CNN We Hardly Knew Ye

There is this song 'Johnny We Hardly Knew Ye'* and it's sung to the same tune, as the song 'When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again'.  But unlike the Johnny who comes marching home from war to "the men will cheer the boys will shout, the ladies they will all turn out".  This Johnny We Hardly Knew Ye^, will go off to war and be unable to come marching home triumphant because he's lost his legs and an arm.  In some renditions of the song, he's also blind.  This Johnny is sitting in front of his beggars bowl when he is met by his lover and his child.  He is so maimed by war, that she almost doesn't recognize him and almost passes him by.  Hence the "Johnny we hardly knew ye."  For you romantics out there, she does take him home.  But we think these two songs are very apropos of CNN, especially the latter one.

Back in the day when cable TV just burst out all over, CNN was all over the place.  If you walked through an airport, CNN was playing on every TV outlet they had.  If you went for a haircut or were just sitting somewhere that decided to have a TV on, there was CNN.  And then just like both Johnnies, CNN went off to war.  At first it was all good.  When we bombed Baghdad back 1991 CNN newsmen were in Baghdad, reporting as the bombs were falling.  CNN became the number one news source.  And they called themselves.  "The most trusted name in news."  They would also have a voice come on just before they would show a commercial, to intone.  "You are watching CNN."  They were just like Johnny Marching Home triumphant.

But then came the fake stories and the hoaxes, too numerous to even begin to mention here.  But they were all reported dutifully, as if they were news.  Slowly but surely, even the most partisan of followers began to drift away.  No matter how angry someone maybe over whatever, they don't want to hear black helicopter conspiracy theories, which unfortunately, seem to be the only kind of people, still watching CNN.  Last week CNN had a viewing audience of just under 400,000 an hour.  How bad is that?  Well channels like HGTV and old reruns of Jerry Seinfeld that everyone has seen at least five times, draw bigger audiences.  Hell, even 'Duncanville', draws has more viewers.  Who?  It's some cartoon show no one here has ever heard of but it has an audience of 500,000.  There are 335 million people in the United States of America.  That means 99.999% of the American people, are not watching CNN.

So like Johnny sitting in front of the beggars bowl, CNN, We Hardly Knew Ye.

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*Joseph B. Geoghegan

^Patrick Gilmore

Star Crossed Lovers

Lunden Roberts is ready to speak out.  If the name doesn't ring any bells, it's because she's been in the shadows all this time.  She's the baby's momma of three time, convicted felon, Hunter Biden.  But she's ready to tell it all in her book, 'Out of the Shadows'. 

Now contrary to all who thought they knew, Lunden and Hunter did not meet in the Strip Club.  They met at a private party in the offices of Hunter's investment company.  Hunter was in his boxer shorts and that answers the question boxers or briefs for him but the boxer shorts had all these big red hearts on them.  Hunter was busy setting up all his drugs for later consumption.  Then their eyes met and Hunter had the most beautiful blue, grey eyes Lunden had ever seen.  Now we're not sure if it was the boxers with the red hearts, the drugs or his blue, grey eyes, as we only got to read an excerpt in the NY Post, the book doesn't come out till August but it was Kismet.

Of course everything was going along just peachy keen.  Things always do at first with Star Crossed Lovers.  Hunter was still seeing his dead brother's wife.  In fact, Lunden met the wife of the dead brother.  Maybe everything was headed for a Throuple, when Lunden got pregnant.  That put the kibosh on the whole thing.  Hunter said it wasn't his.  But then Hunter, got his Maury moment.  He was the father.  

And, all this time Lunden has kept silent.  Their baby girl Navy, is 5 years old now.  Lunden had to make sure her baby's future was secured.  The courts did that.  But now, she is ready to stand up for herself, strong woman that she is.

And rumors are swirling about, that the Ben Affleck/J-Lo marriage, has hit the rocks.  This is the second time around for them.  They met and had a whirlwind romance back in 2002.  They made a real bad movie together 'Gigli' and almost got hitched.  But as they neared the alter back in 2004, they called it off.  Twenty years later it was Kismet, once again.  This time they only made a real bad commercial together for Dunkin Dounuts and they managed to do, the I do's.

