CNN We Hardly Knew Ye

There is this song 'Johnny We Hardly Knew Ye'* and it's sung to the same tune, as the song 'When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again'.  But unlike the Johnny who comes marching home from war to "the men will cheer the boys will shout, the ladies they will all turn out".  This Johnny We Hardly Knew Ye^, will go off to war and be unable to come marching home triumphant because he's lost his legs and an arm.  In some renditions of the song, he's also blind.  This Johnny is sitting in front of his beggars bowl when he is met by his lover and his child.  He is so maimed by war, that she almost doesn't recognize him and almost passes him by.  Hence the "Johnny we hardly knew ye."  For you romantics out there, she does take him home.  But we think these two songs are very apropos of CNN, especially the latter one.

Back in the day when cable TV just burst out all over, CNN was all over the place.  If you walked through an airport, CNN was playing on every TV outlet they had.  If you went for a haircut or were just sitting somewhere that decided to have a TV on, there was CNN.  And then just like both Johnnies, CNN went off to war.  At first it was all good.  When we bombed Baghdad back 1991 CNN newsmen were in Baghdad, reporting as the bombs were falling.  CNN became the number one news source.  And they called themselves.  "The most trusted name in news."  They would also have a voice come on just before they would show a commercial, to intone.  "You are watching CNN."  They were just like Johnny Marching Home triumphant.

But then came the fake stories and the hoaxes, too numerous to even begin to mention here.  But they were all reported dutifully, as if they were news.  Slowly but surely, even the most partisan of followers began to drift away.  No matter how angry someone maybe over whatever, they don't want to hear black helicopter conspiracy theories, which unfortunately, seem to be the only kind of people, still watching CNN.  Last week CNN had a viewing audience of just under 400,000 an hour.  How bad is that?  Well channels like HGTV and old reruns of Jerry Seinfeld that everyone has seen at least five times, draw bigger audiences.  Hell, even 'Duncanville', draws has more viewers.  Who?  It's some cartoon show no one here has ever heard of but it has an audience of 500,000.  There are 335 million people in the United States of America.  That means 99.999% of the American people, are not watching CNN.

So like Johnny sitting in front of the beggars bowl, CNN, We Hardly Knew Ye.

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*Joseph B. Geoghegan

^Patrick Gilmore

Star Crossed Lovers

Lunden Roberts is ready to speak out.  If the name doesn't ring any bells, it's because she's been in the shadows all this time.  She's the baby's momma of three time, convicted felon, Hunter Biden.  But she's ready to tell it all in her book, 'Out of the Shadows'. 

Now contrary to all who thought they knew, Lunden and Hunter did not meet in the Strip Club.  They met at a private party in the offices of Hunter's investment company.  Hunter was in his boxer shorts and that answers the question boxers or briefs for him but the boxer shorts had all these big red hearts on them.  Hunter was busy setting up all his drugs for later consumption.  Then their eyes met and Hunter had the most beautiful blue, grey eyes Lunden had ever seen.  Now we're not sure if it was the boxers with the red hearts, the drugs or his blue, grey eyes, as we only got to read an excerpt in the NY Post, the book doesn't come out till August but it was Kismet.

Of course everything was going along just peachy keen.  Things always do at first with Star Crossed Lovers.  Hunter was still seeing his dead brother's wife.  In fact, Lunden met the wife of the dead brother.  Maybe everything was headed for a Throuple, when Lunden got pregnant.  That put the kibosh on the whole thing.  Hunter said it wasn't his.  But then Hunter, got his Maury moment.  He was the father.  

And, all this time Lunden has kept silent.  Their baby girl Navy, is 5 years old now.  Lunden had to make sure her baby's future was secured.  The courts did that.  But now, she is ready to stand up for herself, strong woman that she is.

And rumors are swirling about, that the Ben Affleck/J-Lo marriage, has hit the rocks.  This is the second time around for them.  They met and had a whirlwind romance back in 2002.  They made a real bad movie together 'Gigli' and almost got hitched.  But as they neared the alter back in 2004, they called it off.  Twenty years later it was Kismet, once again.  This time they only made a real bad commercial together for Dunkin Dounuts and they managed to do, the I do's.

Maybe as the song says and Sinatra sang so well "Love is lovelier the second time around."  Then again Star Crossed Lovers almost never, actually that is a never, get a second bite at the apple.  That's the whole point of the Star Crossed in Star Crossed Lovers.  Think of Romeo and Juliet going through the whole thing again. And Paris and poor Helen and the whole sacking of Troy, all over again.  So Ben and J-Lo, make another bad movie and a bad commercial but divorce!  Just say it isn't so.  Say it isn't so.

