Who'd A Thunk it?

For all you men out there this one really has to hurt.  Seems when Pete Davidson told Kim Kardashian.  "Let's get some ice cream.  Let's go to Thrifty's."  Well...  How can we put this since we're a family channel...  She just melted.  Actually, in the interest of accuracy and journalism in general we have to use her actual language and she said when Pete said that she got "so f*cking horny".  Sorry about that.  But who knew?  We mean guys, think about all the money you spent on dinners, concerts, trips to somewhere, rings, not to mention mortgage payments and maybe all you had to do was head to Thrifty's for some ice cream.  Who'd a' thunk it?

And Prince Charles the Man Who Would Be King and sooner than later, has been admonished by members of the Prime Minister's Cabinet for making political statements.  Seems Bonnie Prince Charlie the Man Who Would Be King and sooner than you may think, has spoken out against the current government policy of relocating asylum seekers to Rwanda.  And the Politicos say that's not his job!  But Charlies is The Prince of Wales, Earl of Chester, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Lord of the Isles, Barron of Renfrew, Prince and Steward of Great Scotland and soon to be The King!  What are they saying here, that all that doesn't mean a thing, anymore?  And, it used to be good to be The King.  Ahh who'd a' thunk it?

And who'd a' thunk this one.  Californians fed up with high crime, high taxes, high cost of living and the homeless everywhere they turn, are now not just fleeing to Texas and Arizona but also to Mexico!  Especially if they work remotely or if they can buy a home close to the border so they can commute easily.  This in turn is driving housing prices up in Mexico.  Mexican citizens are outraged as they are being priced out of their own neighborhoods!  Oh, the humanity! 

Maybe they should build a wall. 

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

A Symbol For Our Time?

We've been discussing this for the last few weeks around here and it's what Amber Heard left in the bed for Johnny Depp to find, when he woke up.  We've been wondering if that little pile of human residue might stand for something.  Something more than just a little pile.  It has left an indelible image, as once seen, it can hardly be unseen. Maybe it's a symbol of the times we live in?  Maybe it's even iconic?

Take the Kung Flu... please.  Perhaps it should be the mask, as the symbol of what The Pandemic was all about.  But then after two years they told us that most of the masks we were all wearing didn't work.  We should have been wearing the NK95 mask.  All the rest, the paper ones that Surgeons wear on TV shows, the bandannas that made the wearer look like he was going to hold up the next Stagecoach and especially the cloth ones that most of us were wearing, as you could wash them and use them again, well... They just weren't up to par.  They didn't really offer any protection.  But then we had to keep wearing the masks, the paper ones, the bandannas and the cloth ones, none of which worked.  And, we've noticed lately that people are discarding the masks even though the case load is roaring along at 105,000 cases a day.  So the mask just wouldn't suffice, as a symbol of The Pandemic.  No, we're all coming around to the idea that the symbol of The Pandemic, should be what Amber left in the bed for Johnny, when he woke up. 

Take the price of a gallon of gasoline.  You could just take a picture of the sign at the gas station as the price keeps rising and it gets over $5.00 and say that says it all.  But does it really?  Does it measure all the exasperation, the pain and the anger as rising prices drain your wallet?  Not hardly.  Would a picture of Old Brains Biden with a caption 'What Me Worry' suffice?  No, the poor man's mind is gone.  He doesn't know.  No, the real symbol of The Great Gas Debacle of 2022 is more like what Amber left in the bed for Johnny, when he woke up. 

Maybe we should make a Poster or a Flag?  There's already an emoji for it. No, a statue.  Then it would really be iconic.  But no, people would object, protest and demonstrate, again. What could be more boring than that? No, maybe since the image is so indelible and once seen cannot be unseen, maybe all we need do is recall it, whenever and wherever it applies.

Dicen simile factum est 

Pro Bono Publico 

A Bad Week

Star crossed lovers Casey the murder suspect and Vicky the Jail Guard, took off on a Bonnie and Clyde type of jaunt after she helped him escape.  All manner of law enforcement were hot on their heels.  U.S. Marshalls finally caught up to them and ran their car off the road.  She then turned her gun on herself.

And, in Wallkill NY an NYPD Police officer tracked his wife and her 20 year old lover to a motel.  Then, after a wild car chase, he shot the 20 year old lover multiple times.  Then the Officer turned his gun on himself.  The wife was unharmed.  All in all, it was a bad week for love.