Maybe as the song says and Sinatra sang so well "Love is lovelier the second time around."  Then again Star Crossed Lovers almost never, actually that is a never, get a second bite at the apple.  That's the whole point of the Star Crossed in Star Crossed Lovers.  Think of Romeo and Juliet going through the whole thing again. And Paris and poor Helen and the whole sacking of Troy, all over again.  So Ben and J-Lo, make another bad movie and a bad commercial but divorce!  Just say it isn't so.  Say it isn't so.

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Shut Up Time

The question is.  What are you going to do about it.  Or as we used to say in the old neighborhood.  "Whata're you gonna do aboutittt!"  If you notice there is no question mark at the end of that.  It wasn't used as a question.  This would be invoked after someone had unwisely run their mouth, antagonizing someone else because they had nothing better to do.  But doing it till the person being antagonized, would have had enough and invoked.  "Whata're you gonna do aboutittt!"  And that, was a throw down.  It was the slap in the face, requesting a duel.  It was now put up or shut up time.  Since the original culprit was just running their mouth, 9 times out of 10, they would just shut up.  They never had any intention or ability to put up, so they just shut up.

This came to mind after one Anthony Fauci appeared before Congress for the umpteenth time and Wanna be a Big Bad, Tough Guy, Congressman, Jim Jordan told one Anthony Fauci.  "You lied!"  Fauci said.  "Who me?  Me, lie!  I never lie!"

Of course this Fauci guy has lied so many times, we don't think anyone could count it all up.  And his answer sounded a lot like Al Pacino, when he played Tony Montana in 'Scarface' and said.  "I always tell the truth.  Even when I lie."  Maybe Fauci should have used that line.  But better still he could have used our old line.  "Whata're you gonna do aboutittt!"

Obviously, Wanna Be a Big Bad Tough Guy, Congressman Jim Jordan isn't going to do anything.  So it's shut up time for Wanna be a Big Bad, Tough Guy, Congressman, Jim Jordan.

For Hunter Biden it was that moment when his ex-sister-in-law/girlfriend revealed a text message that showed Hunter was waiting for Mookie.  No, old time Mets fans not your Mookie, Mookie Wilson but Mookie the drug dealer.  That showed one of the jurors and eventually all the jurors, that Hunter Biden was a druggie with a gun.  Exactly what he was charged with.  So it's shut up time for one Hunter Biden, son of President Old Brains Biden.

For all you Old Brains President Biden lovers and there were 81 million of you in 2020, don't despair, his boy will probably only get probation.  But even if he does time, it will be in a minimum security facility that has a swimming pool, a 9 hole golf course and pickleball courts.  And, he'll be out in a few months.

And for those of you thinking what about Trump?  Well we're waiting for the sentencing.  We need to see if he's sent to prison.  Then if he still runs for President, while in prison.  If he gets elected or not, while in prison.  And then we'll know, it's shut up time.  But until then, we just don't know.  And, we don't know who it will be shut up time for either.

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Government For Dummies

There used to be books about Personal Computers or Coding and all manner of things.  Things that were new or things that were old.  But things we had to learn how to do.  These books would be called 'Computers for Dummies' or 'Coding for Dummies' or even 'Sex for Dummies'.  Like we said things that people had to know how to do and might not know how to do.  But these books would put you on the right path.  Unfortunately for some, they don't put those books out anymore.  Quel dommage.

Well it seems that we need another of these books and it's 'Government for Dummies'.  It seems that Four Star Admiral Robert Burke, pictured above and second in command of the United States Navy, got caught in a quid pro quo.  He agreed to steer a contract towards a certain unnamed company in return for a job after he retired from the Navy.  If there was a book 'Government for Dummies', it would have explained to Four Star Admiral Burke, that you steer the contract to the company.  Then you retire.  You then wait the 18 months that is usually a requirement of high government officials who procure contracts with private companies and then you send in your resume.  The only kind of person who would do it the way Four Star Admiral Burke did it, is...  you guessed it fans...  a Dummy!