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Shut Up Time

The question is.  What are you going to do about it.  Or as we used to say in the old neighborhood.  "Whata're you gonna do aboutittt!"  If you notice there is no question mark at the end of that.  It wasn't used as a question.  This would be invoked after someone had unwisely run their mouth, antagonizing someone else because they had nothing better to do.  But doing it till the person being antagonized, would have had enough and invoked.  "Whata're you gonna do aboutittt!"  And that, was a throw down.  It was the slap in the face, requesting a duel.  It was now put up or shut up time.  Since the original culprit was just running their mouth, 9 times out of 10, they would just shut up.  They never had any intention or ability to put up, so they just shut up.

This came to mind after one Anthony Fauci appeared before Congress for the umpteenth time and Wanna be a Big Bad, Tough Guy, Congressman, Jim Jordan told one Anthony Fauci.  "You lied!"  Fauci said.  "Who me?  Me, lie!  I never lie!"

Of course this Fauci guy has lied so many times, we don't think anyone could count it all up.  And his answer sounded a lot like Al Pacino, when he played Tony Montana in 'Scarface' and said.  "I always tell the truth.  Even when I lie."  Maybe Fauci should have used that line.  But better still he could have used our old line.  "Whata're you gonna do aboutittt!"

Obviously, Wanna Be a Big Bad Tough Guy, Congressman Jim Jordan isn't going to do anything.  So it's shut up time for Wanna be a Big Bad, Tough Guy, Congressman, Jim Jordan.

For Hunter Biden it was that moment when his ex-sister-in-law/girlfriend revealed a text message that showed Hunter was waiting for Mookie.  No, old time Mets fans not your Mookie, Mookie Wilson but Mookie the drug dealer.  That showed one of the jurors and eventually all the jurors, that Hunter Biden was a druggie with a gun.  Exactly what he was charged with.  So it's shut up time for one Hunter Biden, son of President Old Brains Biden.

For all you Old Brains President Biden lovers and there were 81 million of you in 2020, don't despair, his boy will probably only get probation.  But even if he does time, it will be in a minimum security facility that has a swimming pool, a 9 hole golf course and pickleball courts.  And, he'll be out in a few months.

And for those of you thinking what about Trump?  Well we're waiting for the sentencing.  We need to see if he's sent to prison.  Then if he still runs for President, while in prison.  If he gets elected or not, while in prison.  And then we'll know, it's shut up time.  But until then, we just don't know.  And, we don't know who it will be shut up time for either.

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Government For Dummies

There used to be books about Personal Computers or Coding and all manner of things.  Things that were new or things that were old.  But things we had to learn how to do.  These books would be called 'Computers for Dummies' or 'Coding for Dummies' or even 'Sex for Dummies'.  Like we said things that people had to know how to do and might not know how to do.  But these books would put you on the right path.  Unfortunately for some, they don't put those books out anymore.  Quel dommage.

Well it seems that we need another of these books and it's 'Government for Dummies'.  It seems that Four Star Admiral Robert Burke, pictured above and second in command of the United States Navy, got caught in a quid pro quo.  He agreed to steer a contract towards a certain unnamed company in return for a job after he retired from the Navy.  If there was a book 'Government for Dummies', it would have explained to Four Star Admiral Burke, that you steer the contract to the company.  Then you retire.  You then wait the 18 months that is usually a requirement of high government officials who procure contracts with private companies and then you send in your resume.  The only kind of person who would do it the way Four Star Admiral Burke did it, is...  you guessed it fans...  a Dummy!

And next up is New York City Councilman Harold 'Hesy' Tischler who got recorded offering to buy a New York Fire Department Inspector a Pastrami and a Corn Beef sandwich, complete with pickles, coleslaw and a coke.  This all happened when two neighbors in the Councilman's district got into a dispute over a Propane Gas tank that one of the neighbors had in his yard.  And, we're sure the Councilman will say he didn't literally mean to buy the Inspector a sandwich, just that he was trying to resolve the dispute and it was his way of saying.  "Let's end this and we can all break bread together."  But since this is New York City, he used the words "Pastrami" and "Corned Beef with pickles, coleslaw and a coke" instead of bread.

We're pretty sure nothing will happen to the Councilman other than he'll get re-elected next time he runs.  But the 'Government for Dummies' book would explain that it's the 21st Century, so the Councilman should have assumed that everything is recorded and not gotten into this mess.  The book 'Government for Dummies' would also explain to the FDNY Inspector, that anytime, anyone says anything, remotely like this to him, he should yell.  "I'm a New York City Employee!  I work for the People of the City of New York!  I don't want no stinkin' sandwich!"  Or any other sinkin' thing, he may get offered.

Consider this article, a Public Service Announcement.  And Books for Dummies people, get crackin'.

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