Public Service Announcements

There is the old public service announcement.  'Don't Drink And Drive'.  You would usually see this on your TV around 3AM.  And you were still up at that hour watching TV because you were drunk.  Usually this was already after you got home, so it was a little late for the advice.  Now there is the newer public service announcement.  'Buzzed Driving Is Drunk Driving'.  Hopefully people see this before it's 3AM.  But it seems we need a new one and it doesn't matter if it's 3AM or even if your drunk or not.  It's 'Don't Drive Your Boat With Drugs In It'.

We're not talking a few joints here and there.  We're talking Kilos.  Maybe the public service announcement should say.  'Don't Drive Your Boat With Kilos In It'.

And J. Edgar Comey has been indicted on two counts based on lies he told to Congress.  This has to be a first.  No FBI Director has ever been indicted although maybe a few of them should have been, starting with J. Edgar Hoover himself.  Will Comey get convicted, don't bet on it.  If convicted will he do time?  Fuggettaaboutit!  But the public service announcement should be.  "Don't lie to Congress.  Remember you're under oath."  

Of course some may wonder about all the other people who lied to Congress.  You might say what about them?  And we'd like to give you a list of them too but there's not enough space here or in too many other places either.

And for those of you who regularly go to the gym, we're sure you've seen this.  Someone usually a Gen Y or Gen Z is sitting on one of the weight machines as pictured above.  They are in between reps and they are texting on their phone while others wait to use the machine.  We think the Public Service announcement should be.  'These machines are not phone booths.'.

This Public Service Announcement might not work too well as puzzled Gen Y and Z's might ask, what's a phone booth?

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The Needy

62 year old Celebrity Chef Valentino Lucin robbed three banks in one day!  Thus breaking the Dalton Gang's record of two banks in one day.  But better than the Daltons' back in Coffeyville Kansas in 1892, the 62 year old Chef did not get all shot up.  He even got to hold onto the money for a while, till the Police tracked him down.  Why would he do this?  Well his big restaurant went bust, he went chapter 11 and then he couldn't make the payments.  What do you do when you need a mortgage or a loan?  You go to a bank because that's where the money is.  What if you've gone bankrupt and your credit score is like 399?  You got no credit.  You can't borrow.  So now you know why the 62 year old Celebrity Chef, robbed the three banks.  He needed the money.

Just in case you're wondering what happened to the Daltons, well two of the brothers along with two of their cohorts were killed at the scene.  The last Dalton, Emmett got all shot up too.  But he survived his wounds, did his time and went on to be a early day Hollyweird Screenwriter.  Hooray for Hollyweird!

And a Florida Nurse Alexis Von Yates was sentenced to two years in prison for having sex with her 15 year old stepson.  She and her stepson were watching a horror movie and they got scared.  Next thing they knew they were clutching each other.  Von Yates then explained to her stepson that she hadn't had sex in two weeks and she was horny.  She also thought her husband who was at work wouldn't be back till morning.  But the husband came home early and caught them in flagrante delicto.  The boy ran out of the room with his pants around his ankles.  Von Yates tried to cover herself but the deed was done.  She knew it was wrong, so she took the plea deal and got the two years.

Now you may ask why would someone do something like this?  It's beyond stupid.  The kid is 15 how is he going to keep his mouth shut?  Not to mention that by any standard, it's immoral, illegal, incestuous, unconscionable.  So why?  Why?  But then Von Yates explained it best.  She was needy.

Now we save prayer for really serious things but this is starting to get real serious and fast.  As we head into the NFL's third week, both the New York Giants and the New York Jets are 0 and 2.  The Giants are facing the Chiefs who are also 0 and 2.  The odds of the Chiefs going 0 and 3 are not good.  The Jets are facing the Buccaneers and the Buccaneers are 2 and 0.  That's not good either.  So like we said maybe praying is a little too strong.  Maybe hopes or well wishes?  No, 0 and 3 is too ugly to bear.  Let's us pray.  Like it says at the top here.  This is about the needy.

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In The News

It was the New York Post that informed us that Katie Holmes, she used to be married to Tom Cruise btw, had chowed down on six chicken nuggets covered with caviar.  That cost her $100, a whole Benjamin!  And she did this at the U.S. Open.  And, we thought, aren't we glad we read this.  That's why she's pictured above.  We figured you'd like it too.

And Robert Mueller, the guy who was in charge of the Russia, Russia, Russia investigation has Parkinson's Disease.  This is news to who?  Anyone who remembers him mumbling through his appearance before Congress when he was explaining his report, knew this one.  Okay, okay maybe not the Parkinson's Diagnosis.  But the fact that the guy's brain wasn't working, was kind of hard to miss.  Come to think of it maybe there was something to this Russia, Russia, Russia thing back 2016.  It just got lost somewhere.

