If It Looks Like The WWE...

We decided to add a new adage here and it's...  If it looks like the WWE, it is the WWE.  Now just in case you didn't know or never heard, the WWE stands for Worldwide Wrestling Exhibition also known as Professional Wrestling.  Professional Wrestling should not be confused with College or Olympic Wrestling, which are real competitions.  Professional Wrestling is synonymous with the term FAKE.  Professional Wrestlers do not actually hit each other over the head with chairs or jump off the top rope of the ring and land on their opponents.  Professional Wrestling is all choreographed and rehearsed.  Occasionally, something goes wrong and someone misses a cue and someone actually gets hurt.  But that's an accident not by design or a result of an actual competition.

So when Will Smith on his way to accepting his academy award for Best Actor stopped to slap Chris Rock, it looked like the WWE.  And, as we said.  If it looks like the WWE it is the WWE, which is as you know now, synonymous with FAKE.

But it was curious to watch people cheer Will Smith on or accuse him of all manner of perfidy.  You know the usual inanities that pass for supposed thoughts on the "issues" of the day but are merely people yelling.  "Look at me please!"  If only for a few moments.  Our favorite was Will being accused of "toxic masculinity".  Toxic masculinity or any form of masculinity would have been a shot to the solar plexus followed up very quickly with an elbow to the jaw or mouth.  And, it would have left Chris Rock on the floor trying to find his teeth.  Not a little slap that couldn't have squashed a grape, your grand mama could easily have ducked and only left Chris, trying not to laugh too hard.

But the idea behind this pantomime, stems from the ratings for the Oscars being in the tank for the last decade or so.  And, the hopes now, that if viewers think, that the presenters and the actors might start hitting each other when they win, lose or just don't like something someone says, maybe they'll tune in again.  Just like...  You guessed it fans, the WWE.

Of course with that in mind we nominate for next year's host of the Oscars, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson.  He's an actor.  He's funny.  And, he started out in Professional Wrestling.  Don't worry about anyone taking an actual swing at him.  None of them are that dumb.  No, this would all be choreographed just like the...  WWE.  

And The Rock, could even show them how.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

Stormy Weather

Stormy Daniels has defiantly and loudly proclaimed that she will not pay President Trump!  She will go to jail first!  For those of you who forgot or didn't know, Stormy Daniels along with her then attorney Michael Avenatti sued President Trump over a non-disclosure agreement, that she broke.  Then she and Avenatti ran around to every talk show that would have them, to tell of her tale of woe.  Which was she had a "date" with President Trump and then she got 130K to keep her mouth shut.  Then she got threatened to keep her mouth shut even though she'd gotten 130K to keep her mouth shut.  This was keeping her mouth shut after the "date", not during it.  

Now Stormy Daniels is not some reticent little waif, caught in the glare of a modern day media maelstrom, so we're not being salacious here.  Stormy is both a celebrity porn star and sex worker.  You can google her if you don't believe us.  And, according to her, the "date" with Donald Trump was a paid for affair.  But she wound up losing her lawsuit against Donald Trump, because it was pretty hard to show how the $130K, hurt her in any way.  Then the court also ruled that she had to pay President Trump's legal fees.  She appealed that decision and now she's lost that appeal.  But she says she will never pay.  We understand that too.  It's not the money.  It's the principal of the thing.  If she pays, she'll be the first sex worker in the history of the profession and it's the world's oldest profession, to have paid the client.  It's a dangerous precedent.  It's that slippery slope you always hear about.  And, it might ruin the whole thing.  We mean, if the sex workers wind up paying the clients, it will defeat the whole purpose.

Lucky for Stormy Daniels there are no debtor prisons in the US of A.  She'll have judgements that might be enforced against her future earnings but no jail.  She will not follow her attorney Michael Avenatti and Trump's attorney in this matter Michael Cohen, into the Hoosegow.  And, she should be happy about that.  But 'I will not pay Trump!  I'll go to jail first!' made a great headline.  And, in this age of narcissism and me, me me all the time, maybe that's all she wants here.  Maybe that's all she ever, really, wanted.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

"Single Combat"

Elon Musk and we like Elon Musk, has thrown down the gauntlet.  He has challenged Vladimir Putin to "single combat".  No word from Vlad as yet.  We're not sure what kind of a fight this would be.  Does Elon want a caged match like in the WWE?  In which case, it would all be choreographed and rehearsed like most everything else we see.  Or does Elon mean an MMA brawl where it would be all holy hell and for real?  Does Elon maybe even mean with weapons?  Like in days of old, with swords and axes and stuff?  Either way, the winner according to Elon, would get Ukraine.

