Sorry?

We were feeling sorry for Jerome Powell the Chairman of the Federal Reserve because DJT, POTUS 45 & 47 thinks Powell is a "stupid person" and talking to him "is like talking to a chair.  There's nothing there."  And a whole lot of people want Powell to resign.  He is definitely not going to be reinstated when his term is up next spring.  If that wasn't bad enough, he was last seen shuffling along like an old homeless guy that DJT, POTUS 45 & 47 and Senator Tim Scott had picked up along the way, as they reviewed the new Federal Reserve Building.  A building whose construction has gone way overboard.  A building Chairman Powell will never sit in.  And the building's construction is so over budget that a criminal referral was sent to the DOJ about it.  Fed Chairman Powell could have some 'splaining to do. 

Yeah we were feeling sorry for the old guy till we did a little research and found out he's worth 55 million dollars!  Do we feel sorry for him now?  Fugettaaboutitt!

And Ghislaine Maxwell is now talking to Deputy Attorney General of the Department of Justice, Todd Blanche!  Why?  Well she's doing 20 years for sex trafficking underage girls and she wants out of prison.  Most everyone in those places wants the same thing.  So why is this high ranking Deputy Attorney General talking to her?  Well, she can name, names.  She knows who she sent the little girls to go see.  This is something that Kash Patel, Dan Bongino, Pam Bondi and the rest of the FBI and DOJ haven't got a clue about.  She was always happy to tell the DOJ, it's just that no one ever asked before.

Do we feel sorry for Ghislaine Maxwell?  Not hardly.

And poor Dan Bongino.  In the course of his investigations he has uncovered such a shocking truth that it has "shocked him down to his core" and "he will never be the same."  Most of the country believes that the government played some role in the assassination of President Kennedy, so it has to be bigger than that.  We have our money on LBJ by the way.  And since Dan Bongino is the Deputy Director of the FBI now, he probably knows who was shooting from the Grassy Knoll.  So what could these scandals ever be?

BTW we all thought Bongino was a tough guy.  Tough guys can handle anything.  They don't get shaken to their core.  We're not sure what is going to be more shocking to us, getting the details on these scandals or us realizing that Dan Bongino, is a wuss.

Do we feel sorry for Dan Bongino?  Well, maybe a little.

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Nobody

CBS has cancelled the Colbert Show!  There are all kinds of conspiracy theories surrounding this and there is much gnashing of teeth in certain quarters.  But CBS says The Colbert Show is losing 40 million dollars a year!  OMG!  And that is why they are cancelling the show.  

And people in certain quarters, who are gnashing their teeth, are bemoaning this cancellation as it just might be a harbinger of things to come for the other late night talk shows.  The old slippery slop thing.  With good reason too, as Colbert ironically, is the highest rated of the broadcast, late night, talk shows.  So you can imagine how much the other shows are losing.  Imagine that!  Corporations not wanting to lose 40 million a year?  "Oh, the humanity!"*

We have a sneaky suspicion that the names of the Late Night TV show hosts will be a category on Jeopardy a decade from now and none of the contestants will get anything in that category right.  Nobody will remember or care.

And they are picking on Harry and Meghan again.  No, not 'South Park'.  Now it's 'Family Guy', another animated series.  Why?  Meghan and Harry are not doing anything.  And, we sort of get the Royal Family back in Great Britain.  They represent the country, the culture.  They serve a purpose.  But Meghan and Harry?  What do they do?  They are sort of like the lilies of the field.  "They toil not, neither do they spin"**.  Well maybe not quite the lilies of the field but you get the picture.  They're not doing much.

Seth MacFarlane is the guy who runs 'Family Guy' and we sort of get it, as Harry and Meghan were almost somebody, but now?

And Hunter Biden went on a F bomb fueled rant on X, where he bemoaned the illegal immigrants being deported to El Salvador.  He says if he's elected President, he'll demand they are all are brought back.  We didn't know he was running.  Maybe that should have been the headline instead of all the F bombs.  But if El Salvador refuses to send back the illegal immigrants, he'll invade El Salvador to get them back.  That's when he's President of course.

But maybe what he's really upset about is no one buys his paintings anymore.  And with his father's pardon in hand, no one even investigates him anymore.  No one even talks about his Laptop anymore.  He's a nobody.

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*That is a quote from Herbert Morrison reporting the Hindenburg disaster.

** Matthew 6:27

Just Funny That Way

Is it only us?  Or do you notice how certain famous people who have been getting away it for a long time and get busted, also get linked to the C.I.A. or some other intelligence organization?  Not all of the them of course, but certainly Jeffrey Epstein, who was not only C.I.A. operative but he also worked for MOSSAD, supposedly.  Then there was the The Diddy who worked for the F.B.I., supposedly.  We were just wondering why is that?  Not that it's even true or not, just why?  Like no one ever linked the C.I.A., the F.B.I. or MOSSAD to Harvey Weinstein.  Or Bill Cosby.  We guess, life is just funny that way.

And Alan Dershowitz famed Harvard Law Professor knows who is on the CLIENT LIST!  He has seen it.  Why?  Well he was accused by Virginia (committed suicide) Giuffre, of being one of the CLIENTS!  She later recanted her accusation saying she mixed him up with someone else.  How you mix that guy's face up with someone else's, we don't know.  That's him pictured above.  Then again she might not have seen the guy's face.  Maybe it was dark and the guy said.  "I'm Alan Dershowitz, famed Harvard Law Professor."  The guy just wanted to impress her.  But either way, she recanted.  But of course while being accused, Dershowitz demanded and got to see all the information on the case.  It's called DISCOVERY.   So he's seen it.  Will you see it?  Of course not!  Why?  "Attorney client privilege" says Alan (I don't want to commit suicide) Dershowitz.

Just a little note here, as people like to throw around and hide behind PRIVILEGE.  Understand that it's not a law.  It's a privilege held by a Priest, Doctor, Lawyer and Spouse.  They can refuse to disclose or testify but they don't have to refuse.  They can both talk and testify, if they so desire.  Like we said, it's not a law.  So Alan Dershowitz famed Harvard Law Professor can, if he wants to, tell you who was on the Jeffrey (committed suicide) Epstein List.  Will he?  We say, no way.  Why?  Because life is just funny that way.

And John Brennan former head of the C.I.A. and J. Edgar Comey former head of the F.B.I. are under criminal investigation!  OMG!!  We thought of listing all the political figures who have been under criminal investigation but then we realized we don't have enough staff, enough time or enough space here.  But we feel confident in laying odds.  So it's 10 to 1 against indictment.  10 to 1 against a trial or a conviction.  And we'd put it at 1,000 to 1 against either of them doing any jail time but we don't want to take anyone's dollar.*

So why do they do this?  Waste time and energy investigating, when even if they get a conviction the subject never does a minute in jail?  Well by now you know, life is just funny that way.

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*This does not apply to unknown people who get caught up in these investigations who might be reading this from their jail cell.

