CNN We Hardly Knew Ye

There is this song 'Johnny We Hardly Knew Ye'* and it's sung to the same tune, as the song 'When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again'.  But unlike the Johnny who comes marching home from war to "the men will cheer the boys will shout, the ladies they will all turn out".  This Johnny We Hardly Knew Ye^, will go off to war and be unable to come marching home triumphant because he's lost his legs and an arm.  In some renditions of the song, he's also blind.  This Johnny is sitting in front of his beggars bowl when he is met by his lover and his child.  He is so maimed by war, that she almost doesn't recognize him and almost passes him by.  Hence the "Johnny we hardly knew ye."  For you romantics out there, she does take him home.  But we think these two songs are very apropos of CNN, especially the latter one.

Back in the day when cable TV just burst out all over, CNN was all over the place.  If you walked through an airport, CNN was playing on every TV outlet they had.  If you went for a haircut or were just sitting somewhere that decided to have a TV on, there was CNN.  And then just like both Johnnies, CNN went off to war.  At first it was all good.  When we bombed Baghdad back 1991 CNN newsmen were in Baghdad, reporting as the bombs were falling.  CNN became the number one news source.  And they called themselves.  "The most trusted name in news."  They would also have a voice come on just before they would show a commercial, to intone.  "You are watching CNN."  They were just like Johnny Marching Home triumphant.

But then came the fake stories and the hoaxes, too numerous to even begin to mention here.  But they were all reported dutifully, as if they were news.  Slowly but surely, even the most partisan of followers began to drift away.  No matter how angry someone maybe over whatever, they don't want to hear black helicopter conspiracy theories, which unfortunately, seem to be the only kind of people, still watching CNN.  Last week CNN had a viewing audience of just under 400,000 an hour.  How bad is that?  Well channels like HGTV and old reruns of Jerry Seinfeld that everyone has seen at least five times, draw bigger audiences.  Hell, even 'Duncanville', draws has more viewers.  Who?  It's some cartoon show no one here has ever heard of but it has an audience of 500,000.  There are 335 million people in the United States of America.  That means 99.999% of the American people, are not watching CNN.

So like Johnny sitting in front of the beggars bowl, CNN, We Hardly Knew Ye.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

*Joseph B. Geoghegan

^Patrick Gilmore