There are always silver linings to things and in The Time of Coronavirus, we’ve found a big one. Men are making love to their wives again. Why you might ask and there are a few reasons.
First off, everyone is staying home from work. Since most men get a big idea quite a few times a day and they are now stuck at home with their wives… well, you get the picture.
Since men are not at work and can’t be out of the house for long extended periods of time, they can’t see their mistresses, escorts, girlfriends or go to strip clubs either. Oh yeah, the biggest losers in Love in The Time of Coronavirus are mistresses, escorts, the girlfriends of married guys and strippers. But no one cares about them. Unless of course, they have some extra toilet paper on hand.
We’ve also found out that it is okay to call it the Coronavirus. That it is a politically correct term. What is not okay is to refer to the Coronavirus as the Wuhan Coronavirus, the Chinese Coronavirus or call it the Kung Flu. We also can’t imply or infer that it is some foreign kind of a disease, as that would be racist. We all have to pretend this thing started in Des Moines or just some place no one ever heard of, like Dog Walk Kentucky. So, while saying Coronavirus was okay all along, we just weren’t sure and it is always better to err on the side of caution.
Now in this Love in The Time of Coronavirus, single people are bleep out luck. All the bars and the clubs are closed so there is no way to hook up. We’re sure the online dating stuff is going great guns and texting or even sexting too. But there is just no way to close the deal. We could say they’re screwed but then well, they’re not and not even close.
As we said last week, we will keep you updated as things progress. And, we told you to keep an eye on Tom Hanks and his wife Rita Wilson. Well after being isolated in a hospital for five days, Tom and Rita are still alive. They’ve been released from the Hospital and they are still in isolation but they’re not dead, not yet. So maybe, just maybe, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Dicens simile factum est
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*With apologies to Gabriel Garcia Marquez