The Client List

An FBI memo concludes that there is no Jeffrey Epstein/Ghislaine Maxwell Client List!  Ghislaine might be wondering why she's in jail.  Jeffrey had no comment.

In simpler times, before computers and cell phones, a high class Brothel would be raided, the Madame in custody and supposedly out there somewhere, was the BLACK BOOK.  The BLACK BOOK was this item that contained the names of the Clients.  Since this was a high priced Brothel, the Clients were the rich, the famous, the influential, the movers and the shakers along with the predilections of their sexual preferences.  Now the predilections were in the BLACK BOOK because the Madame wanted to take good care of her rich clients and needed to remember what they liked.  

Promises of the release of this nefarious tome would flood the newspapers and magazines.  Alas much to the chagrin of those who waited patiently for the release of the BLACK BOOK, it just never happened.  This thing never got produced and the public never got to learn what was in it.

Maybe the thing was a total fiction or maybe having someone's name and phone number in a book is not evidence of a crime.  Even if it had some indications of what that person liked to do, when satiating their libido.  Remember the crime is exchanging money for sex, not having someone's name in a book.  The only well known Client we can ever remember getting busted, was one Charlie Sheen.  Yeah the guy with the tiger blood, who could consume Cocaine 8 Balls and Escorts like they were gummy bears.  But Charlie wasn't busted because his name was in the BLACK BOOK.  He was busted because he paid with a check.  Maybe he had one 8 Ball too many and forgot the oldest adage, when engaging in the oldest profession.  Only use cash.

But jump ahead to today and hardly anything gets written down on paper.  We use electronics for almost everything and in place of the BLACK BOOK is the CLIENT LIST.  And once again just having someone's name and phone number on an electronic device, is not evidence of a crime.  Even if it says something like Bill Clinton 202-###-#### and have cigars on hand.

What the FBI memo is really saying is.  We convicted Jeffrey Epstein and never mentioned a Client.  We arrested him again for the same thing and would have convicted him again, without mentioning a Client.  We arrested, tried and convicted Ghislaine Maxwell without ever mentioning a Client.  What makes you think we will tell you now?

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We Were Wrong

Every once in a while we get things wrong in the Journalism Matrix.  When we do that we feel we have to apologize.  We might be the only ones who do this, as certainly no one else comes to mind right now.  But we got two things wrong in our assessment of the shooting of Minnesota State Legislators.  First thing is only one Minnesota Legislator got killed.  The other deceased individual was her husband.  The other Minnesota Legislator was shot and survived as did his wife.  But the big thing we missed was we thought this shooting would bring on a onslaught of the various ideologues blaming the other side because of the mud they all sling.  It didn't happen.

Now that might have been because the shooter Vance Luther Boelter wrote a letter in which he confessed to the shootings and said the Minnesota Governor and failed VP candidate Tim Walz told him to do it.  Thus making all other theories null and void.  Or possibly it could be that a whole lot of people realized the guy Vance Luther Boelter, is off his nut.  But either way, we were wrong and we apologize.

Now this other thing we got wrong goes back aways.  Back past the election when Donald John Trump was facing over 90 felony counts in four different legal proceedings.  We speculated as to what he could do if elected.  We thought he could either govern from a jail cell in Ossining State Penitentiary or maybe he could be President in Exile, and govern from someplace like Dubai.  Well three of the cases just fell apart and even though he got convicted of 34 felony accounts in New York, the Judge said.  "Have a nice day."  No jail time or even a fine.  Makes you wonder why they bothered with this but then this is a column about us being wrong not about the machinations of the legal system.  That is fodder for another day.  Donald John Trump POTUS 45 & 47 as you can see from the picture above, is governing from the White House, not Ossining State Penitentiary or Dubai.  We were wrong and we apologize.

Trust us that wasn't so hard and we feel better.  Sort of like you had a fight with your wife.  You apologized and it's a whole lot better than sleeping on the couch.  Maybe everyone in this Journalism Matrix, should do the same thing.

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Real Deal Or Steal?

We've all seen the headline on the Youtube clip, so and so destroyed, so and so blown up.  It's where one Newscaster, Talking Head  or Cognoscenti Of The Known World is arguing with another and one of them might have made a good quip.  The other one looks bad.   Nothing more than that.  The destroyed or blown up Newscaster, Talking Head or Cognoscenti Of The Known World is all in one piece, still talking and more importantly, is still getting paid.  The headline is just hyperbole.  

Well the other day in Tehran a woman Newscaster was broadcasting the usual stuff.  Death to Israel and America, when the studio she was in got blown up.  It got destroyed.  Israel dropped a bomb on it.  It was the real thing.  The Newscaster managed to walk away as the place began to fall apart around her, but we're pretty sure the bomb got the payroll department.  Even if it didn't, there's nothing to broadcast from so no pay for the Newscaster.  Now she still might be yakking away but it doesn't much matter, as no one can hear her.  Every once in a while, it's the real deal.

When Great Britain stood alone against Nazi Germany back in 1940, Winston Churchill made a very famous speech in which he declared that Great Britain, would "never surrender".  But we've also noticed over the years that most everyone else who announces they will "never surrender" kind of does so a few weeks or even a few days later.  This comes to mind as the Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the Capo di tutti capi of Iran announced that he would never surrender.

Now we don't know of a place that we could get a bet down on this but if anyone knows, please in turn let us know.  Because as the bombs both Israeli and the U.S of A are making big holes in the ground out of what used to be the Iranian nuclear program, we're thinking that this Ayatollah Khamenei ain't no Winston Churchill.  We think this bet is so good, it's a steal.

From the beginning of The Diddy Trial there has been a chorus of legal zealots who on a daily basis proclaim that the "Prosecution has over reached!  It's not R.I.C.O!  That all the women were happy to be with him and in the Freak-offs!  It was all consensual!"  

One of the last witnesses was Brendan Paul who has been advertised as "The Diddy's Drug Mule" but when he gets on the stand he says he's not really a drug mule.  He did a lot of different things for The Diddy while he was employed by him for 18 months.  He only transported cocaine for The Diddy like 5 or 10 times.

Upon hearing this the Legal Zealots went crazy.  "The guy's not a drug mule!  He only did it 5 or 10 times at most!  Brenden Paul sounded like a defense witness!"   Of course transporting cocaine is a felony.  Even if you only do it once.  The way we look at it is the same as committing any felony like Burglary, Fraud or Rape.  It's probably better to only do it 10 times rather than 20 or more but 10 or even 5, is still a lot of felonies.  Then again maybe we're wrong.  Maybe in the illicit Drug business 5 or 10 times isn't significant.  What do you think?  Was this a Steal for the Defense or The Real Deal for the Prosecution?

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BTW That's a picture of Cassie Ventura, her husband and their two kids at the top of the column.  We could have gone with an image of the Iranian Newscaster but it was too creepy.  We could have gone with Ayatollah Khamenei but who wants to look at that old fossil, if you don't have to.  We think this picture of Cassie and family is uplifting, as it shows you can pretty much survive anything.  And we like to be uplifting whenever possible.

