What Were They Thinking?

On the first day of the Hamas Israeli War, there was some footage of a Hamas Guy flying in a motorized paraglider.  Assuming it was an actual Hamas Guy and not just some footage of someone on vacation in Arizona, (The Mass Hysteria has been known to do things like that.) it would have constituted the Hamas Air Force.  The Israelis then brought out their F16's, F35's and their Apache Helicopters, a real Air Force and began to bomb the Hamas Guys back into the stone age.  Which begs the question about the Hamas Guys.  What Were They Thinking?  Obviously not too much and pretty soon, maybe nothing at all.

And, President Old Brains Biden went to Israel to show support.  When asked about the bombing of the Gaza Hospital that seems to have been the result of a misguided Hamas missile, Old Brains Biden said.  "It's that old thing.  Gotta learn to shoot straight."  Now not to take things out of context, we watched the whole response and we can see Old Brains was trying to say that he didn't think the Hamas Guys fired at the Hospital on purpose.  But like a lot of stuff he says, it came out sideways but still, you've got to wonder. What Was He Thinking?  Obviously, not too well.

And Cher, the 80 year old singer who used to be married to a guy named Sonny, in case you don't remember, said in an interview that if Donald Trump gets elected in 2024 she'll.  "Leave the country!"  Thus adding her name to a long list of celebrities who have threatened to leave the country over one thing or another.  A list that includes: Bryan Cranston, Lena Dunham, Miley Cyrus, Whoopi Goldberg, George Lopez, Cher herself back in 2016, Chelsea Handler, Amy Schumer, Jon Stewart, Barbara Streisand, Chol Sevigny?  and Omari Hardwick?  Just to name a few.  And we put question marks after the names of people we never heard of but since the internet says they're celebrities, who are we to argue?  Of course none of these people ever, actually, leave the country, so it begs the question.  When they said this nonsense.  What Were They Thinking?

Did they think that the country seeing they were leaving would immediately reverse whatever the great transgression was that sent them into exile, rather than to try to exist without them?  Or the country would just collapse without their presence, thus rendering the great transgression null and void.  Or maybe it's just the like the little girl, when she's really, really angry and she says.  "I'm not talking to you ever, ever again!"  Or is it just some other thing we can't see?  You know it might be nice if the next time some celebrity mouths this missive, that someone in the vicinity of it ask.  "What's up with that?"  Or "What's that supposed to do?"

And, we used the picture at the top of this column of a guy in a motorized paraglider while on vacation, it looks like Arizona, just to give you an image to work with.  He's not a Hamas Guy invading Israel.  This admission is called, truth in Journalism.

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Secret Agent Man

Back in the bleak Cold War era of the 1950's through the 1960's, Spies or Secret Agents reigned supreme.  If not in real life, at least in books, movies and TV.  There were the solemn, plodding characters of John Le Carre novels.  Or the Napoleon Solo and Ilya Kuriyakin of the TV show The Man From Uncle or even the spoof of the genre guys like Maxwell Smart, of 'Get Smart' and Dean Martin as Matt Helm.  There was even a song about all these Spies and Secret Agents and it was appropriately titled 'Secret Agent Man'.  It went like this.

"There's a man who leads a life of danger.  With everyone he meets he stays a stranger.  With every move he makes, another chance he takes.  Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow."*

Of course the sui generis of all Secret Agents was James Bond aka 007.  James Bond was a connoisseur of fine wines, fine food and fine women.  He was elegant and he was lethal.  The 007 designation meant he had a license to kill and the British government would quickly and efficiently clean it all up.  Of course James Bond always had a gun, a Walther PPK.  And, we're kind of thinking that's what Hunter Biden, pictured above, had in mind when he sojourned out into the world, right after his father had become Vice President.

But we think poor ole Hunter only saw the movies and didn't read the books, so he sort of missed the mark a little.  Not his fault so much, as some of the movies missed the mark a little too.  Like the last one where James Bond cried, died and might have left a kid behind.  James Bond, the essential James Bond from the novels, must have always used condoms or had a vasectomy, as none of his women ever got pregnant.  STDs?  Maybe he did go with condoms but STDs were for the other guy.  And James Bond never smoked crack or did any drugs.  It was Vodka Martinis shaken not stirred.  And, he didn't make it with his dead brother's wife.  That would be tacky.  No, James Bond always had sex with women who were beautiful, hot and wanted him.  And, none of them ever got angry with him afterwards.  Unlike Hunter, whose dead brother's ex-wife hates him or the Stripper, who also hates him.  You know the one he got pregnant and doesn't want to pay child support for.

