Some People Had A Really Bad Year

First up Amber Heard.  She started the year off as Aquaman's love interest in what looks like series of movies that will spawn many sequels.  And, she was also a bonified member of the Metoo victim class with her claims that her ex-husband and well known actor Johnny Depp, beat her.  She ended the year down 10 million or so and everyone now knows she liked to use her bed, the one with Johnny Depp in it, as a toilet.  Somewhere echoing amid the background music in this sad, little tale, is the old saying.  "You'll never work in this town again."

Next up, Todd and Julie Chrisley who were the stars of their own reality TV show 'Chrisley Knows Best'.  With Todd the Real Estate tycoon in charge of his empire holding court on this TV show.  But then reality caught up to them.  Turns out the Real Estate Empire was built on fraudulent loans they got from banks and money they didn't pay the IRS.  Now, they're both starting their 12 year stretch in Federal Prison and they have to cough up 17 million, in fines.  Maybe Chrisley Knows Best wasn't the best idea as a title or a career choice either.  When you're a thief, it's not a good idea to show off the stolen merch on TV.  Maybe the background music here could be, "Jailhouse Rock."

Then there was poor Will Smith.  He must have wondered as we did, what with all the allegations of abuse by the hands of powerful men in both Hollyweird and the Mass Hysteria...  Why didn't one of those women have a husband, a boyfriend, an older brother, a younger brother or an uncle, who could have smacked the crap out of those nasty guys?  If they had, wouldn't that have been great?  Then Will Smith must have taken it one step farther.  Why don't I, me, Will Smith, be that guy?

So Will must have worked it out with his good friend Chris Rock.  They figured that since Chris was one of the Hosts at the Academy Awards all they had to do is have Chris say something nasty about Will's wife actress Jada Smith.  Then Will would come up and smack him.  But like they say, the best laid plans of mice and men.  

So, while Chris is 5 feet 10 inches tall, he's a real skinny guy.  And, Will, well he's over 6 feet tall and heavier, a lot heavier.  So when he smacked Chris it didn't look like the scene in the movie where the good guy gives the bad guy what he deserves.  No, it looked like the big kid beating up the little kid.  And, the camera wasn't set up right.  If they would have taken the shot from behind and below Will, it wouldn't have looked so bad.  Chris would have looked taller, bigger.  And, there wasn't enough light.  The optics were bad, really bad.

So Will Smith had to go on an apology tour which never works.  When you're cast as the bad guy, the mob nowadays, doesn't want to hear you're sorry.  They want blood.  So, of course that didn't work.  But now Will has a movie coming out and just before Christmas too.  So, maybe in the spirit of the season, people will forgive.  Or maybe, with the mob having all these other people to skewer in the last year, people have just forgotten.  So, maybe they go and see the movie.  Then again, maybe the background music to this sad, little tale just might be, "Thanks For The Memories."

All in all, some people won't be sad to see 2022 end.  They had a really bad year.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

Our Man Of The Year 2022

Well, it was almost Elon Musk.  We mean the man who bought Twitter and announced.  "This is a battle for the future of civilization.  If free speech is lost even in America, tyranny is all that lies ahead."  

But then we looked at the numbers.  77.8 million Americans are on Twitter and like wow!  But that also means that 252.2 million Americans are not.  A further look at the numbers reveals that only 45 million of those tweeters use Twitter on a daily basis.  That means 285 million Americans or 86% of the population, do not.  This means that most Americans never, even look at it.  So, if your tweet got banned, as one of ours was, odds were, no one was going to see it anyway.  Boo hoo babies.

Of course Elon also has space ships and rockets but so far they've only gone up and down.  They haven't gone, where no one has gone before.  They haven't gone anywhere at all.  Except up and down.  Of course he has his electric cars but only the rich can afford them.  So, sorry Elon, not this year.  But maybe next year.