Random Thoughts

What is it with L.A. and fires?  First it was the wild fires of 2024 which they finally put out but now when everything is nice and quiet well...  They start burning cars.  Is it something primal in the nature of the citizenry?  Is it a sacrifice to the Gods?  Will they offer up sheep or goats next?  Or perish the thought, Virgins?

And the Iranians have pulled out of negotiations with the U.S. over their nuclear program.  The United States has been trying to stop Iran from getting The Bomb, the Atom Bomb.  Negotiations have been going on for decades.  Now some may say Iran pulled out of the negotiations because they are angry with the U.S..  The U.S. backs Israel and Israel just bomb, bomb, bombed Iran.  But we're kind of guessing that the Iranians can only negotiate their would be Atom Bomb when it was a would be bomb, not a gone baby gone bomb.  It seems the ace they had tucked in their sleeve, just slipped out and blew away.

One good thing The Diddy has done is; no matter how many guys get caught cheating with interns or other women, no matter how many guys get caught going to a strip club, no matter how many guys get caught with escorts, no matter how many guys get caught doing illegal drugs, it will all seem tame and even nostalgic.  The Diddy has pushed the boundaries of illicit behavior way, way out there.

And Vance Luther Boelter has been caught.  He shot and killed two Minnesota State politicians and wounded two others.  Both ideological sides will try desperately now, to show how the Assassin was motived by the other side.  This is all the result of what somebody or somebodies have said.  Forgetting as always, that the Assassin is just your usual garden variety Psychopath.  The ideology invoked by the Assassin might sound somewhat rational but it comes from an irrational mind.  Try to remember that as the Talking Heads all weigh in on the subject from left to right and all points on the compass

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The Job

Elon The Richest Man In The World and Donald Trump POTUS are feuding!  OMG!  It could even be double OMG or as readers of this column know it as OMG!! which is the absolute end of it all.  But that's only if it is real.  Right now it seems too much like the WWE.  Maybe it will end with Trump hitting Elon over the head with a folding chair.  Maybe it will end with Elon writing a book 'My Struggle' detailing how he was humiliated and denigrated during his tenure at the White House.  How Trump is a meanie and how Elon endured the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune".  Then again, there has been a whole lot of those books and it might not sell at all.  Better to go with the folding chair over the head.  If they do it right, Elon won't feel a thing.  If they do it wrong, it will only hurt Elon's head.  His ego will be intact.

BTW this all begins when Elon loses his job as the head of D.O.G.E..

Then there is Karen Jean-Pierre she was Old Brains Biden's Press Secretary.  She's writing a book about how she is no longer a democrat but an Independent.  That's the name of her new book, 'Independent'.  And 'Independent' will tear the cover off the Old Brains Biden Administration, supposedly.  Some have speculated that there is no way she could have written a 300 page book between election night 2024 and now.  There isn't enough time.  That presupposes that she wrote it.  We mean there are a whole lot of books out there with authors names on them that were written by someone else.  So maybe someone else started writing it as a plan B.  Plan A was Old Brains or Harris wins and she still has a job.

 And many of you may be wondering why a 41 year old Aaron Rogers signed with the Pittsburgh Steelers, for one more season.  We mean he's a multi-millionaire and a shoo in for the Hall of Fame once he retires.  His last two seasons due to age and injury were nothing to write home about.  So why?  Why risk a season of mediocrity after so much excellence?  Why risk painful injury more prevalent with age?  Why?  

Well, he's an NFL  Quarterback and now he has a job.  And as we know now, it's the job.  It is always the job.

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Wonder

This just in.  Dan Bongino and Kash Patel, they are the Deputy and the Director of the FBI by the way, have found boxes, that's right boxes of evidence!  Stuff that has been hidden and when it is released Dan and Kash say, you will be shocked!

Now we don't want to pour cold water on you but our first reaction was, who keeps paper files anymore?  That's what you put in boxes, paper.  It's the 21st Century.  We don't have any paper around here and we're just a single voice in the wind.  It was a little hard at first to give the paper up but once we did, we found a lot of mess went with it and well, we are better organized too.  And we're not the world's preeminent law enforcement agency.

But Dan and Kash are going to release these files and the Epstein files too!  Brace yourselves people, the shock is coming.

In ancient Tribal societies the people in charge, the inner circle, the Politburo if you will, had secrets.  It turned out that the secrets weren't much of a big deal, it's just that the Politburo had them.  The rest of the Tribe, was just left to wonder.

And as the Diddy trial unfolds, the people who say that the Prosecution has overreached have not relented or changed their minds.  Of course they have to believe that not only Cassie but another 12 or 15 other people are also lying.  Everybody is lying.  While we don't think that's possible, it's not out of the realm of possibility.  Nothing is.  But that crowd thinks Diddy will walk.  Then there is a whole lot of us who think Diddy is going straight to hell.  Well straight to hell after he spends the rest of his life in a 6 by 8 cell.

But we also realize that Diddy might be able to buy off a few jurors and get a hung jury.  It was uncovered that John Gotti had bribed one juror in one of his acquittals.  Then again he had two other trials that ended in acquittals.  We're not saying that he bribed jurors in those cases but he obviously was not allergic to the idea.

Then there is the wisdom of Suge Knight who thinks Diddy is better off in his 6 by 8 because  "Diddy can get all the baby oil he wants in prison.".  And that "Diddy will be safer in prison than out on the street.".  Who can argue with that?  Certainly not us.

But no matter how this trial ends, guilty on all counts, an outright acquittal or a hung jury, a whole lot of people will have been right.  A whole lot of people will have been wrong.  And either way, many of us , will be left to wonder.

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P.S. That is a picture of Cassie Ventura at the top of the page.  We figured you'd rather look at her than Dan Bongino, Kash Patel or even P. Diddy, Puff Daddy, Puffy Daddy, Brother Love, Love, Sean Combs.

Bad Choices and Mistakes

We're pretty sure you've seen Dateline or 48 Hours, so you know the scene where the killer is convicted and he gives an interview from Prison.  He gets interviewed by someone like Josh Mankiewicz.  They set up all the lights and the microphones.  The Convicted Killer is sitting laid back in his chair.  His arms are just hanging at his sides like he's all relaxed.  But it's really because he's a psychopath and doesn't really care about anything.  Including the dead victim.

J.M.  "At sentencing you showed no remorse and still said I'm innocent.  Do you still say that now?"

C. K. is short for convicted killer.  C.K.  "Yes.  I'm innocent.  They've convicted the wrong guy.  This has been a miscarriage of justice."

J.M.  "But they found your DNA all over the crime scene."

C.K.  "Well she was my girlfriend.  I just about lived there so of course my DNA would be there."

J.M.  "But they found your bloody finger prints on the kitchen knife that was the murder weapon."

C.K.  "I was set up."

J.M.  "But you have a history of violence, two convictions for assault and one was with a deadly weapon.  You did three years for that."

C.K.  "I made bad choices.  But I've taken responsibility.  I own it."

J.M.  "Your girlfriend, the victim here, had an order for protection against you."