And Vladimir Putin was seen at the 77th Russian Victory Day over the Nazis Parade with a blanket over his lap.  This blanket seems to have some great significance to the Cognoscenti of The Known World, that escapes us.  They see ill health in that blanket, as if it was the Scythe of the Grim Reaper, who was coming to pick it and Vlad up later.  Not that Vlad is 70 years old and feels the cold a little more nowadays.  No, the rumors which emanate from The Cognoscenti themselves, are that Vlad has everything from Alzheimer's to Dementia (nothing new among world leaders today) to Parkinson's to Cancer.

And, the war in Ukraine isn't going so well for Vlad, as he's losing guys, tanks, planes and even ships.  Then they seized Vlad's 700 or 800 million dollar yacht and well, when was the last time Vlad had a good week?  Come to think about it when was the last time our President Old Brains, had a good week?

And and ex-staffer of John McCain who was a hero, and yes we have dropped to one knee and are genuflecting at the mention of his name, we always do, but this ex-staffer claims that John McCain who was a hero and yes we have dropped to one knee and are genuflecting as the mention of his name, we always do, but this ex-staffer says yes, he can confirm the rumor that John McCain had a long time affair with a lobbyist.  And, he sent government business her way.  And yes!  This aide goes on to say that John McCain also had ties to Vladimir Putin!  So will this tarnish the image of John McCain, hero?  Did he have a bad week too?  Only time will tell.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

WAAAA!!!

Anyone besides us seem to notice that every few weeks there is a whole bunch of people just going WAAAA!!!  This last week someone leaked a future Supreme Court decision.  WAAAA!!!  Of course there is also a huge hue and cry over who leaked it WAAAA!!!!!  Why?  Was this going to be a state secret?  Something like the NOC list in the first Mission Impossible movie or the identities of British Secret Agents in the James Bond movie Skyfall?  Something who's contents are so secret that no one could ever know about them?  You know one of these things where if the contents become known, governments would topple and people would die?  So people found out now instead of when?  A few weeks from now?  WAAAA!!!!  There has been so much WAAAA!!!!! over this that everyone seems to have forgotten that Elon Musk bought Twitter.

And over there in Fairfax Virginia  actress Amber Heard is going WAAAA!!! as the defamation trial brought by her ex-husband Johnny Depp who went WAAAA!!! first, is going on.  No wait, she said WAAAA!!! first, as she said he beat her.  But he now says no, he didn't beat her, he only hit her.  So wait, maybe she went WAAAA!!! first.  That's why they call these things, he said, she said.  But because she said he beat her, he can't find work in Hollyweird to the tune of 50 million dollars, so WAAAA!!!  Poor babies.  And as the dirty laundry of their marriage spills out and we mean dirty, as he once woke up to find she took a dump in his bed, it sounds like they had a helluva marriage.

And some guy ran on stage and tackled comedian Dave Chappelle near the end of his show.  Chappelle got knocked down but he took the guy with him.  Then the guy got escorted backstage by ten guys.  The guy who might have been trying to audition for the NFL, later emerged on an ambulance gurney headed for the ER.  Looks like he got to go WAAAA!!! for real.  

But the moral of the story here is if you feel the urge to go WAAAA!!! maybe you want to count to ten first, or take a pill or a drink of some hard stuff.  Or go close the bedroom door and let it out in private.  But don't go WAAAA!!! out loud in public.  Have a little class.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

OMG!

Dr. Faucci said.  "The US is out of the Pandemic phase."  OMG!  No, that is a double OMG!!  Now we checked the CDC data tracker and we noticed that the daily average of cases is still ringing in at 47,000 plus.  More or less at the same rate when the Pandemic was in it's heyday in early 2020.  So we're kind of wondering if the Pandemic is really over or has Dr. Faucci just noticed that everyone is taking off the masks and not listening to him anymore?

And, yes fans Elon Musk, he of Tesla, Space X and Pay Pal has taken over Twitter!  That is another double OMG!!  I mean you would think from all the hue and cry and all the tears shed over this sale, that the Titanic had sunk again.  Or at the very least they were making another movie or documentary about the Titanic sinking again.  Besides, we love the sound of tears in the morning.  They sound like... victory.

And, you have to hand it to Elon Musk.  For years, no for decades conservatives have been crying like little b*tches about how unfair the lame stream media and the social media are towards them.  Aside from crying like little bit*hes they have never done anything.  Along comes Elon and we don't even know if he's particularly political but he doesn't like the way Twitter operates, so just buys the damn thing.  You could say that Elon is the richest man in the world but he's not even using his own money.  He lined up a bunch of investors.  And, we're sort of wondering if all the crying little bitc*es are now saying OMG why didn't we think of something like this?  Maybe they're even going double OMG!!, why didn't we think of doing something like this?  Probably not. 