What Elon would do with Ukraine we have no idea.  Would he be the President instead of Zelenskyy?  Hell, why not?  He would be the guy who saved the place.  Think President Grant here.  Maybe Elon could build electric cars there?  Or put up another launching pad for Space X?  But why would Vlad go for this?  Vlad lost thousands of guys, millions of dollars of stuff and if he lost the "single combat", what would all have that been for?  And, he might be dead.  We're not sure of Elon's fighting prowess but he's only 50.  Vlad on the other hand despite all the pictures of him with his shirt off and others where he's in a karate Gi, is closing in on 70.  That's the age where you can't touch your toes anymore and just bending over is a challenge. Single combat?  Not an viable option.

But we like the idea.  We mean if heads of state actually duked it out to settle conflicts instead of getting a whole lot of innocent people killed.  Now, this is not such a hot idea for America, as we had to go all the way back Dwight Eisenhower to find a President who actually kicked some ass in his life.  This was before his heart attack of course.  But all the others were either too old, too ill or no one could ever remember them being in an actual fight.  Before Ike we have to go all the way back to ole TR, Teddy Roosevelt.  Maybe if we could dig up Andrew Jackson, this might work for us.  Old Hickory was in some real duels, actually killed a few guys and always came out on top.  Barring that though, this is not a good idea for the US of A.  But for other countries this might work out just fine.  Saddam Hussein might still be running Iraq.  And Hitler?  Well you probably would never have heard of him.  Unlike Saddam who had to whack a whole lot of people in his rise to the top, Hitler only had to make speeches.  So, Hitler would probably be some homeless, WWI, PTSD Vet, wandering around Vienna, muttering "Mein Kampf, Mein Kampf." while he tried to sell his bad paintings to unsuspecting tourists.

Dicens simle factum est

Pro Bono Publico

Missed Opportunity

The NFL has suspended Atlanta Falcons Wide Receiver Calvin Ridley for a year. Why?  For gambling!  Seems he placed a parley bet on his own team for $1,500.00.  We find this a little hard to digest here.  Why?  Well, if you've watched any NFL games in the last few seasons, they advertise betting and the betting sites before and during the games.  Also, late at night when most degenerate gamblers are still wide awake.  The NFL wants people to bet via FanDuel, DraftKings or Caesars.  So, it's real easy to see how a player, any player might easily get confused.  "Don't they want me to bet too?"  Especially when you realize that the average NFL player has been banging his head into other players for at least a decade or so. 

But we think the NFL missed a great opportunity here.  Instead of suspending Calvin Ridley, they could have put him in one of their commercials where he explains the parley bet to all the fans.  That bet is a little complicated.  Especially to the novice bettor.  And, the NFL wants them too. 

We also wondered if it would have been all right with the NFL, if Calvin Ridley bet on the other teams and the other games?   We mean if his team is not playing and he's sitting home in front of his TV watching Monday or Thursday night Football and the commercials come on?  He's just another fan at that point.  And, he's got the head banging part down pat, so he'd fit right in with the rest of the fans who have been banging their heads into walls, as they watched their bets fail to cover the spread and their rent or mortgage money, along with their kids college fund, go down the drain. 

Speaking of College what if Calvin had bet the College games on Saturday, or the NBA or MLB?  What would be wrong with that?  What makes Calvin Ridley different from anyone else?  Why should he be out of work? Why can't he watch his rent or mortgage money, along with his kid's college fund, go down the drain, just like everyone else?