C.K.  "I made bad choices."

J.M.  "You didn't testify and you don't have to but if you didn't do it, wouldn't you like to have told your side of the story?"

C.K.  "Yes.  I should have.  That was a mistake."

This type of interview came to mind because Jake Tapper pictured above has just written a book about the mental decline of Old Brains Biden.  Jake Tapper is also a Talking Head and one of The Cognoscenti Of The Known World over there at CNN.  If anyone had mentioned that Old Brains was losing it while he was President, Jake Tapper would insist that Old Brains was just fine.  And, Jake Tapper like a good Pit Bull would go on the attack calling Old Brains' detractors a lot of bad things, including "conspiracy theorists".

Then Old Brains was forced out because well a whole lot of people realized he was non compos mentis.  Then Jake Tapper decided to write his book about it.  Forgetting of course, how he had said Old Brains was just fine and he attacked anyone who said otherwise.  Now of course, he's making the rounds to sell his book.  And he's got to answer questions about it.

Interviewer or I.  "You've written a book about the mental decline of Joe Biden but while he was in office you said he was fine.  You even attacked people who pointed out his mental decline.  I think you referred to them as "conspiracy theorists."

J.T.  "That was a mistake.  I was wrong and they were right.  I've even called Lara Trump and apologized to her  I've taken responsibility for that."

I.  "But don't you think you should have noticed the mental decline of President Biden?"

J.T.  "I made mistakes."

I.  "But you attacked anyone who dared to say President Biden was losing it."

J.T.  "I made bad choices."

I.  "But why should anyone believe you?"

J.T.  "Well everyone makes mistakes.  And I take responsibility for mine.  I own them.  I should have paid more attention.  I should have listened.  I made bad choices.  I should have seen President Biden's mental decline.  That was a mistake."

Now we don't like comparing Jake Tapper, Talking Head and one of The Cognoscenti Of The Known World, to a convicted killer  but it's eerie how their answers are just, so similar.

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Are They Missing Something?

While the media is all stimulated to the nth degree over all the allegations coming out of the P. Diddy, Puff Daddy, Puffy Daddy, Brother Love, Love, Sean Combs trial, we have to ask, are they missing something?

First off the people you see on the various screens and in print media are getting paid to say whatever they are saying.  And it's not a few shekels either.  Not that anyone is lying but if the Producers of whatever show you are watching tell the people speaking to say this that or the other thing, that's what they are going to say.  Some of us here would never do that but a some of us would and happily so.  Also if you can play up what is sensational or lurid and get more eyeballs, well a whole lot of people will say whatever is necessary.  This goes not just for the Diddy drama but all things you see.

So while the Talking Heads, the Know It All's, and the Cognoscenti of The Known World tell you that Cassie Ventura is the STAR WITNESS and the Defense tries to show that she was a willing participant and Combs is not charged with domestic violence.  Not charged with being a sex freak or even a bad guy.  And for all those reasons, the prosecution is having a hard time proving their case.  Well, they might be missing something.

The Prosecution has only called five witnesses and they have already established that Combs orchestrated these Freak-Offs on a regular basis.  That he planned these Freak-Offs right down to the smallest itty, bitty detail.  That he procured MDMA, Cocaine, Pink Cocaine and other drugs, all of which are illegal.  It is illegal to procure, possess and distribute illegal drugs.  That he hired prostitutes.  That's illegal.  That he brought some of these prostitutes across state lines.  That's illegal.  That he recorded Cassie engaging in sex acts.  The jury saw the recording.  That he threatened to release that recording unless Cassie did what he wanted.  That is blackmail.  That is illegal.  Will his attorneys try to say he didn't make the recording and didn't threaten her with it?  Who is going to believe that?  And he also offered to bribe people to cover up these crimes and he did all of this, over and over and over again.  And that he employed a whole bunch of people in order to carry out these illegal acts.  That, is the very definition of a, Racketeering Influence, Corrupt Organization.  And that is what he's charged with.

So it doesn't matter if Cassie Ventura is a willing participant or not.  Unless the Defense can show that there were no drugs, no Prostitutes, no offers of bribes, no recording that the jury already saw, no threat of releasing that recording and give a big no to all the other illegal acts.   Well, we're sorry to have to report that Mr. Combs is guilty.

So it's not like the defense lawyers will just say anything and their sycophants in the media repeat it.  It's just that they all get paid regardless of the outcome.  They bill by the hour.  They get paid no matter what the jury decides and they are getting paid on this one, big time.

And, we don't know what a jury will do and we don't make predictions.  But it's only week one of a proposed six weeks of the Prosecution's case.  We're sure there will be a whole lot of witnesses who will also establish that P. Diddy, Puff Daddy, Puffy Daddy, Brother Love, Love, Sean Combs orchestrated and ran an organization that committed crimes over and over again.  By the end of all this, it is not going to matter whether you, or the jury believe Cassie was or was not, a willing participant.  It will be did he orchestrate all these crimes?

In closing as they say in the legal business, we'd just like to point out that Cassie Ventura has the kind of courage, that you can live a long time and never see.

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All Good Things...

We can file this under all good things come to an end.  So, it's goodbye to RHONY after 22 seasons.  That's the Real Housewives of New York.  This show was a cultural phenomenon and a game changer.  It started off simple enough, a group of New York City Housewives and their daily lives.  But then the Housewives started screaming at each other and calling each other names.  Little wars broke out among the Housewives.  This led to the creation of a lot of other groups of Housewives in other cities all over America and even in cities of other countries.  All, of whom engaged in the same antics.  The cry of "You disrespected me?" echoed through the land along with "Can I trust you?" and "I can't trust you!".  

Then the phenomenon took hold, as people in other venues began screaming at each other and calling each other names.  They got disrespected and wondered if they could trust anyone.  People on opinion shows that had heretofore simply stated their different views, now began to call each other names and not so nice ones either.  Then this spilled over into regular news shows and Podcasts which went uncensored and the name calling really got hot.  Last but not least to pick up on this, were the Politicians.  And modern political theater became a series of insults thrown left and right.  Then the American people began to wonder, if they were being disrespected?  And could they, trust anyone?

You may be saying, it's not all fault of the Housewives!  And I like those shows!  We're not laying all the blame at their feet and people who took up the call are responsible for their actions.  But historians, anthropologists and sociologists of the future, will certainly see the Real Housewives of here, there and everywhere, as the focal point, of when everything, began to circle the drain.  And a whole lot of previously good things, began their descent into the crapper.

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What Do You Think?

Now a whole lot of articles and even a few books are coming out about how the vaunted members of the What Once Was The Main Stream Media aka the WOWTMSM, missed the mental decline of Old Brains Biden.  Most of these articles and books are written by the vaunted members of the WOWTMSM.  Now we didn't miss it and neither did you but they did. 

The first hint, might have been when Old Brains in front of all the cameras said.  "I can sum up America in one word ."Asufutimaehaehfutbu."  Then in case anyone missed it, he repeated it "Asufutimaehaehfutbu" for effect.  We noted it at the time.  The What Once Was The Main Stream Media aka the WOWTMSM missed it.  Of course there were other times, like when he thought his wife was his sister.  Then there were all the times he fell.  Then all the times he appeared to be sleepwalking and didn't know which way to turn or where to walk.  And the Asufutimaehaehfutbu was hardly the only time he mangled a word or words.  He mangled a lot of words.  And they missed all that too.  We didn't and neither did you.  But that leaves us with this one question.  Should they be writing this stuff?  

A lot of the stuff they're writing are Mea Culpas which is always good, especially when you make a big boo boo.  But if they missed all that, it kind of begs the question, what else did they miss?  Are they missing anything now?  Will they miss things in the future?  What do you think?

And James O'Keefe late of Project Veritas, announced that he was not suicidal.  Almost all of us are also not suicidal, so why make this announcement?  Well, he now has a scandal he's about to expose that will uncover billions that is billions with a B and even tens of billons in government fraud.  There will be indictments!  He exclaimed.  And if he winds up dead, it's because they killed him.  He's not going out like Jeffrey Epstein.  It will be homicide.

Well one of the first things we learned in the News business is if a dog bites a man, it's not news.  It happens all the time.  If a man bites a dog, then it's news.  Got it.  So, we hate to burst James O'Keefe's balloon but so far the D.O.G.E. people have found 160 billion dollars in waste and fraud.  And, well, no one has committed suicide over there at D.O.G.E., certainly not Elon.  And, no one has been indicted either or even arrested.  So if Mr. O'Keefe has found a few billion or even a few tens of billions, well we're sorry to say, it will be more like a dog biting a man.  There will be no indictments, no arrests and hopefully, no suicides.  That's what we think.  But what do you think?

Oh that's a picture of the White House Correspondence Dinner at the top of the page.  Those are the people who missed the mental status of Old Brains Biden and they are giving each other awards.  It looks a lot like the winners at the Grammys, just the senior division.

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P.S. A shout out to all our readers in Singapore.  Thank you for your support!

They Died In Office

Mortuis Honoris Datus

William Henry Harrison the hero of the battle of Tippecanoe. Sworn in March 4, 1841 where he caught a bad cold and then died April 4, 1841. Historians who rate Presidents always rate this guy near the bottom but that's not really fair, as he was dead for 3 years and 11 months of his first term. Some of these historians are meanies.

Abraham Lincoln Sworn in March 4, 1861 assassinated April 14, 1865. One of the great tragedies in American history. He was shot in the back of the head in Ford's theater while watching the play 'Our American Cousin'. His wife wanted to see the play. He should have let her go and stayed home. Both General Grant and Capt. Robert Todd Lincoln, Lincoln's son, declined to go as they were tired. No, there was no internet, cable TV, streaming or even the old broadcast TV. That's why they had to go to Ford's theater. Like we said, one of the great tragedies in American history. 

James A Garfield Sworn in March 4, 1881, shot on July 2, 1881 and then died two and a half months later on September 19, 1881. Garfield is usually ranked somewhere in the middle of the pack. Like in the 20's which might be kind of nice. Considerably nicer than they rank Harrison, seeing as how Garfield was only President a few months longer than ole Tippecanoe. So it could be just a nice gesture for a guy who got shot. Or it could mean these historian meanies, just hate twenty or so other guys who were President, a whole lot more.

BTW Robert Todd Lincoln was Garfield's Secretary of War and an eye witness to the assassination.

William McKinley Sworn in March 4, 1897 shot on September 6, 1901 and dies a week later on September 14, 1901. This assassination thing is getting to be a bad habit for this young nation. McKinley is ranked pretty high. He's usually in the top 20. The moral of the story here is, don't try to shake hands with a guy who has his hand wrapped in a handkerchief. This guy, the assassin, Leon Czolgosz, had a gun in his.

BTW Robert Todd Lincoln was just outside of the building when McKinley was shot.

Warren G. Harding. Sworn in March 4, 1921 and died of a heart attack August 2, 1923. Warren G, returned the died in office, back to natural causes, instead of getting shot. Harding was a very popular President while alive but after he died, there were all kinds of scandals that came out. People getting caught with their hand in the till and well it seemed Warren G, cheated on his wife. Sort of like a whole lot of Presidents that came after him. The history meanies don't rate him too high, while they rate some of the other guys who had scandals and cheated on their wives, a lot higher.

FDR Sworn in March 4, 1932, died April 12, 1945 from a brain hemorrhage. Hey the guy ran and got elected four times. He was in office for over 12 years, what did anyone expect? He was going to live forever? But the whole country was in shock and saddened. A whole lot of people didn't even remember the guy before him.

JFK Sworn in January 20, 1961, assassinated November 23, 1963. And, now it was back to getting assassinated, as the reason for died in office. This assassination is the first one caught on film. Then the unfolding events, the shooting of the assassin Lee Harvey Oswald, the funeral and the unending commentary where the TV talking heads would get all choaked up, were all on TV. This is also one of the great who dun it's, as almost no one believes the official document, The Warren Report, on the assassination anymore.

BTW Robert Todd Lincoln wasn't at this one. So far as we know.

Joe Biden. Sworn in January 20, 2021 and you may say he's still walking around but trust us, he's dead. When the leaders of your own party, a whole lot of the Cognoscenti of the Known World, the TV Talking Heads and actor George Clooney, tell you not to run right in the middle of your re-election campaign, it means you're dead. Even if you're still walking around in the White House.

While we don't have a date for the funeral trust us, it's already planned; the burial plot picked out, his obituary written, the media has the little 1 and 2 minute video clips, that will encapsulate his life, all set up and ready to go. President DJT's staff has already written his remarks as well. Remarks, where he doesn't call him Sleepy Joe or the worst President of all time. DJT will just say a few nice things because Joe Biden will be among the mortuis honoris datus, the honored dead. The funeral home is just waiting for the phone call.

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Nice Work If You Can Get It

 

Aaron Donald, Los Angeles Ram and three time NFL's Defensive Player of the Year, has a Stalker.  She is Jenelle Anwar.  Usually the Stalker is a man and he's obsessed with a woman but there are Stalkers who have been known to be female.  So that's nothing new.  And celebrities have been known to have Stalkers of all kinds.  Some who break into their homes and some who even cause harm to them.  But Jenelle is a little different.  She wants a divorce.  Even though she's never even been in the same room with Aaron Donald.  She filed papers in court and she wants $1,500 a month in alimony.  Nice work if you can get it and we guess you can get it if you try.*  That's a riff off of a line from an old song.

And Six time Jeopardy champion Andrew Hayes did not get final jeopardy in that sixth game but he was so far in front that the other two contestants couldn't catch him.  He had 28,800 going into final Jeopardy and he bet 8,800 so he lost that 8,800 and only wound up with 20,000.  As opposed to 37,600 if he would have gotten final Jeopardy right or the 28,800 if he'd just bet nothing.  But leave it to Ken Jennings to put things in perspective when he said.  "Twenty thousand dollars for a half hours work, not too bad."  Andrew lost in his 7th game but his six wins gave him $137,804.  Nice work if you can get it and you can get it if you try.

