Lost And Found

Two men searching for Sasquatch deep in the woods of Washington State went missing and later, were found dead.  Authorities say they died of exposure, as they probably got lost and succumbed to the elements.  We can't help but wonder, if maybe, Sasquatch, found them first.

And the tension mounted as the votes rolled in and that question was, will Speaker of the House Mike Johnson keep his job?  Of course he found a few votes and got the Speakership but according to Mass Hysteria, the tension was real.  But this is nothing like you or anyone else you know, ever, losing their job.  You know trying to figure out how to pay the bills, keep a roof over your head and food on the table.  No, Mike Johnson, if had he lost his job as Speaker, would still be a member of the House from 4th District of Louisiana.  And better still, draw a salary and of course keep his net worth.  And that net worth is...  Drum roll please, 6 million dollars!  

So bad as he might feel, he could go home and just look at his bank account.  Oh wait, Mike Johnson says he doesn't have a bank account.  No, according to him his salary and all his money, goes to his wife.  That begs the question, how much is she worth?  And the answer is...  Another drum roll please, 10 million dollars!  So, even if he lost his job as Speaker, this would have been, 'don't cry for me Louisiana, the truth is, I got 16 million dollars and I would never leave you'.*  And that is especially apropos, as a lot of the Johnson's millions, are tied up in real estate, Louisiana real estate.

And Rapper 2 Low, what you never heard of him?  Well he's a Rap artist and as you know it helps if you're a Gangsta while being a Rap artist and all Gangsta's have to have guns.  This goes back, way back to Little Ricco.  So he's getting interviewed on a Podcast and his gun goes off.  It's in his pants.  Lucky for him it only shot a hole in his pocket so he's still 2 Low not 1 or 0 Low.  The whole scene plays as a good advertisement for Gun Safety lessons.  But sometimes when you don't lose something, it's as good as if, you found something.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

* With apologies to Andrew Llyod Webber and Tim Rice