And, speaking of MLB, when are DraftKings, FanDuel or Caesars going to wake up and get Pete Rose to do their commercials!  Pitchers and Catchers have reported to camp and Opening Day is just around the corner. Ole Pete may be 80 years old but he's still compos mentis.  And, if there ever was a guy who could tell people the who, the what and the how to bet on baseball, it's the guy with the most base hits in the history of the Major Leagues, Charlie Hustle himself, Banned for Life from Major League Baseball for gambling, Pete Rose.  C'mon guys don't let this become a missed opportunity. 

Dicen simile factum est 

Pro Bono Publico 

Argue?

The President of the United States said.  "Vladimir Putin may surround Kyiv with tanks but he'll never gain the hearts and souls of the Iranian people."  Now who can argue with that?

And poor Kanye.  Kim has left him and he is beside himself.  Like we mentioned a while back, Kim has been married a few times but poor Kanye...  Well Kim was his only wife.  Kanye has tried dating others.  He even found a young woman who looks just like Kim but it's not working.  So Kanye has turned his heartbreak and subsequent ire on his replacement, a guy named Pete Davidson.  Pete Davidson is some kind of an actor/comedian but not in the same league as Kanye, entrepreneur, producer, actor, music video Artiste and just all around artist supreme.  This kind of reminds us of when Elvis's wife left him for her Karate Instructor.  And, Kanye has tried tweets, Tik Tok and gone on a few other locales to launch his tirades about Pete Davidson.  All to no avail.  Kim is still with Pete Davidson.  But since Kanye is a music video Artiste and all around artist supreme, he finally rolled out a music video on Pete, where he cuts Pete's head off.  Now we live in an age of political correctness and people getting divorced left and right, especially celebrities.  Then they all move on to someone else, so we have to like a guy who still believes in.  "All is fair in love and war."  Kanye wants to bury his rival and that's old school.  It's Medevil even.  Think the movie 'The Last Duel' here.  Who wants to argue with that?  Don't.  Kanye might cut your head off next.

And we have to make a correction.  We didn't think Putin was going to invade the Ukraine.  We thought he was going one way and he went the other.  We were wrong.  We apologize.  Unlike most everyone else in this journalism thing, we don't just forget about a faux pas and move on like nothing happened.  And, yeah we kind of put this at the end of the article hoping no one would notice too much.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

Pfft

It's that sound it makes.  The air rushing out of the balloon and the once smiling little creature deflates, zips away and turns into a little piece of crumbled rubber or whatever they make balloons out of nowadays. Pfft.

First off the Russians were supposed to invade the Ukraine.  Hell, Old Brains told us so.  So did the NY Times and most of the not so main stream media.  They even gave us a date Feb 15, the day after Valentine's Day.  But nothing happened, so the NY Times changed the date to Feb 16th but the Russians didn't come.  They didn't invade.  Maybe the Russians don't read the NY Times.  Maybe, all the Russians were doing on the Ukrainian border were military maneuvers.  Something any country that has been invaded as many times as Russia has, might do from time to time.  But we were supposed to see explosions, fire and quick rapid images of the dead, lying in grotesque poses.  Then Newscasters, would come on speaking rapidly with a great deal of angst in their voices.  Their faces spread all over the screens of our various TV, computer and streaming devices.  Then the Politicians, The Talking Heads and The Cognoscenti of The Known World, would all denounce the invasion with great vehemence and in multiple languages too.  But then... the air rushing out of the balloon, pfft.  Everyone was dressed for dinner but the guests just never showed.

Then there was the Olympics.  You know the music, dramatic, hopeful triumphant.  And, you know the images, beautiful young athletes, the world's greatest, competing and achieving amazing things.  The crowd roaring, the national anthems playing, the gold medals around the neck of the beautiful, now brought to tears by the enormity of it all, young athletes.  But then the athletes were all isolated and the announcers were left in the studios of their home countries.  This is Beijing, not that far from Wuhan and the Chi Coms were taking no chances with the virus some say, they cooked up in their own labs.  And, now you know why we call it the Kung Flu around here.  Then the people in the stands were few and far between.  The announcers many time zones away were unable to feel and seize the moment and scream something like.  "Do you believe in miracles?"  No crowd oohing, aahing or roaring.  It was all quiet.  You could hear the skates scrapping over the ice.  The biggest story to come out of these games was the 15 year old Russian figure skater, who had failed a drug test.  They let her skate anyway.  The hue and cry arose over that.  Then she took to the ice and led after the short program.  OMG!  What if she wins?  The world held it's collective breath.  Then the long program came.  She stumbled and fell.  No gold medal here.  The air rushing out of the balloon again, pftt once more.  The guests had arrived for dinner this time but they were late, the soup was cold and the hostess had gone to bed.