And, that brings us to the guy above.  The Man Who Would Be King.  We mean, he has been the Man Who Would Be King for decades and now, he is King Charles the III.  He got over being dumped by Princess Di and skewered by all her followers in and out of the Mass Hysteria, for quite a few decades.  Then he got to marry the woman he loved and unlike the other guy who tried that, he got the Crown too.  Also, somewhere along the way he lost that nerdy, doofus looking persona he used to have and now, he looks distinguished.  Maybe it's the white hair or maybe the guy just added some character along the way.  Some people do.  Either way, as you can plainly see, if anyone ever looked like a King, it's this guy.  

So, here's to our 2022 Man Of The Year, King Charles III.  Long live the King.

Runner ups were Amy Schneider Jeopardy Champion of Champions, who would have been our Woman Of The Year or Transgendered Woman Of The year, whichever she preferred.  Great Thunberg who would have been our Kid Of The Year.  Then it was a toss up between Amber Heard, Kanye West and whole bunch of  people who got fired over there at CNN, all of whom shed a river of tears.  If any one of them had been picked, they would have been our Cry Baby Of The Year.

But cheer up also rans and everyone else too.  As, they used to say in Brooklyn for their beloved Dodgers and now they say it up in the Bronx for the Yankees.  Wait till next year.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

Election Reflections

On Tuesday November 8, 2022 voters elected Tony De Luca to the U. S. House of Representatives in Pennsylvania and Barbara Cooper to the State House of Tennessee.  Then in Chula Vista California, Simon Silva, was leading in the race for City Attorney.  You may wonder why we take note of these three candidates when so many others were running?  And, the answer is, they were all dead, on Tuesday November 8, 2022.  Now, inquiring minds might wonder who would vote for a dead candidate?  Why dead voters, of course.

And, we still can't find out who won that election out in Chula Vista but does it matter?

And, Ron DeSantis crushed his opponent in the race for Governor of Florida.  And rumblings of DeSantis for President began shake the Political Arena from all corners of the The Mass Hysteria and even in certain quarters of the GOP.  Of course this would put DeSantis and Trump on a head to head collision course for the Republican nomination.  We can imagine the entire Political World shaking to its core.  And, we think this would be the biggest thing since John Cena took on Randy Orton in the WWE.  The WWE is World Wrestling Entertainment.  Of course, after a bunch of vicious Primary battles, and after the entire Political World has been shaken to its core, both candidates just might decide to run together.  One, as President and the other, as Vice President.  In which case, this would become the biggest thing since Dwayne The Rock Johnson came out of retirement and teamed up with John Cena, to take on The Miz and R-Truth in the WWE.

As we went to press, there were 6 Congressional districts where they are still counting the votes.  Back in the 1800's Americans could count up all the votes and know who won, when the Sun came up in the morning.  In the 1900's even though the population had grown in leaps and bounds Americans again, could count up all the votes by sunrise.  But now in the 21st Century, even with computers, the counting of votes, eludes us.  

Maybe it's the result of the poor education system in America.  Maybe the knowledge of how to count will disappear the same way the knowledge of how the hell did they build those pyramids, was taken to the grave, with the ancient Egyptians and Mesoamericans.  Maybe democracy doesn't die because this or that candidate gets elected or The Supreme Court gets something woefully wrong.  Maybe this whole thing disappears not like the ancient Greek and Romans, because of some fatal flaw or slow moral decline but just because, we couldn't count.

Dicens simile factum est 

Pro Bono Publico

We Needed That

Tom Brady wistfully admitted that he watches every New England Patriots game.  In case you didn't know, Tom Brady used to be the Quarterback of the New England Patriots and for twenty years too.  They won six Super Bowls together.  Then Tom bolted through free agency, to sign with The Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  And, even though Tom won another Super Bowl with Tampa Bay, he admitted that he still dutifully, watches every Patriots game, just like every other tried and true Patriots fan, who gave their heart to that ballclub.

