Every once in awhile we have a quiz. You remember these things from grade school. You'd show up and the Teacher would tell you. "Today we're having a quiz." It would be short but you would have had no time to study for it. This is when the concept, that life isn't fair, began to dawn on you.
Question 1. Tim Walz, Momala Harris's pick for the dem VP slot was...
A. One of the guys who planted the flag on the top of Mr. Suribachi.
B. The most decorated soldier of the Viet Nam War and subject of the book 'The Da Nang Killer'.
C. Democratic Party's new Vice Presidential candidate and the guy who said. "Do you want to live forever?"
D. An Army reservist who when he found out his Company was headed for Iraq, retired so fast he was home in bed before the ink on the paperwork dried.
E. The man who said. "Burn baby burn."
Question 2. California's Governor Gavin Newsome was seen cleaning up homeless encampments because...
A. He was caught spray painting graffiti in downtown Los Angeles and subsequently sentenced to 100 hours of community service.
B. His ten year plan to solve the homeless crisis in California expired 6 years ago and he felt he had to do something.
C. He desperately wanted some attention, as his plans to steal the nomination from Old Brains Biden went awry.
D. He may have to find a new career because his plans to steal the nomination from Old Brains Biden went awry.
Question 3. Three wannabee terrorists have been arrested in Austria for planning an attack at a Taylor Swift concert that was going to be held in Vienna. The motive for this was...
A. They're terrorists or wannabee terrorists, it's what they do.
B. They said she's nothing but a 'Ho' and she gets way too much attention for someone who can't sing much.
C. The three wannabee terrorists dropped a whole lot of money on last year's Superbowl. They said. "F*ck Travis Kelce!"
D. All of the above.
Question 4. J-Lo and Ben Afflack are getting divorced because...
A. According to her people, he's a triple A-h*le.
B. It was the commercial they made for Dunkin Donuts.
C. She's been married and divorced three times and had 7 other major, well publicized relationships and she's dumped everyone else, why not Ben Afflack? In fact, it's the second time for him. It's what she does. He should have seen it coming.
D. All of the above.
Answers
Question 1. The correct answer is D. Now answer C might have confused you as WOWTMSM (What Once Was The Main Stream Media) has been saying he's the dems VP but the party hasn't confirmed him as yet. And a whole lot of people are trying to tell you that his reserve service makes some kind of hero but the truth hurts here.
Question 2. The correct answer is C. Now D sounds very similar but we're pretty sure Home Boy has socked away many many millions, just like most everyone else in the elected business, so he won't ever need another career.
Question 3. The correct answer is A. Taylor Swift concerts attract a whole lot of people and that's why they picked her. It was nothing personal, just business, the terrorist business. A whole lot of her fans were seen crying on camera, as the Austrian police cancelled all her concerts in Vienna and her fans didn't get to see her. But maybe they should just be happy they didn't become statistics. Note to DJT, maybe you should hire these Austrian Cops.
Question 4. The correct answer is D. All of the above. Now some of you might be saying. "The commercial? Why would that...?" To that we say, watch it again.
Scoring. Give yourself 25 points for every correct answer. There are no partial points for any of these questions even though some of the answers might have been a little bit confusing. Like we said, part of the function of a quiz, is learning that life isn't fair.
If you got a 100 congratulations! You got it, going on. We will tell you in a future column where to pick up your prize. Keep tuning in to this site. If you got 75, or even just 50, that's okay. This one was a little tough. If you got anything less... Seek help.
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