Now the Enchanted Six pictured above, took to the skies in their Blue Origin capsule and landed to a chorus of boos.  Then came the memes making fun and the cruel jokes.  We won't repeat them here as we don't do nasty, even if it's funny.  Well sometimes we do but we try not to.  Also people pointed out that the Blue Origin craft didn't go up that high and it looked like a chance to take selfies more than a Space flight.  So they weren't really Astronauts, as they claimed to be.

In response to the negativity Gail King of the CBS morning show said she was like Alan Shepard.  Alan Shepard was the first American and only second man in Space.  He rode into Space on a first generation ballistic missile and it had a tendency to blow up during its tests.  Also Alan Shepard was a graduate of Annapolis, a veteran of WWII, a test pilot and one of the few men to walk on the moon.  So, she might want to re-think that one.  Also, Alan Shepard wore a helmet.  All Astronauts wear helmets.  The Enchanted Six did not wear helmets.  It would have ruined their hair, in the selfies.

But don't feel bad for Gayle King, she gets 12 million a year to read off a teleprompter, asks questions and talk about whatever.  And that is nice work if you can get it and you could never get that, no matter how hard you try.  Fugettaboutittitt!

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* 'Nice Work If You Can Get It' by George and Ira Gershwin

Who'd A' Thunk It?

While this should be headlines and it's not, Bill Maher went to dinner with Donald John Trump, HLH, HIAH, 45th and 47th POTUS.  This after the two of them have traded insults for at least a decade.  Insults like Maher comparing Trump to Hitler on numerous occasions and referring to Trump as that "that crazy person in the White House".  Trump in turn has called Maher among other things a "sleaze-bag" and "a low-life dummy".  But amazingly after having dinner with DJT, Maher said, he felt, that he  "connected" with him.  And that DJT "listened" unlike other prominent people he'd met with.  All in all Maher walked away from the dinner no longer thinking DJT was like Hitler or "that crazy person living in the White House".  Basically, Maher thinks that DJT, is a good guy.  Who'd A Thunk It?

And beloved former producer of The Real Housewives shows, Patrick MacDonald says.  It's a "real bummer" when some of the The Housewives get sober.  Who'd A' Thunk that?  We mean who would think that anyone getting sober was a bad thing?  Especially, someone who works with and supposedly cares about his employees.  Employees who think of him as beloved.  Well, if you ever watch these shows you'll see that the women go on these road trips to some luxurious setting like Turks and Caicos.  They get put up in some luxurious house.  Then they go to dinner at some fabulous restaurant, where some of them drink too much.  By the time they get back to the luxurious house, they are fighting and throwing things.  That makes for good Reality T V.  So when they sober up, they don't fight.  They don't throw things.  They get boring.  So we sort of see the Producer's point here.

And New York State's Department of Environmental Conservation raided the home of Mark Longo in Pine City.  There were 12 agents and they were there because of complaints from the neighbors about the wild animals in Mark Longo's animal refuge.  Who were these wild animals?  Well they were Fred the Raccoon and the beloved P'Nut pictured above.  Both animals were tested for Rabies and both were negative.  In spite of that, the New York State's Department of Environmental Conservation disposed of them.  How?  By cutting off their heads!  Yeah, just like they were Louis XVI and his wife Marie Antoinette.  Who knew they did things like this?  Who even knew there was a New York State Department of Environmental Conservation?  Who knew they had 12 agents?  Who'd A Thunk any of this?

Now we hate to leave on a discordant note but we have to tell it like it is, for the public good.

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Not Quite Dead

The shocking news that hit last week, was Virginia Giuffre had only 4 days to live.  She'd been in a car that was going at 110k per hour and as she put it, "no matter what you hit at that speed it's not good."  And as a result of that car crash, she only had 4 days to live.  In case you forgot, which is easy to do nowadays, Virginia Giuffre was the woman who brought down Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell.  She was one of the underage, young girls that were sex trafficked by the infamous pair of Epstein/Maxwell.  And, just in case you forgot, there was the famous, no infamous picture, of Prince Andrew with his arm around Virginia, while they were both on the infamous, Epstein Island.  She took Prince Andrew down too, along with 12 million Pounds, British Sterling.  And, last week the bruised and battered face of Virginia Giuffre looked out at the world from her Instagram page, as if to say haven't I suffered enough?  And then her actual words.  "I only have 4 days to live"

Well it turns out it wasn't all that bad.  The 4 days have passed and she's not quite dead.  And, not due to die, anytime soon either.

And also in the news was the retirement of Johnny Mathis.  In case you don't remember, Johnny Mathis was a really big time, romantic singer from the 50's and 60's with many big hits and gold records.  He was so popular that he managed to keep drawing audiences though smaller, until he was 89.  Back in the day, they used to say that he caused more pregnancies than any singer who ever lived, as guys used to play his records to get their dates in the mood.  But at the age of 89, the strain of performing was just too much and Johnny said.  "That's enough."  And, this isn't a sad ending at all, as we're betting that a lot of you who remember him, are happy to learn that Johnny Mathis, just like Virginia Giuffre, is still alive and kicking.  And certainly, not quite dead.

And, Jordon Hudson just celebrated her 24th birthday.  Who you might ask?  Well she was a cheerleader.  But that was awhile ago.  No, she's in the news, as she is the girlfriend of 72 year old 6 time Super Bowl Champion, Head Coach, Bill Belichick.

After a few losing seasons and in spite of winning those 6 Super Bowls, The New England Patriots fired Bill Belichick..  You would think that a 72 year old, fired NFL Head Coach was finished, washed up, dead in the water.  But then along came Jordon Hudson.  Here they are together.

Then the University of North Carolina, hired him as their Head Coach.  And sometimes Colleges pay their Head Coaches, more than the NFL.  So here's another guy, who's not quite dead.  Not, by a long shot.

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Quiz Time

Yes it’s that time again. Time to see if you have been paying attention and if you have grasped what is going on in the world. Remember “Democracy dies in darkness.”

Question 1.

D.O.G.E. is

A. An old car company from the 20th century.

B. A game played by kids in the 1950’s.

C. Something you do on or about April 15th of every year.

D. None of the above.

Question 2.

As April 15th looms on the horizon, we’ve have found out that.

A. I.R.S. workers pay their taxes on time, just like you and me. Or as one I.R.S. employee said. “We’re no better than anyone else. We have a duty just like all Americans, to pay our taxes.”

B. They have until Christmas to file their own tax returns.

C. I.R.S. employees owe 45 million in back taxes. Or as one I.R.S. employee said. “We run the joint. If we don’t pay our taxes what are you going to do about it? Who are you going to call?”

