Monday, September 5, 2022

Truth or Rumor?


While rumors abound everywhere and rumors are not very trust worthy, sometimes today's rumors become tomorrow's historical facts.  For example JFK got whacked by the Mob.  That was a rumor among many other rumors and conspiracy theories for decades but now, well, pretty much everyone in the know, knows it to be true.  And, look for all future JFK conspiracy movies and books to zoom in on this.  The CIA, the FBI and LBJ conspiracy theories, are out.  Get used to the names Sam Giancana, Santo Trafficante and Carlos Marcello.  Another example, were the rumors circulating for the last few months that Leonardo DiCaprio was going to dump his girlfriend before she turned 25 as he dumps all his girlfriends before they turn 25.  Another one that was true.  So we are here to try and sift through the rumors, separating the wheat from the chaff for the benefit of truth, justice and the future historical record.

So here we go.

Rumor 1.  Mikhail Gorbachev was whacked.  He did not die of natural causes.  In the old days these guys were just sent to a Dacha to never be heard from again but this was before the poison pen and the uranium milk shake.  This could only be a rumor as Gorbachev was 91 but then maybe the old guy said a few things that Putin didn't like.

Rumor 2.  The were only two things found in Donald Trump's safe at Mar A' Largo.  Number one was a bunch of Taco Bell receipts ear marked for his Accountants, as business expenses, replete with hot sauce stains and number two, nude pictures of his wife.  Truth or Rumor?  We're hot on the case.

Rumor 3.  There is going to be a new cable news/streaming service called The Cornfield with Chris Cuomo, Brian Stelter, Jeffrey Toobin and Chris Wallace.  We're leaning rumor here but then who knows?  We like the lineup.

Rumor 4.  Is there a war in the Ukraine?  At first there were daily images of tanks burning, airplanes screaming through the skies and explosions reaching to the heavens.  But we all know by now that the Mass Hysteria is not above taking footage from one war and using it for another.  For example the war in Syria was a hodgepodge of clips from the Iraq war.  The Mass Hysteria even admitted it.  And now, there are almost no images or even any news about this war at all.  We lean truth here, that there is a war and the Mass Hysteria just got bored with it.  And, whatever happened to that Zelenskky guy?  He was on the news everyday and now?  Poison pen?  Uranium milkshake maybe?

Rumor 5.  The Yankees are still in a pennant race.  After breaking on top of their division with an almost insurmountable lead, the Yankees have taken a nose dive, going 20 and 31 in their last 51 games.  Falling out of the whole thing is entirely possible at this point.  Along with the forgone conclusion that the Yankees would win their 28th World Series this year, just turning out to be a rumor.  Oh say it ain't so!  Say it ain't so!

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