And yeah that's a picture of Dustin Johnson and Paulina Gretzky from their wedding at the top of the page.  We wish them both health, happiness and many years together.  And, if she's not double OMG!!, then no one is.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

Tweedledee

Once upon a time...  There was a world without Twitter.  No one wanted to buy it for 40 billion plus dollars.  No one spent 3 billion to buy up 9.2% of it to become its leading shareholder.  No one sent evil tweets.  No one was banned from it.  No one had even heard of it.  It didn't exist.  Somehow this world went on.  Where was this place?  Well it was right here, same place you're in now.  It was just 2006 and anytime in 2006 before July.  That's not so long ago.  We're not talking about going back to some golden era like Prohibition or WWII.  Even the Millennials, can remember 2006.

Here are some statistics.  There are 396.5 million Twitter users in this world.  But as we've learned some of them are fake.  Certain celebrities got caught buying up thousands of fake members so they could look more popular than they were.  206 million of all Twitter users, Tweet in a given day but 75% of them are not in the US of A.  That means 54 million Americans Tweet on a daily basis but that also means 276 million do not.  54 million is very close to the 53 million Americans who use illegal drugs.  Not that there is any relationship between the two numbers.  We just want to put the whole Twitter thing in perspective.  In short, if you've never used illegal drugs or never sent out a tweet, does it matter?

Now here are some tweets.  

'It's my birthday.  I have 382 followers can I get 400?'.  

'What is your favorite place you traveled to?'

'Do you believe that writing by hand improves the stories?'

And, we left the names out here to protect the innocent but on this next one you might guess, as this guy has been banned.  'Lock her up.'

But once again, if you never saw these, would it matter?

Now please do not perceive this article as some kind of a pejorative swipe at Twitter.  We love Twitter.  We're on Twitter.  In fact, you might be reading this via Twitter.  So, Vive le Twitter!  And, we hope as always that we gave you a few smiles and we hope we've added a little perspective  Maybe we've broadened the horizon a bit.  But once again, if you never saw this, would it matter?

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico

The Guillotine

The word started as a whisper.  Then it popped up in an article here and there.  Then it got a little louder and started coming off of the lips of GOP House Reps.  Now, Kevin McCarthy GOP Minority Leader of the House of Representatives is warning against it.  That word...  Impeachment!

If the GOP that's short for Grand Old Party aka The Republicans can retake the House this fall, they want to impeach Old Brains Joe Biden!  Hell, there's evidence the old boy and his son have been taking bribes.  This would be easy, a slam dunk.  No shifting through years of emails, phone calls, recordings and the taking of depositions.  All they'd have to do is check the bank accounts.  And, of course the safety deposit boxes.  Where did all the money come from?

Now put this together with the ongoing and never ending investigations of former President Trump and former Presidential candidate HerHillaryness, then throw in all the Celebrities and Talking Heads who have been wished away to the Cornfields on a somewhat regular basis and we say it's time to bring back The Guillotine!

 

For those of you who don't know, The Guillotine pictured above is a very old, very quick and extremely efficient form of execution.  The huge blade is suspended above the neck of the condemned.  Then the blade is dropped and gaining momentum as if falls, it chops the head off of the condemned, in a nanosecond.  Like we said quick, clean and efficient.  Probably far more humane than hanging, electrocution or even lethal injection which if not done properly, can get very messy and painful.  Hell, even when those methods work properly, they gotta hurt.  But with the Guillotine, it's just Swoosh and the recipient is off to Eternity.

The Guillotine reached its zenith of renown during and after French Revolution.  Once they were done with chopping off the head of the King Louis IVI and his wife Marie Antoinette, The French Assembly, our version of the Congress, started taking off each other's heads.  Why?  Well it was the money.  After the King was gone, it was what do we do with all the money.  Try to remember this.  It is always, the money.  That's what people are always screaming about.  It's not what they're saying, not the words, not the slogans, not the passionate causes or anything else they're yelling about.  It's the money.  It's why wars are fought.  It's why husbands kill wives and vice versa.  It's who gets what.  It makes people scream.

Hell, even the recipients might prefer it.  No more endless investigations.  No more indictments, real or threatened.  No more Impeachments.  No more endless apology tours that never work, as people don't want apologies, they want blood.  No more trying to resurrect dead careers.  No more being whisked away to some unheard of cable channel or obscure podcast no one watches.  No, just the finely sharpened blade, swoosh and only one person to make an explanation to, Saint Peter.

And, then when enough heads have been tossed and enough blood has been spilled, maybe the screaming, the yelling, and the hurling of accusations will subside.  Maybe.

Dicens simile factum est

Pro Bono Publico