Then there is Charlie Sheen.  He of the Tiger Blood, crack cocaine, King of the escorts and porn stars.  The guy on 'Two and A Half Men' who bedded a never ending bevy of beautiful women.  And no one thought that role was much of a stretch for him.  Well now he has a new memoir, The Book Of Sheen.  In this memoir, Charlie tells how when he was on the crack pipe, he had sex with men.  Does that shock anybody?  Is anyone surprised?  And the big question, will this hurt his career?  We mean as an escort maven.  Not as an actor or a crack pipe aficionado.  Only time will tell.

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Last

Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift are engaged!  Or should we say Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are engaged!  We're not sure who gets top billing.  And they said it wouldn't last.  Actually we said it too but we've already established in previous articles that we, can be wrong.  We stand in contrast to all the rest of the players in the Journalism Matrix.  So, it's no big deal.

And we wish Travis and Taylor all the best.  Just a piece of advice though, don't become T&T or Swift-Kel or some other combination of your names.  That's a recipe for disaster.  Just ask Brangelina or J-rod.

And Cracker Barrel decided to change its famous Logo.  They decided to take the old guy Uncle Herschel and the Barrels off.  Why?  "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?"  The taking of Uncle Herschel off, was obviously ageism.  But the Barrels?  Kind of not too bright if the name of your Restaurant is Cracker Barrel.  Well their customers and fans revolted.  Worse than that their stock dropped like a rock.  Then came the kiss of death.  Donald John Trump 45th & 47th POTUS said they should make a U turn and bring back the Barrels and Uncle Herschel.  Faster than you could say Uncle Herschel, the U-turn was made and the old Logo was back.  Some things are just made to last.

Reacting to the fact that crime in D.C. has dropped precipitously while Chicago seems mired in a never ending crime wave, Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson proclaimed.  "We cannot incarcerate our way out of violence."  That sounds like a campaign slogan, if we ever heard one.  Let's see how long he lasts with that one.

Then there are the Colorado Rockies in the National League West Division.  They are 38 and 96.  That is 38 wins and 96 losses.  They are 39 games behind the Division leading Dodgers.  They are 28.5 games behind the next worse team in their division the Diamondbacks.  As they only have 28 games left in their season, they have no chance of ever catching those Diamondbacks.  And, that is what we call, coming in last.

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* Walter B. Gibson, from the radio show The Shadow

Who'd A Thunk It?

James Comey former Director of the FBI or as we like to call him, J. Edgar Comey, is facing an investigation by Congress and he might even be a subject in a Grand Jury proceeding.  But he's unbowed and defiant.  He finds solace and strength in...  No, not what you're thinking, as that was what we were thinking, Jesus.  No, no, he finds strength and solace in Taylor Swift and her music.  We're not sure but maybe it's the lyric.  "We are never ever getting back together."  Or it could be.  "Look what you made me do."

We're sure she's flattered.  And, we hate to be the ones who tell J. Edgar Comey this but...  You're no Travis Kelce!  Hell, he's not even J. Edgar Hoover.  No one ever dared, to investigate, J. Edgar Hoover.

And Hillary Clinton, HerHillaryness herself, has said that Donald John Trump POTUS 45 & 47 should be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, if he can arrange a peace treaty between Ukraine and Russia.  We're trying to find out if anyone ever called for Hitler to be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.  Hitler was Time Magazine's Man of the Year in 1938, so that might not be so far fetched as it may sound.  So far as we know, Hitler was never nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize but someone prominent, like HerHillaryess in that time period, might have called for it.  Why would someone have done that you ask?  Well something like Hitler called off the invasion of England for one.  Then when he withdrew his troops from North Africa.  Now we can't find where anyone like HerHillaryness mentioned Hitler for the Nobel Peace Prize, but if anyone out there can, please let us know.

Are you delulu?  Odds are if you are, you don't know it, as it means delusional.  Now this could be skibidi which means bad or cool or nothing.  All of this we hope makes you insopo, which is inspired to go and do something because of something you saw on the internet, like this article.  What are we talking about?  Well these are all new words entered into the Cambridge Dictionary.  These words come from Tik Tok, other social media and the internet.  And these words, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, are changing our world.

Now some people are stunned that the Cambridge Dictionary would put such silly words in their tome when no one will even remember them by next spring.  The Cambridge Dictionary is produced by Cambridge University founded in 1209 and it is one of the oldest and most revered Universities in the world.  How could they do such a thing!  Well we think, the whiners and complainers here are just skibidi or maybe even delulu.  They are most definitely not insopo.

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A Hill To Die On

We keep hearing and reading this phrase "that's a hill to die on".  Now we are used to political speech being filled with hyperbole and meaningless verbiage and one of our all time favorites will always be "a thousand points of light".  But this "hill to die on" thing, really has us confused.  We get the idea.  A place to make a last stand.  And it sounds like it's trying to be a historical reference too but what hill?  There was Bunker Hill which was actually Breed's Hill but a lot of the Colonials retreated.  They didn't all die up there.  Was Custer on a hill at the Little Big Horn?  Was the Alamo on a hill?  Do they mean San Juan Hill which was actually Kettle's Hill?  Teddy Roosevelt and his Rough Riders took that hill.  So, where is this hill?  We mean if you're going to die somewhere, you might want to know.  We want to know too.