And next up is New York City Councilman Harold 'Hesy' Tischler who got recorded offering to buy a New York Fire Department Inspector a Pastrami and a Corn Beef sandwich, complete with pickles, coleslaw and a coke.  This all happened when two neighbors in the Councilman's district got into a dispute over a Propane Gas tank that one of the neighbors had in his yard.  And, we're sure the Councilman will say he didn't literally mean to buy the Inspector a sandwich, just that he was trying to resolve the dispute and it was his way of saying.  "Let's end this and we can all break bread together."  But since this is New York City, he used the words "Pastrami" and "Corned Beef with pickles, coleslaw and a coke" instead of bread.

We're pretty sure nothing will happen to the Councilman other than he'll get re-elected next time he runs.  But the 'Government for Dummies' book would explain that it's the 21st Century, so the Councilman should have assumed that everything is recorded and not gotten into this mess.  The book 'Government for Dummies' would also explain to the FDNY Inspector, that anytime, anyone says anything, remotely like this to him, he should yell.  "I'm a New York City Employee!  I work for the People of the City of New York!  I don't want no stinkin' sandwich!"  Or any other sinkin' thing, he may get offered.

Consider this article, a Public Service Announcement.  And Books for Dummies people, get crackin'.

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OMG

"Brutal!  Horrific!  Disgusting!"  These are just a few of the words coming out of the mouths of certain people, as they try to come up with adjectives, adverbs and any other part of speech that could possibly describe their reactions to one P. Diddy beating his then girlfriend, Cassie Ventura.  And these are P. Diddy's friends.  Or they used to be.  They want you to understand how they could never imagine anything like this.  Like never.  Even if they've known him for decades and went to his infamous parties.

Now enquiring minds want to know how this video surfaced?  Who had it?  Who leaked it?  Well one theory is the Feds leaked it and they got a hold of it when they raided P. Diddy, Puffy, Puff Daddy, Diddy, Love, Sean Combs's houses?  That would mean he'd kept a copy of it all these years.  Why would someone do that?  Same reason you have videos and pictures of stuff.  So you can relive it.  This would make him, one, sick bleep.  The other theory is the guy from the hotel who sold it to P. Diddy, Puffy, Puff Daddy, Diddy, Love, Sean Combs, kept a copy of his own.  Either way, it spells doom for P. Diddy, Puffy, Puff Daddy, Diddy, Love, Sean Combs.

Then there was his apology video that went over like a lead balloon.  People are scratching their heads over that one, when they're not trying to come up with adjectives, adverbs and other parts of speech, to convey their amazement of it all.

Then there are the fall from grace crowd.  They can't fathom the nature of the man who had it all.  Well let's just put a little perspective on it.  P. Diddy with his half a dozen akas...  Hey we like that handle 'The Man With A Half A Dozen AKAs'.  Reminds us of 'The Man In The Iron Mask', as he might wind up in Prison for a long, long time.  Only the Three Musketeers aren't around to get him out.  But 'The Man With A Half A Dozen AKAs', is just your garden variety Socio/Psychopath, who happened to make a few bucks in the music business.  He'll be a trivia question on Jeopardy in the next decade and none of the Contestants will get it right.  And, a few years after that, no one will remember his name.  Even if he had a half a dozen of them.

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Quiz Time!

Every once in a while we like to run a little quiz just to see if people have been paying attention.  Information, as the Know It All's like to remind us, is essential to a Democracy.

Question 1.  Donald John Trump former President of The United States, is most like...

A. Adolf Hitler

B. Davy Crockett

C. Maury Povich

D. Jerry Springer

Question 2.  At the Met Gala...

A. Kim Kardashian had her waist tucked in so hard, she looked like a cartoon character.

B. Zendaya appeared twice in two separate outfits.

C. Doja Kat showed up in her bed sheet or something that looked like it.

D. None of the above.

E. All of the above.

Question 3. Kristi Noem Governor of South Dakota is out of consideration as Trump's VP because...