We're not sure if Tom's statement is like 'Citizen Kane' mouthing "Rosebud" with his last dying breath.  Or it's Rick in 'Casablanca' when he tells Ilsa.  "We'll always have Paris."  But we're thinking it's something akin to that.  We mean life is hard, people and things die or pass on but then, well, some people are able to put it in perspective, give it meaning with some poignant words.  Words, that soothe the soul and give all of us hope, to carry on.  So, thank you Tom Brady.  We needed that.

And, while we're on the subject of The NFL, The Jets beat the Bills!  OMG!  No that was double OMG!!  Now some of us here are old enough to remember January 12, 1969 when Joe Namath and the Jets won their only Super Bowl but most Jet fans nowadays, weren't even born yet.  The best memories for most Jet fans of today, is their team managed to get to the AFC Championship game twice, where they lost.  Not much to hang on to.  But last Sunday The Jets beat the division leading rivals and showed the world that these Jets, these 2022 Jets, are for real.  So, thank you New York Jets.  We needed that.

As Nick Cannon celebrates the coming of his 12th child by his 6th baby's mommy, a Psychologist Jo Hemmings, thinks that Nick maybe be on a quest to validate his masculinity both emotionally and physically.  Psychologist and Relationship coach Jo Hemmings, also said that this could be addictive for Nick Cannon.  And, we all know that addiction of any kind, whether it be drugs, alcohol or even sex, is bad, very bad.  But this is all good news for the rest of the male population.  Why?  Because the men here and rest out there, now know, we don't have to follow in Nick's footsteps, to validate our masculinity.  We are free to do other things like playing ball, drinking and chasing women.  And, we can use condoms too  We don't have to get anyone pregnant.  Or get STDs either.  So, on behalf of men everywhere, thank you Psychologist and Relationship Coach, Jo Hemmings.  We needed that.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

Whatever Happened To...

Whatever happened to Greta Thunberg?  We haven't heard from her in awhile.  You must remember her.  She was the poster child for Global Warming, which is now called Climate Change.  She famously exclaimed with a twisted, angry face, "How dare you!" to the adults of this world because they were all ruining the planet.  But lately...  Where is she?  Was her sail boat lost at sea, as she made her way around the world to warn the human race?  Or did she simply outgrow her role as the angry, petulant child, in the same manner as a whole boat load and think Titanic size boat here, of child actors, who disappeared as puberty took hold?  

Will we ever hear from here again?  Will she emerge ten years from now with a book about the long, arduous journey of her young life.  You know the story by now.  How she was an innocent child mouthing words she really didn't understand?  And, there was heartbreak too on this journey.  She didn't get the role of Wednesday in the new Adams Family movies.  And she wanted it so bad.  Then, there was abuse both physical and sexual.  And of course there was the whole downward spiral into alcohol and drugs.  You know those tell all books.  And, we have the title for her too.  'How Dare You!'.

And whatever happened to Chris Wallace?  And, it wasn't so long ago.  At one point he was the face of Fox News, their lead guy.  Then he signed a megadeal with CNN to the tune of  8 or 10 million a year to be the lead guy on their new Streaming service.  But CNN got sold and the guy who hired Chris got dumped and nobody signed on to the CNN Streaming service and it got dumped.  So then Chris got a show 'Talking To Chris Wallace' which if you have nothing to do on your weekends, you might have seen.  But not a whole lot of other people have.  In fact, reruns of Seinfeld draw a larger audience than 'Talking To Chris Wallace'.  It seems some people still want to talk to Chris Wallace but not too many want to watch.  Maybe old newscasters never die, they just fade away.

And what happened to those guys who used to call everyday to tell you your car warranty had expired.  Mine was still in full force and I would tell them that.  But now, well my car warranty has expired.  And, they never call.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

Getting The Last...

A Florida man Oscar Salazar stabbed his wife Byanca to death in the middle of an argument.  Then the man slit his own throat.  Talk about getting the last word in.