Maybe Hunter aimed too high.  But then maybe it's the quest that counts and not the destination so much.  Think of all the guys who searched for the Holy Grail.  Maybe in that quest, Hunter found the quintessence that is Hunter Biden and in so doing, found contentment, inner peace.  Maybe he won't mind it so much when they scoot him off to the Hoosegow.  Maybe he'll just sing the last line of the 'Secret Agent Man' song.  "They've given you a number and taken away your name."

It's what they do when they lock you up.

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*P.F. Sloan, Steve Barri and sung by Johnny Rivers

Looking Good or Not?

Senator Robert Menedez of New Jersey has been indicted on charges of bribery and if that sounds familiar, it's because he was indicted on federal corruption charges back in 2015.  This is a case of deja vu all over again.  In that first case, Senator Menedez had done favors for some guy who had committed Medicare fraud and wanted to bring hot women from Brazil into the country.  The guy in turn had given Senator Menedez free rides on his private jet and bought the Senator some gifts.  The jury had a hard time differentiating between corruption and the usual practices of elected officials, so they couldn't get to a verdict.  The Prosecutors realizing this case might be a bridge too far, dropped the charges.

But this new bribery case might be different.  Seems the Senator had 480k in cash stuffed in his socks, the mattress and various other places in his house.  Then there was another 100k in cash in his wife's safety deposit box.  Now he could argue that he doesn't trust banks after all he is a Senator and should know.  And he and his wife have scrimped, saved, used coupons a lot and tucked the cash away for a few decades but then he also has gold bars.  Yeah the stuff you see in the movies that the bad guys like the Nazis would hide away.  And, these gold bars have ID numbers on them that are registered to a guy who is facing prosecution and the Senator is trying to get him off.  Well, who knows?  Maybe the Senator has a story for the jury but right about now, it doesn't look too good.

Now there is Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift.  They seem to be dating.  Travis Kelce who plays for the Super Bowl Champion Kansas City Chiefs and Taylor Swift who needs no introduction, have been seen together on numerous occasions.  She invited him to one of her concerts and he was bewitched.  Taylor Swift has been known to have that effect on men.  He in turn invited her to see him perform with the Chiefs.  She showed up with an entourage and they all danced to the tune of the Chiefs, crushing the Chicago Bears 41 to 10.  So right about now, it all looks really good.  But given their dating histories by this time next year, they'll both just be a memory to each other.  Hell they might not even make it to the Super Bowl.  And she'll write a song next year about a guy who was "out of bounds" caught in a "personal foul" or he just couldn't get "into the end zone".  But right about now, it looks really good.

And continuing with the NFL, the New York Jets watched the sugar plum fairies of the Super Bowl that were dancing in their heads make a quick run for the exits, as Aaron Rodgers went down on his fourth play in a New York Jets uniform.  He tore his Achilles tendon, highlighting a reality that billionaire sports team owners don't seem to grasp.  As the human body ages, it loses it's elasticity and we all of us but especially athletes, can no longer do the things we used to do and we are more prone to injury.  The Jets brain trust's plan B seems to be Zach Wilson but they'd be better off looking around at the many local high school Quarterbacks out there in New Jersey.  

What's really bad is the Jets have to play the Chiefs this week on Sunday Night Football where everyone with no other games to watch, will be tuned in.  And, they may well have to watch Taylor Swift and the entourage dancing again which will be good for her fans, fans of her romance with Travis Kelce and the Kansas City Chiefs fans but for the long suffering New York Jets fans, this isn't looking too good.

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On The Road To Political Stardom

We pointed out in our last article, two venues that politicians might take on their way to political stardom and we did mention that there could be others but we failed to elaborate.  One of our astute readers pointed out that President Zelenskyy of Ukraine was a comedian.  And we feel that we should have added failed comedian to the failed actor category on the road to political stardom.  But it shouldn't have been just failed actor/comedian, as we once had a very long discussion here of running Jerry Seinfeld for President.  And Jerry is a very successful comedian and the press conferences would have been classic.  Someone would have asked about nuclear proliferation and Jerry could have said.  "Nuclear weapons yes.  They cost a lot of money and you really can't use them.  Why do we have them?'  Or Jerry could have opened up a press conference with.  "What's with Russia?  Are they really the world's 2nd best military or are they just the 2nd best military in Ukraine?"

