Trumpers in the Democrat Party, The Republican Party, The Conservative Party, The Green Party and any other party, also the Never Trumpers among the Talking Heads and the Cognoscenti of the Known World; they either never played baseball or they weren’t very good at it.

We know this because in baseball there is a character known as The Bench Jockey.  The Bench Jockey is a guy who won’t play today.  It could be that he pitched yesterday’s game or it just could be a guy who isn’t very good.  But he won’t play and since he has nothing else to do The Bench Jockey will hurl insults at the opposing team.  A more common term for this type of behavior, is needling.  The idea is to get under someone’s skin, upset them and get them off their game.  The Bench Jockey might make fun of an opposing player’s little idiosyncrasies like he has a funny gait when he runs or if a player makes an error.  But anything is fair game for The Bench Jockey so it can and does, get personal.  For an example if an opposing player is lazy in the field The Bench Jockey might refer to him as “Low Energy Jeb”.   If the opposing player may have run afoul of the law a few times, The Bench Jockey might call her “Crooked Hillary”.  If an opposing player is kind of guy who makes things up The Bench Jockey might call him “Fake News”. 

As we mentioned The Bench Jockey’s modus operandi, is to get the other player off their game.  If the opposing player is a good hitter and they go up to home plate after being reminded of their failings, they may get angry, yell back and then they might strike out instead of getting a hit.  The Bench Jockey can get real results.

The Bench Jockey reserves his insults almost exclusively, for the best players on the opposing team.  The bad players on the opposing team who are making outs when at bat and errors in the field are not worth wasting his breath on.

So when the Donald Himself needles the Never Trumpers and they become unglued we safely assume that, they never played baseball or if they did, they weren’t very good.  Because The Bench Jockey seems to be a guy, they never heard from before.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

No comments:

Post a Comment