Andrew Yang dropped out of the Presidential race and too bad too, as we could have used that $1,000 a month, he was going to give everybody. We’re pretty sure you could have too.
But anytime people run for President or any other office there are always losers and this time around, there will be a lot of them. That’s why we call it Vote Day around here, as it’s only Election Day, if you win. When you lose, it’s just another cold Tuesday in November or some day before that. And the losers are starting to pile up.
First off let us go against conventional wisdom here and say that Old Dirty Grandpa Joe Biden, is not a loser. At least, not yet. And Old Dirty Grandpa is right when he said the first two primaries are like the “opening bell” to him. Because the first time he ran for President back in the year of our Lord 1988, he was out of the race before the Iowa caucuses even rolled around. Seems he got caught plagiarizing a speech by some English guy, Neil Kinnock. Making stuff up was a big deal back in 1988. It was a different world back then. Now?
And maybe making stuff up still mattered in 2008, when Old Dirty Grandpa ran the second time and finished so far behind Barak Obama, John the Baby’s Daddy Edwards and HerHilaryness in the Iowa caucuses, that he dropped out, right there. But now? Well maybe making stuff up doesn’t matter anymore. And, that’s why all The Cognoscenti of the Known World, anointed him the front runner in 2020, even before anyone cast a vote. So, if we look at this as a progression, Old Dirty Grandpa is still in the race, headed for Nevada and North Carolina and that is a helluva lot better than he ever did before. Maybe he’ll do even better in 2024?
But it does seem that Elizabeth Warren is headed back home to have a few beers and maybe more than a few beers, with her husband. Our attempts to re-brand her as a Comanche instead of a Cherokee, have not gained her any traction. Oh well, maybe she’ll do better in 2024 too?
Now Mini Mike Bloomberg is jumping into the race. That’s pretty smart, as he doesn’t have to hear how no one in Iowa or New Hampshire wanted him. At first, we thought he had no chance, as we thought that no Mayor of New York City has ever been elected anything after being Mayor of the City of New York. The Honorable Mr. Lindsay ran for President and could hardly get any votes. Our Honorable Mr. Edward I Koch ran for Governor of New York and lost badly. Then our Honorable Rudolph Giuliani ran for President and only got one delegate, despite leading in all the polls for two years. But then our Editor Emeritus, the esteemed Mr. C.B. reminded us that Ole DeWitt Clinton, Mayor of our beloved city got elected Governor of New York back in 1817. So maybe there is some precedent here.
But be careful out there America, as Mini Mike not only wants to grab your guns but your soda too. He’s, got this thing about sugary drinks. First, he said it was because people were obese. But recently a recording has surfaced from years ago, where Mini Mike wanted to stop young, African-American men from drinking soda too! Why? We’re not sure but then he’s no longer our problem, he’s yours.
Dicens simile factum est
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