And Virginia Giuffre took the 12 million from Prince Andrew and scampered away.  In case you forgot or didn't know or hadn't heard, Virginia Giuffre was the victim who wouldn't go away.  She forced the Prosecutors to pursue Jeffrey Epstein, till he was arrested and then committed suicide, supposedly.  She forced the Prosecutors to arrest and then try Ghislaine, who is now convicted and facing life in prison.  We think Ghislaine will only get 5 to 15 and maybe do 3 but she is convicted.  All throughout this ordeal the world waited for names to be named.  Who among the Glitterati of the world have been having sex with little girls?  Was it former President Billy Bob?  Was it World Renowned Harvard Law Professor Alan Dershowitz?  Prince Andrew was named but who else?  Who else?  These questions get asked because this is a curious case of underage girls being procured to have sex with adults but none of the adults were ever tried, indicted, arrested or even named.  But now with Virginia taking the money, there had to be a NDA and well now... we'll never know.  It's pfft one more time.  No guests, no dinner and no dessert.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

One Night In Bangkok

Like the song goes.  "One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble.'

Can't be too careful with your company'.

Seems that Whoopie Goldberg made a faux pas the other day.  She crossed over that imaginary line between "light and shadow, science and superstition, things and ideas, she crossed into" and then she got whisked away to the cornfields for two weeks.  Of course in the old Twilight Zone, no one every returned from the cornfields,  It was that "undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveler returns."  But in the Twilight Zone that seems to be the world we live in today, maybe it's possible.  Then she can tell us just how unbearable not being on TV or having a microphone to rant into every day, is.  Also, losing the $93,000 a week.  That had to be tough.

And, we kind of get it.  She denigrated the Holocaust by pretty much saying that it was just a bunch of white people killing each other.  Yeah that's nasty.  We get it.  But saying angry and nasty things is what they do on that TV show The View, everyday.  It's what makes The View, The View.  So, Whoopie just has to be wondering...  Why me?  Now maybe, if she'd a just said the Holocaust was like Trump and his supporters killing each other, she'd a been okay.

Then over there at the Crumbling News Network aka CNN, the tough guys are tumbling so fast and furious it's hard to keep track of them.  First it was Andrew Cuomo who didn't actually work there but his brother did and he could be on that channel anytime he wanted.  We don't want to go over all the sexual harassment allegations leveled against Andrew Cuomo.  They are too numerous to mention.  But the next to tumble was his brother Chris, aka Fredo Cuomo, who did work there.  Why was he tumbled?  He violated journalistic ethics!  How?  By helping his brother fight off all those sexual harassment allegations, too numerous to mention.  We know, we know, you didn't think CNN had any ethics.  Neither did we.  But this Fredo actually helped his brother and got sh*t canned in the process.  Boo hoo.

BTW all the all the allegations, leveled at Andrew Cuomo too numerous to mention, have been dropped.  We wonder how that made the victims feel?  But we digress.  This poor Fredo, is also losing out out on the $18,000,000.00 that was left on his contract.  And, that has to be tough.

Next up were two producers over at the Crumbling News Network who are in various stages of being prosecuted for Pedophilia.  Whoa!  And, you don't need to check the journalist ethics rulebook for that one.  It's in the Penal Code.  But then Jeff Zucker, The President of CNN, The Head Honcho, got the boot!  Why?  Seems he and another employee were having a relationship and neither of them, reported it.  Now they're both single and over the age of consent, so I'm sure the people at CNN breathed a sigh of relief.  And, some people are even wondering what's the BFG!  But if you put your girlfriend up for a raise or promotion and people know she's your girlfriend, she probably won't get it.  That's why you would try to keep it on the down low.  That's not journalistic ethics, rearing its ugly head again.  That's just business.  Just like the song says.  "Can't be too careful with your company."  You don't want to tumble do you?

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico