Sunday, January 26, 2020

The Democrat Nominee

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Discussion around here among the staff has centered around who the eventual Democrat nominee will be.  Some still hold out hope for Old Dirty Grandpa Joe Biden, others like Bernie “Old Brains”, Sanders and few others lean towards Elizabeth Cherokee Warren.  And, that took us to wondering if the American people were ready for an Indian as President.  Or to be politically correct, a Native American as President.

Some said yes, as over the decades The Cognoscenti of the Known World devoutly believed things like, no divorced man could ever be elected President.  Not true as Ronald Reagan was divorced and so is you know who and twice by the way.  Then in their common wisdom they all believed no black man or African American whichever you prefer, could ever be elected President.  Not true, as Barrack Obama got elected.  And, then of course no Jewish person could get elected an none has but then Joe Lieberman ran as Algore’s Vice President.  And, they actually won the popular vote.  So, if the country was ready for a Jewish Vice-President, we can safely assume they country would accept a Jewish President.  As we all know the Vice President is only a heartbeat away.  So, most of us agreed that the country would vote for an Indian or Native American whichever you prefer, but then the question was would the American people vote for a Cherokee?  And, we sort of got stuck there.

The discussion then turned to other Native American tribes like the Iroquois, the Cheyenne, the Sioux and everyone seemed to focus on the Apache or the Comanche.  Finally, we decided on the Comanche.  Why?  Because we believe in a strong Commander in Chief, (no pun intended) and the Comanche never got kicked out of anywhere like the Cherokee in Tennessee.  In fact, the Comanche don’t even call themselves Comanche.  They call themselves the Numunuh.  It’s the people who they fought, who they scared the hell out of, that called them Comanche.  Hell, even John Wayne was afraid of the Comanche.  Some people who review ‘The Searchers’ say John Wayne is a racist in that movie.  But if you watch that movie paying a little more attention to detail than those critics, you’ll see that The Duke has nothing against Indians.  He even likes the Kiowas and the other tribes, it’s just those Comanche that turn his eyes into slits and make his blood run cold.

So, in an attempt to get her campaign back on track, we’ve all decided from now on to refer to her as Elizabeth Comanche Warren. 

We implore all of you to do the same.  Let’s get this party started right!

By the way the term “Old Brains” was not meant as a slight towards Bernie Sanders and anyone taking it as such, should be ashamed of themselves.  This is a nickname borrowed from Henry Halleck who was The General in Chief (again no pun intended) of the Union Army during the Civil War and we think it kind of applies here.

Dicens simile factum est

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