We know you have all been awaiting this with great anticipation. We haven’t run a Presidential poll since 2016 which we got wrong but then so did everyone else. We got over it, forgot about it, just like everyone else. But now without further delay here it is.
Candidate _______________ of the __________ Party has 47% of the vote.
Candidate _______________ of the __________ Party has 44% of the vote.
The other 8% of the vote is undecided.
You can fill in the blanks because the object of this poll is to make you feel good. You can think your guy is winning no matter who it is. Is it accurate? Of course, yes! Every Presidential election in this century would fall within the parameters of this poll. You could look that up. But don’t bother, we have it for you later in this article.
And, the undecided vote is extremely important because if our projection of the percentage of the vote is off a little after everyone actually votes, we will say the undecideds broke for the winner at the last moment.
Oh yeah just like all the other polls we give ourselves a 3 to 5 % margin of error. And, the margin of error is also extremely important. If the undecided doesn’t cover the actual election results, we’ll throw in the margin of error and that should do the trick.
Now we know the questions who did we call? Likely voters? Anyone who picked up the phone? Our friends and family? People from the Elks Lodge? Like we said all the elections in this century fall within the parameters of this poll. Take a look. The winner’s name is on the left and in caps because sometimes the winner doesn’t have the most votes. Do we have to give a civics lesson here?
2016 TRUMP 46.1% HerHillaryness 48.2%
2012 OBAMA 51.1% Mitt 47.2%
2008 OBAMA 52.9% John the Hero, McCain 45.7%
2004 BUSH 50.7% John I was in Viet Nam, Kerry 48.3%
2000 BUSH 47.9% Algore 48.4%
As you can see our poll will fall in very nicely with the actual election results of all the Presidential elections in this century. So, why bother with the phone calls? Even unlimited calling has its limitations. Why spend, the money? And, polling takes a lot of time and it’s boring. Who wants to ask hundreds and hundreds of people the same questions over and over again?
Of course, if there is some kind of a landslide election like Reagan v Mondal back in the previous century, we’ll be wrong, again. But then so will everyone else, again. And, we’ll just conveniently forget the whole thing just like everyone else, again.
Dicens simile factum est
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