But one other road to political stardom that no one here ever thought of has now thrust itself into the political arena...  Only Fans.  Susanna Gibson a candidate for the Virginia House of Delegates has an Only Fans account.  For those of you who have been living under a rock, an Only Fans account is usually a sexually explicit venue where the star of the show performs live and the viewers pay money, to watch.  Much to the shock, the horror or maybe the delight of her opponents and some of the voters, this has all come to light.  Susanna Gibson's reaction is.  "It won’t intimidate me and it won’t silence me. My political opponents and their Republican allies have proven they’re willing to commit a sex crime to attack me and my family because there’s no line they won’t cross to silence women when they speak up."  In other words, "What's your problem?"

As you can see from the picture above Susanna Gibson is quite attractive and most of us wouldn't mind seeing her in action but if all the people running for office had to have an Only Fans, we could clear the field of almost everyone, overnight.  We wouldn't need term limits in Congress.  And, it would certainly get rid of all the current Presidential candidates tout de suite.  

Hmmmm to echo Susanna Gibson.  What's the problem?

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Words of Wisdom from Sonny the Capo

With the propensity of people to fight, argue and stop speaking with their families and friends over political candidates, we think it is wise to recall the words of Sonny the Capo to little Calogero in the play and the movie 'A Bronx Tale'.  In case you didn't see the play or the movie it's about a kid, Calogero, growing up in the Bronx in the 1960's.  

The kid befriends the local Mafia Caporegime Sonny and Sonny in turn takes an interest in him.  One day Sonny can see the kid is all upset and asks why.  Little ten year old Calogero tells him that the Yankees just lost the World Series and he read in the paper that his hero Mickey Mantle, was so upset, he cried.  Sonny looks at the kid and bestows this wisdom.  "If you father can't pay the rent and you ask Mickey Mantle for the rent what is he going to say to you?  Mickey Mantle doesn't care about you.  Mickey Mantle doesn't know you're alive."

We imagine two scenarios where the modern day candidates spring into the political arena.  The first is a young actor/actress whose agent first sends them out to audition for movie roles.  When that doesn't pan out, the agent sends them for TV shows, first dramatic and then sit-coms.  When that doesn't work, the agent sends them to auditions for Reality shows and when that doesn't work, he tries for slots as a contestant on game shows.  When all of this doesn't work out, the agent turns to the young ingenue and says.  "Politics?"

In the second scenario a young lawyer who did very well in law school, hooks a position in a big, prestigious law firm.  After a few years, this young lawyer wonders if they'll make partner.  This is a big law firm with a lot of talented attorneys and only a few make partner.  Then again, this young lawyer begins to wonder even if they make partner...  Will it be enough?  Slowly but surely their mind begins to turn and the light blub clicks on and they think... Politics!

Of course there are other scenarios but the one where the candidate tells you or implies that they've been called to public service  because they care about you and they want to serve their country well...  You can believe that if you want to.  But walking around in three thousand dollar suits with your hair perfectly coiffed and mouthing pious platitudes written by someone else (We think the last guy to write his own speeches was Teddy Roosevelt.) and becoming a multi-millionaire in the process, is not serving your country.  It's called riding the gravy train.

The people who serve this country, are in the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, the Coast Guard and the United States Marine Corps.

So the next time you're on the verge of no longer speaking to someone close to you over some political hack, try to recall the wisdom of Sonny the Capo.  You can fill in the blank with whoever it applies to.  "If your father can't pay the rent and you ask ________ for the rent what is he/she going to say to you?  ________ doesn't care about you.  ________ doesn't know you're alive."

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The Conundrum

There are 91 counts filed against Donald John Trump former President of The United States and he's facing these counts in four different trials.  His detractors are filled with glee, anticipating "Orange Man in an orange jumpsuit" for the rest of his life.  His defenders dream of him wining the Presidency, pardoning himself and then spending four glorious years as President.  As this unfolds, members of the Mass Hysteria, The Talking Heads and The Cognoscenti Of The Known World, will be having a field day screaming, pontificating and telling us this is the end of democracy, no matter what the outcome is, in each trial.

