This is not a long, sad story of the downward spiral of some mealy-mouthed politician. You know the kind who’ll say just about anything to get elected, talks out of both sides of his mouth till it all catches up with him and he finds himself out of office and trying his hand at a Cable News Show. And it’s not about an elected guy who says it never happened. He never had sex with her or put his hands where she said he did. But then after a period of denial the text messages show up. And then his wife throws all his clothes out on the front lawn and leaves him. And after that he gets the message and resigns. No, with Mitt, it’s he fell. He fell on his face. That's what he said. Probably because he’s old and well old people lose their balance. Mitt got a black eye and a whole bunch of stitches. How many? Well, he asked the Doctor but that’s another thing that happens when people get old, they don’t remember. So, he’s not sure. “A whole bunch.” Mitt said.
One thing we know for sure is Mitt goes to bed every night muttering. “If I just had been a little tougher, a little meaner. And, maybe if I had another nickname like The Rock or Duke or even Scooter. Anything but Mitt! Maybe then I could have beaten Obama. I could have been President. I could have been... somebody!”
But then again this reminds us of another Senator Harry Reid, pictured above. He also showed up with a black eye and a few stiches and said he fell too. Then he retired. Harry Reid retired despite having nothing else to do and being in the Senate for 30 years. Retired even though he was Senate Majority Leader and he managed to amass 25 million dollars in the process. So, maybe with Mitt it’s not old age and balance. Maybe it’s a hearing problem. Maybe like Harry Reid, he was told retire and at first, well, he just didn’t listen. We’ll see.
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