And the Jeffrey Epstein story has become "a nothingburger", according to Harry Enten, a data analyst for CNN.  Now we don't believe CNN or any of the WOWTMSM, especially when they give us numbers.  But according to this Enten guy, these numbers are from Google searches.  Not some fake group of people they supposedly called on the phone, who think exactly as CNN wants them to.  Nor are they numbers from the government, which can be changed whenever anyone wants them to.  No, this came from Google searches, which could be faked once anyone begins to use them too often.  But for right now, the Google searches on Jeffrey Epstein have fallen by 89%.  Not too many people are much interested in him anymore.

It could be, because we pointed out that the government convicted him and Ghislaine Maxwell, without ever mentioning a client, so why would his files still have any of those names?  Or it could be as we pointed out, that even if those names became public, so a few meaningless, narcissistic nitwits would fall from various screens we look at.  Soon to be replaced by another group and BFD.  So it could be our observations, that put this story to bed.  So with that in mind, we have two more.

One, that Epstein was blackmailing powerful and famous people.  Fugettaboutitt!  Try it yourself and see what happens to you.  Only beat up, if you're lucky.  But the more obvious pin to that balloon is, would anyone keep hanging around with him? Would you?  We mean after you beat the bleep out of hm.  Epstein would have been the loneliest guy on the planet.  Even Ghislaine, would have left him.  Who wants to be the only guest at the party?

Two, you have to live in New York City to know this one and you have to have a sharp eye because you could miss this, if you walk by too fast.  But you can see it in the picture above, if you look closely.  The  Metropolitan Correctional Center where Epstein died, is on a hill.  So in spite of, or because of, the cameras not working, the guards falling asleep, Jeffrey Epstein found his hill to die on.  Even if he didn't want to.

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Who Would You Hire?

Sydney Sweeney pictured above, has made a commercial for American Eagle Jeans.  We've watched it five times.  Hey, we have to do research.  But we can't seem to find any inferences to the Nazis or the head Nazi, Adolph Hitler.  And since references to Nazis and the head Nazi Adolph Hitler, seem to pop up on almost a daily basis, we thought it was high time for a Hitler quiz.  We mean if you are going to compare A to B, you need to know what B is, otherwise your comparison is what?  So without further ado.

Question 1.  What High School did Adolph Hitler graduate from?

A. Vienna High School of the Arts.

B. Braunau am Inn High School.

C. Braunau am Inn Reformatory School.

D. Hitler never graduated from High School.

Question 2.  Before Hitler was Der Fuhrer what was his occupation?

A. Hitler was a Dentist who didn't use Novocaine.  He liked to watch his patients squirm.

B. Hitler never had an occupation.  He lived in a Shelter.  He was a homeless, day laborer.

C. Hitler was a Shoe Maker.

D. Hitler was a Journalist and part of the fake news media of his day.

Question 3.  Who was Geli Raubal

A. She was Hitler's niece.

B.  She was Hitler's girlfriend.

C. She was Hitler's niece and his girlfriend.

Question 4.  Hitler's ability to become Der Fuhrer, design economic policy for Germany, chart foreign policy, design military campaigns and run the entire government of Germany, came from his experience as...

A. His tenure at Konigliche Preubische Kriegsakademie.  Germany's West Point.

B. His experience as a day laborer and homeless guy, who lived in a Shelter.

C. His military experience.  He was a Corporal in WWI.

D. Damned if we know.

Answers.

1. D.  Hitler was a dropout.

2. B.  Hitler was a homeless guy who lived in a Shelter.  The only work he got was as a day laborer.

3.  A. B. and C.  We like to make one question real easy and Geli was Hitler's niece and his girlfriend, so no matter what you picked, you got it right.

4. D.  Damned if we know.  We hate to put a big pin in the balloon that has Hitler as the Evil Genius and the face of Evil but based on his resume, before he was the Fuhrer of course, we have to ask you one question.  Would you hire this guy?  Not as Der Fuhrer but like, as anything?  Our own theory is Hitler was a guy who could speak extemporaneously for quite awhile, without notes or index cards.  Just like a lot of would be Hollyweird stars, who wait tables, while hoping for the big break.  Or one of the Housewives of New York, Beverly Hills or wherever you like.  We kind of think of Hitler, as the first Housewife of Munich.  Nothing else, makes any sense.

But back to Sydney Sweeney.  She's an Actress with an impressive resume.  She's been in some big productions like 'The Handmaid's Tale', 'Euphoria' and 'Once Upon A Time In Hollywood'. She's also a producer.  She's way more qualified to be hired for a job, any job, than Adolf Hitler.  In short, there's no comparison here.

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