D. Answers A and B but not C.

E. Answers A and C but not B.

Question 3

Disney’s latest live action remake of Snow White is

A. A movie that is breaking box office records and is better than the original.

B. A movie about a girl and an apple.

C. A movie about a girl and some short guys.

D. A movie that redefines what it means to be a girl, along with, some short guys and an apple.

E. A and C.

F. B and C.

Question 4

The Trump Administration inadvertently let a reporter listen in on a meeting that discussed the bombing of the Houthis in Yemen.

A. This is a serious breech of security because the Houthis now know who bombed them.

B. This is a serious breech of security because the Houthis now know which type of airplanes, bombed them.

C. This is not a such serious breech of security as a whole lot of the Houthis went on the get the 72 virgin package, so they never found out who bombed them. The could only guess.

D. A and B but not C.

E. B and C but not A.

F. All of the above.

This quiz was a little tough as there is more than one correct answer to some of the questions here. We like to do this because it forces the student to focus. Quizzes like life, are not fair.

Answers. Each correct answer is worth 25 points.

Question 1. Answer is D. This one was easy but maybe a little tricky, as there is only one D in D.O.G.E. Just like there is no I, in team.

Question 2. Answer is E, as both A and C are true. This one was a little tough, as the news reported that I.R.S. employees owe 45 million in back taxes but we assume that it wasn’t all of the I.R.S. employees. There are always people in any situation, who do the right thing. Even paying their taxes.

Question 3. Answer F. This was a little tough, as we didn’t bother to see the movie. But we do know that they kept the apple in this version and there are some short guys. Originally there were Dwarfs in the tale of Snow White but we’re not sure if we can use that term or if you can put actual Dwarfs in a movie nowadays. But we do know that the guys in the new movie are short. We could have or should have a more definitive question but then for that to happen, someone would have had to sit through the whole movie. So, give yourself 10 points for any answer you put down but only F, gets 25 points.

Question 4. Answer A, B, C, D, E & F. With all the crazy reporting on the matter, you can give yourself 25 points for any answer here. We’re tough task masters but we’re not heartless.

If you got 100, CONGRTUALTIONS! You’re a winner baby! We used to give out prizes but with the price of eggs nowadays, not to mention gas… We knew you would understand. So now, no prizes but the heartfelt knowledge, that you know what’s going on the world.

If you got anything less… Well this was a little tough, as there were multiple correct answers and fake news being what it is, trying to figure what’s actually going on in the world, is not so easy. If you were able to complete all the questions, give yourself a pat on the back.

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FUGGETTAABOUTTTITT!

Not since Who Shot J.R. has there been so much anticipation over the release of anything like there has been over the release, of the remaining JFK files.  Oh wait, most of you might not remember Who Shot J.R.?  There was this TV show called 'Dallas' and J.R. was the mega rich, shady, double dealing character, who got shot in the last episode of a season.  Everyone had to wait till the next season to find out if J.R. lived and Who Shot J.R.?  'Dallas' was the number 1, T.V. show back in the day, when that designation meant something.  Just about everyone in the country got into 'Who Shot J.R., including people who never watched the show.  Betting on the question of 'Who Shot J.R. grew rapidly and odds on the different characters in show, were set, just like it was the Superbowl.  Then office pools were set up as well.  Again, just like the Superbowl.  The betting was fierce and almost every office had a pool.  JFK, on the other hand, was the 35th President of the United States and he was assassinated in Dallas, no connection to the TV show, back on November 23, 1963.

At first, we were told and most everyone believed, that the assassination of JFK was the work of a lone gunman, Lee Harvey Oswald.  But a few years later the conspiracy theories began and they haven't stopped since.  We've always had our money on LBJ, who had been the Vice President but we're not into conspiracy theories, so we've never printed that before.  But now, with the release of all the files, we know...  Well... nothing.

And this after all these years of conspiracy theories on top of conspiracy theories.  Theories  like...  It was the C.I.A, the F.B.I, the Joint Chiefs, the Mafia, the Russians, Fidel Castro, Cuban Exiles, the Bay of Pigs survivors, the Watergate Burglars, All of the Above, Some of the Above and just about anyone else, you want to throw in there, like LBJ, our favorite.  And, even though there is nothing in this new release of the files, it won't stop the conspiracy theorists.  It will just whet their appetites.  They will see conspiracy in any mention of the aforementioned cohorts and others we and you have forgotten about.  Hell, the conspiracy theorists will see conspiracies in the smudges and coffee stains, left on the documents.

In the end, the President got assassinated.  Like it of not, everyone got over it.  Even Jackie his wife, who married a billionaire.  And, the rest of the Kennedys too, who went on to drive their cars, boats and planes into things just like they always did.  Rumor has it that they weren't too good, with wagons and carts back in the old country.

There is never going to be a note in any file that says.  'I shot the President from the Grassy Knoll.  Yours truly, Joe Meltzer.'  

It's going to be just like Who Shot J.R.?  Once everyone knew it was Kristen, his Sister-in-law/Mistress and all the bettors and the office pool winners were paid off, it was just one big FUGGETTAABOUTTITT!!!

So everyone, just FUGGETTAABOUTTITT!!!

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P.S. J.R. survived getting shot and went on to be the shady, double dealing character for quite a few more seasons of 'Dallas'.

Missing A Few Things

Now if you watched the President's speech the other night you could see a lot of the democrats holding up signs.  Some of them you couldn't read, as the print was too small or the powers that be, didn't want you to see them, so the camera didn't stay on them too long.  So, you might have missed a few things.

One sign said.  'Go Fund Me@#######'*

Another one said.  'Will work for food.'

And, still another said.  'Elon is my Daddy.'

Then there is the WOWTMSM or What Once Was The Main Stream Media.  ABC News now averages 6.69 million viewers a night.  NBC News 5.79 million, a night and CBS News 4.49  million a night.  Since the population of the US of A is 345 million people, those numbers are pretty bad.  But they get worse because among the coveted demographic, people aged 24 to 54, these news shows are only drawing; ABC 886,000 viewers, NBC 842,000 and CBS 638,000.  So if you're under 55 and that's over 99% of the country, whatever was on those shows, you missed.

And P. Diddy, Diddy, Puffy, Puffy Daddy, Puff, Love, Brother Love, Sean Combs stories have gone puff.  This after a veritable parade of indictments, lawsuits, stories of orgies, rapes, gang rapes, human trafficking, drugs, guns and all of it recorded, has run its course.  All the while P. Diddy rots away in the MDC in Brooklyn, proclaiming his innocence and awaiting his trial.  So, if you miss all the salacious P. Diddy, Diddy, Puffy, Puffy Daddy, Puff, Love, Brother Love, Sean Combs escapades, rest assured, he misses them too.

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 * Name of the site was REDACTED by The Editors.

Who?

Jeffrey Epstein files were released!  But well, what was there?  Flight logs and Jeffrey's contact list.  Stuff everyone's already seen and heard of.  And, we all know that just because someone flew on Jeffrey's plane or he had their phone number and email, doesn't mean anything.  So, there was much gnashing of teeth and finger pointing over what wasn't there.  Because what everyone wants to know, except for "certain people", is, who got serviced?

The "certain people" already know and they just don't want you to know, who got serviced.