And former NY Times editor James Bennet lashed out a Publisher AG Sulzberger for not having his back when the staff and the subscribers of the NY Times were outraged at him and his career went in the toilet.  He had to resign.  Why were they all outraged?  Well Mr. Bennet let Senator Tom Cotton pen an Op-Ed on the pages of the NY Times.  Mr. Bennett was only the editor.  He didn't write anything, not a word.  But he allowed Senator Cotton who was a republican of all things, to write on the hallowed editorial pages of the NY Times.  We're not sure what happened to writing a letter to the Editor in response.  But the powers that be at The NY Times seemed to have had the last word here.  Bennet was driven to the cornfields over this, two years ago.  But now, Bennett is back and letting it all hang out, even if it's two years later.  In big bold letters of the the NY Post, Bennet said of  AG Sulzberger "He set me on fire and threw me in the garbage."  

Maybe Bennett is 'a has been' with his career in the rear view mirror but this only accentuates the importance, of getting the last word in.  Maybe there's a book coming with a few more last words?

And Conor Kennedy Scion of the Kennedy family.  BTW did you know what a Scion is?  We didn't.  We had to look it up which doesn't happen too often but it means 'a young twig or shoot of a plant'.  And, it also means 'a descendant of a notable family'.  Conor is the grandson of Bobby Kennedy.  Get it now, Scion?  You think maybe he's going to run for something?

But The Young Twig Conor just got back from fighting in the Ukraine or so he says.  He didn't tell anyone he was going, as he didn't want anyone to worry.  And, he didn't tell anyone who he was, when he got there.  He didn't want to be treated any differently.  Like the Ukrainians might know or give two bleeps.  And The Young Twig Conor said he had "no prior military training but he could carry heavy things and he was willing to die for Ukraine".  He's back now, so that last part didn't happen.  And, we're guessing he came back so he could get the last word in.  We mean, if he died in Ukraine who would do that for him, since no one knew he was there and the Ukrainians didn't know who he was?  And, how could he run for office if, he was dead?  Vote?  Yes. Run?  We're not so sure.

And yeah that's a picture of Taylor Swift at the head of this article.  The Young Twig Conor used to date her and we figured you'd rather look at her than some anonymous murder/suicide guy or a washed up ex-Editor of the NY Times or even a shot of The Young Twig himself.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

Maybe Not So Hot

With Gisele Bundchen saying she's had it with Tom Brady, it might be time to note that Brady may be considered the G.O.A.T. in terms of NFL Quarterbacks and he's won 7 super bowls but he's 0 for 2 in the major relationships department.  His baby's momma who he had a long relationship with, is the very beautiful and accomplished actress Bridgette Moynihan and she threw him out.  And, when one woman throws you out, well it might be things just didn't work.  But when a second woman throws you out, well, maybe you're not so hot.

And Bill Gates is quoted as saying that "a civil war is coming" in the United States.  It will be preceded by a hung election and then well, all hell will break loose.  Now, a whole lot of people including us, are trying to get his exact words but he seems to have said them at a conference held by Forbes magazine and no one can find an actual transcript or a recording.  As if that stuff matters anymore.  We're willing to stipulate that his words may have been taken out of context but then Bill Gates is another guy whose wife has just thrown him out, saying she's had enough.  So, maybe it doesn't matter what he actually said, as maybe he's not so hot either.  Yeah, yeah he's got billions but so do a lot of other people nowadays.

And we're not sure what is crazier.  The things that come out of the mouth of Kanye West or the people who repeat and react to them.  And, yeah Kim threw him out too but then well Kim threw a lot of guys out, so that doesn't automatically mean he's not so hot.  Not yet.

And Vladimir Putin celebrated his 70th birthday the other day and the Ukrainians blew up one of his bridges and real big one that leads from Russia to Crimea, to celebrate.  And, the Ukrainians are advancing on the Russian held Kherson and a whole lot of other places.  And yeah ole Vlad, he's not so hot anymore either.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico