Monday, April 28, 2025

They Died In Office

Mortuis Honoris Datus


William Henry Harrison the hero of the battle of Tippecanoe. Sworn in March 4, 1841 where he caught a bad cold and then died April 4, 1841. Historians who rate Presidents always rate this guy near the bottom but that's not really fair, as he was dead for 3 years and 11 months of his first term. Some of these historians are meanies.

Abraham Lincoln Sworn in March 4, 1861 assassinated April 14, 1865. One of the great tragedies in American history. He was shot in the back of the head in Ford's theater while watching the play 'Our American Cousin'. His wife wanted to see the play. He should have let her go and stayed home. Both General Grant and Capt. Robert Todd Lincoln, Lincoln's son, declined to go as they were tired. No, there was no internet, cable TV, streaming or even the old broadcast TV. That's why they had to go to Ford's theater. Like we said, one of the great tragedies in American history. 

James A Garfield Sworn in March 4, 1881, shot on July 2, 1881 and then died two and a half months later on September 19, 1881. Garfield is usually ranked somewhere in the middle of the pack. Like in the 20's which might be kind of nice. Considerably nicer than they rank Harrison, seeing as how Garfield was only President a few months longer than ole Tippecanoe. So it could be just a nice gesture for a guy who got shot. Or it could mean these historian meanies, just hate twenty or so other guys who were President, a whole lot more.

BTW Robert Todd Lincoln was Garfield's Secretary of War and an eye witness to the assassination.

William McKinley Sworn in March 4, 1897 shot on September 6, 1901 and dies a week later on September 14, 1901. This assassination thing is getting to be a bad habit for this young nation. McKinley is ranked pretty high. He's usually in the top 20. The moral of the story here is, don't try to shake hands with a guy who has his hand wrapped in a handkerchief. This guy, the assassin, Leon Czolgosz, had a gun in his.

BTW Robert Todd Lincoln was just outside of the building when McKinley was shot.

Warren G. Harding. Sworn in March 4, 1921 and died of a heart attack August 2, 1923. Warren G, returned the died in office, back to natural causes, instead of getting shot. Harding was a very popular President while alive but after he died, there were all kinds of scandals that came out. People getting caught with their hand in the till and well it seemed Warren G, cheated on his wife. Sort of like a whole lot of Presidents that came after him. The history meanies don't rate him too high, while they rate some of the other guys who had scandals and cheated on their wives, a lot higher.

FDR Sworn in March 4, 1932, died April 12, 1945 from a brain hemorrhage. Hey the guy ran and got elected four times. He was in office for over 12 years, what did anyone expect? He was going to live forever? But the whole country was in shock and saddened. A whole lot of people didn't even remember the guy before him.

JFK Sworn in January 20, 1961, assassinated November 23, 1963. And, now it was back to getting assassinated, as the reason for died in office. This assassination is the first one caught on film. Then the unfolding events, the shooting of the assassin Lee Harvey Oswald, the funeral and the unending commentary where the TV talking heads would get all choaked up, were all on TV. This is also one of the great who dun it's, as almost no one believes the official document, The Warren Report, on the assassination anymore.

BTW Robert Todd Lincoln wasn't at this one. So far as we know.

Joe Biden. Sworn in January 20, 2021 and you may say he's still walking around but trust us, he's dead. When the leaders of your own party, a whole lot of the Cognoscenti of the Known World, the TV Talking Heads and actor George Clooney, tell you not to run right in the middle of your re-election campaign, it means you're dead. Even if you're still walking around in the White House.

While we don't have a date for the funeral trust us, it's already planned; the burial plot picked out, his obituary written, the media has the little 1 and 2 minute video clips, that will encapsulate his life, all set up and ready to go. President DJT's staff has already written his remarks as well. Remarks, where he doesn't call him Sleepy Joe or the worst President of all time. DJT will just say a few nice things because Joe Biden will be among the mortuis honoris datus, the honored dead. The funeral home is just waiting for the phone call.

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