What most people did not pay any attention to, was the list of recordings.  Seems like those recordings covered a very long time period because some are listed as VHS and then other various types of devices we've all used over the years, all the way through to micro disc recordings.  Now what everyone wants to see, are those recordings.  Because we'd all like to see, who got serviced.  And, preferably while they were getting serviced.

Is this an invasion of their privacy?  No, because these are people who never get tired of telling us what to think, how to live and who to vote for.  So, if they got caught in flagrante delicto, we'd like to see that too.  It would create a certain symmetry in our minds about them.

And, for those of you who are worried that seeing certain politicians, actors, celebrities of renown and Know-It-Alls in flagrante delicto, will in turn, bring down society as we know it...  Fugheettaaboutit!  

There isn't going to be anyone whose life measures up to a hill of beans or means diddly squat to your real life.  It's just going to be, some, of the usual suspects.

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Be Careful Elon

We were able to track down  Clyde Kiddlehopper because he'd written us a letter and he consented to an interview.

NYUGGE Just how old are you Mr. Kiddlehopper?

Mr. K.  I don't rightly know.  I can remember when the President got shot.

NYUGGE You mean President Kennedy?

Mr. K Oh no, no.  What was his name?  Gar something.

NYUGE You mean Garfield?

Mr. K Yeah yeah.  That was it.  But I was a little boy then,

NYUGGE That makes you like a 150 something.

Mr. K.  Sounds right.

NYUGGE Now we hope you don't mind us asking but do you collect Social Security?

Mr. K Of course.

NYUGE For how long?

Mr. K. Since they started sending out the checks in1940.

Then we interviewed Martha Strangelove.  She contacted us.

NYUGGE It's nice to meet you Ms. Strangelove.

Ms. S Thank you and it's Mrs.  Mr. has been gone a while but I'm a Mrs. not a Miss or Ms. anything.  And, you can call me Martha.

NYUGGE  If you don't mind us asking Martha how old are you?

Ms. Well I don't like to normally divulge my age but this is for something important.  I'm 175 years old.

NYUGGE  That means you were born in 1850?

Mrs. S  Yup.  I can remember when the President was shot.

NYUGGE  That was President...

Mrs. S.  Lincoln.  I was 15 then.  It was right about when the war ended.

NYUGGE  And do you collect Social Security?

Mrs. S  Of course since they started sending out the checks in 1940.

NYUGGE  Did your husband collect?

Mrs. S  Of course.  He still does.

NYUGGE  When did he pass away?

Mrs. S  Oh 1966.

NYUGGE  And you still get the checks?

Mrs. S  Of course.  Goes right into the bank every month along with mine.  Now let me tell this Elon something.  You better not mess around with my money.  I've got my shotgun. I'll come looking for you.  Some of us are what they call Senior Seniors and we need our money.  Try finding a job at my age.  And, don't forget we vote too.

So there you have it Elon right from the horses mouth, so to speak.  So be careful and don't let our Senior, Seniors down.  

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The Mail Is In

Every once in a while we get mail the old fashion way, snail mail, as it's called.  And, we feel duty bound to answer those, just as we answer all other comments.  If someone took the time to read our column and respond, we feel duty bound to answer.  Even if sometimes the writing is in crayon and hard to decipher.  There's too many to print here but rest assured everyone is answered.  Here are a few.

'Dear Nazis,

Don't you realize that the people in Gaza need condoms!  You idiots!  You are all idiots!  So, I will keep this simple for you.  Condoms = no babies.  No babies = no abortions.  And you should be happy with that!!!  And no babies means, no terrorists, as all terrorist were babies once.  

NAZIS!!! RIGHT WING NUTS!!!  IDIOTS!!!

In disgust, 

Karen ,Karen

Dear Karen, Karen,  We never thought of that.  Hmmm.

Sincerely, 

The Staff

'Dear Libtoid scum,

How dare you compare our President to Hitler!'  I would use some real curse words much stronger than scum but but I don't use such language.

Yours truly, 

Clyde Kididillhopper

Dear Clyde,  We just present the facts.  You decide.  

The Staff'

'Dear Whistling Past The Graveyard People'

Okay, okay keep making funny comparisons of Trump to Hitler but you'll see.  You'll be sorry.  You'll get yours'.

Seth Fallon

Dear Seth, 

Everyone gets what's coming to them.  We'll get ours.  You'll get yours.  But at least you saw the satire,  even if you failed to get a few laughs, which is the whole point here.

The Staff

Now this one was in crayon but we re printed it out so you would be able to read it.

DEER LAMbains,

It tak me 2 weeks to calm dwn enough to rite this.  OW dar U say the Mainstreet medya is threw?  I stll wach it evry nite.  Wha pruff do u ave?

F U

Charyly

Dear Charyly,

Check the ratings.

Thank you.

The Staff

And to everyone keep those comments, emails and yes even letters coming in.

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Things You Never Thought Of

"If you're blue, and you don't know where to go to

Why don't you go where fashion sits?
Puttin' on the Ritz
Different types who wear a day coat
Pants with stripes and cutaway coat, perfect fits
Puttin' on the Ritz

Dressed up like a million-dollar trouper
Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper (super duper)"*

This is from an old song, so if its unfamiliar, it's all good.  And this is also a picture at the top of this column from the guy who sang it, Fred Astaire.  You can see also see that it's from an old black and white movie.  Also Gary Cooper was a very elegant looking actor who you also probably never heard of.  But you get the picture.  People getting dressed up and going out on the town.  That's a universal in any generation, which brings us to our point here, who ever thought of doing this in Gaza?  Bet you never did.

And, the revelations are astounding!  USAID spent 50 million dollars for condoms in Gaza.  Then they spent  another 2.5 million to fund EVs in Viet Nam.  Of course there's a whole bunch of other stuff.  You can look it up too.  But we're a little constricted by space here and again, you get the picture.  Now are we the only ones thinking that the 50 million never got to Gaza?  We mean how could anyone spend 50 million dollars on condoms?  They don't cost that much and there aren't that many people in Gaza who need condoms.  Also, are we alone in wondering if the 2.5 million ever got to anyone in Viet Nam?  I know we've been called cynics before but we cant' help but wonder if these entities, were ever real?  Are you or anyone else thinking that?

Now all this stuff is about waste, fraud and scandal that no one ever knew about.  But do you know what the rest of the government is doing with your money?  We mean even the  things that are legitimate, supposedly.  Who gets paid?  And, we don't just mean the employees but all the contractors that Federal, State and City governments hire.  We like to call this what are they doing over there at the Department of Agriculture?  We're sure if you look it up there will be a nice mission statement and some paragraphs describing what they do.  But like what are the employees doing over there, when they show up to work?  We could repeat this question for The Department of Energy and just about every government, Federal, State and City, agency.  We don't know.  We're not smarter than you.  Bet you never thought of asking though.  We never mentioned it before because we're pretty sure the idea, would have fallen on deaf ears  But now...  Well, maybe, people will start to wonder.

Dicens simile factum est

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*Irving Berlin