A. She's has no relevant experience.  She was the Congressperson from South Dakota but South Dakota is one of those states that have more Senators than Congresspersons and no one ever needed her vote on anything.  Besides, there's not much to do there or be in charge of, even if you are the Governor.

B. She shot her Dog.

C. She's the author of books that actually sold copies and Presidential or Vice Presidential candidates are not supposed to write books that sell copes.  See Hillary Clinton.

D. She told Biden to shoot his Dog.

E. None of the above. 

Question 4.  King Charles III will not see his son Prince Harry during Harry's visit to Great Britain for the Invictus games because...

A. The King is too busy.

B. The Royal family are a bunch of racists.

C. Prince Harry and his wife Megan's tell all Neflix series and Harry's book insulted the Royal family so much, that none of them want anything to do with him.  This is a big Diss.

D. None of the above.

E. All of the above.

Answers

Question 1.  Correct Answer D, Jerry Springer.  Both had long running T.V. shows and both held elective office.  Jerry was once the Mayor of Cincinnati and Trump POTUS.  Jerry's tag line was.  "Take care of yourselves and each other."  Trump's was.  "You're fired!"  If you picked D give yourself 25 points, as you will for every correct answer.  However there have been so many people comparing Trump to Hitler and you've probably heard it so many times, that if you picked A, Hitler, give yourself 5 points.  No, you get no points for Davy Crockett.  Yes he too held elective office but there was no TV back in the early 1800's.  And yes Maury has a TV show with a tag line.  "You are the Father! or You are not the Father!"  But he's never held elective office.  And no Hitler, did not have a TV show, even if he had a tag line.  "Heil Hitler!" 

Question 2. Correct Answer E.  All of the above.  If you missed this question, you just weren't paying attention at all.  When Democracy dies, it is all your fault.

Question 3.  Correct Answer B.  All the Know It All's think it's because she shot her Dog.  Who are we to argue?  But some of the other choices make sense, so if you picked A, C or D, give yourself 10 points.

Question 4. Correct Answer C.  Not only won't his father or brother see him, no one in the entire Royal family even has a room for him.  Harry is going to have to stay in a a hotel.  This was one big Diss and no one knows how to Diss better, than the Brits.  Hell, they invented it.

Scoring.  Normally we tell you what your score means but this quiz was a little tough in that some of the choices were not so clear.  But those of you who got a 100, you are winners!  You know what's going on and when democracy dies, it won't be your fault.

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'Blowin' In The Wind'*

We've been watching all these demonstrations all over the many college campuses of America and we have a few questions.  Where do they all get these tents from?  It's just kind of weird how these people show up complete with tents and such.  If you are a Protestor do you have to buy them before they let you join in?  Like it's  part of the costume you have to have, along with the flags, the T-shirts and the placards emblazoned with the  slogans?  Or are these the kind of people who go camping on the weekends?  We mean, when they're not protesting?

And as we pointed out in a previous article, the fighting has commenced, so why are they here?  Why aren't they over there?  If not in Gaza or at least Lebanon?  What if during the Civil War a whole bunch of Confederates pitched tents on college campuses and walked around with signs like 'Stay Out of Our Business', 'We Need Our Slaves' and 'From The Mason Dixon Line To The Rio Grande'?

Why are we the only ones asking these questions?  Isn't that what this whole journalism thingy is all about?  Where are the Talking Heads, The Cognoscenti Of The Known World and the many pretty faces of WWTMSM aka What Was The Main Stream Media?  Why does it seem that all they do is repeat the talking points, the slogans and the catch phrases of the participants in whatever hoopla, they are covering?  The only question they ever seem to ask nowadays, centers around do you hate Trump or Biden?  And or, how much do you hate Trump or Biden?

Maybe it's like that old protest song of years ago told us.  'The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.  The answer, is blowin' in the wind.'*

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*Bob Dylan