Also the elected and the unelected politicians of all parties and all political affiliations, the political class in total, will be apoplectic on any given day or everyday.  They will also intone, this is the end of democracy no matter what the outcome is, in each trial.

But if there are any sane people among the members of the Mass Hysteria or the political class, there may be no desire to see an ex-President rot away in prison.  There may be no desire among a whole lot of the sane people in the United States, who are not in the Mass Hysteria or the political class, to watch an ex-President rotting away in prison.  It might look bad for the country.  Other countries might see us as a Banana Republic.  So there is the conundrum.  Can anyone beat 91 counts in 4 different cases?  Probably not.  Can anyone simply wipe away all the convictions?  Probably not.

Now we don't simply tell you that the world is a dark place, be afraid, be very afraid.  And oh yeah, send us your money so we can keep screaming about it.  No, we light candles and there is a solution to this conundrum.  It is old.  It goes back to antiquity but surprisingly it is still in use in the modern day world and that solution is...  Exile.

Yup just like we said it goes back to antiquity and the first guy who was exiled was Psisitratus The Tyrant of Athens in 561 B.C.  He got sent to Rhaecelus, a small island in the Aegean Sea.  And, you might be remembering Napoleon now, which was two centuries ago but Mohammed Reza Pahlavi, the Shah of Iran got exiled here to the U S of A in 1979.  Of course, that set off 44 years of grief for the U.S. and Iran.  Exile, often isn't pretty.  But it worked for the Shah, as he died in bed instead of at the end of a rope.  Then there was Jean Baptiste Duvalier aka Baby Doc, who got exiled to France in 1986, where he at least spoke the language.  And, Jair Bolsonaro former President of Brazil, sitting right here in the USA.  Exiled here, just last year.  You might pass him on the street.

So, it's a tried and true method that is still very much in use.  We're thinking of some place like United Arab Emirates or Abu Dhabi or Saudi Arabia.  Some place where a guy with a few billion would be treated like a King or a Prince or an Emir.  He could even have his own Podcast where he could hold forth on anything or everything.  He could call it 'The President In Exile'.  Of course his detractors could call it "I'm Fired".  

Now if there are any sane members of the Mass Hysteria or the Political class and they come up with this idea, just remember, that you heard it here first.

Maybe we really are the cutting edge, the tip of the spear in this journalism thing.  Maybe we should change our motto to 'Ad extremum hastae' (the tip of the spear in Latin).  Nah.  We'll stick with 'Telling it like it is.  For the Public Good'.

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This Just In! Breaking News!

 

We like to think we're the cutting edge, the tip of the spear in this journalism thing, so we can take everything in stride and not lose our focus like The Talking Heads of the Mass Hysteria do, when something comes out of nowhere.  But Brittany Spears and her husband of one year Sam Asghari, just separated and they are headed for divorce!  Wow!  We didn't see that one coming.

And Phillip Swagel the Director of the CBO that's Congressional Budget Office which makes him the government's economics guru said all the inflation we're experiencing is the result of "massive government spending".  Wow!  Who'd a' thunk that one!

And this one is a real shocker.  The authorities in New Mexico did another test on the gun that Alec Baldwin used to shoot the Cinematographer and the Director on the set of the movie 'Rust'.  Alex has said again and again that he never pulled the trigger.  That he never would have and could not have pulled the trigger.  The gun just went off.  The gun did it.  And when all the charges were dropped, it seemed the Prosecutors agreed with him.  Why would he lie?  But in this new test, the gun, seems to disagree.  The gun said, I will not fire until you pull my trigger.  Will Alec be arrested?  Indicted?  Will he get perp walked?  Will he have to pay for his sins?  Who could have seen this one coming?

Like we said at the beginning, we think of ourselves as the cutting edge, the tip of the spear of this journalism thing.  We don't want to be like the Talking Heads of the Mass Hysteria or The Cognoscenti Of The Known World, reacting like hyperactive teenagers who don't take their Ritalin, every time something happens.  No, we want to be sensible, perceptive and have a sense of decorum.  But then there are these things that you just can't foresee.  They just happen, like earthquakes or Tsunamis.  No one could see them coming.  So we just try to grin and bear it, suck it up and bring you all the news.  And, more importantly the insights you'll need, to get through the day.

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